“You’ll never be alone. I’ll always be by your side.”
She wanted him to say she wouldn’t lose Ben, but she also knew he wouldn’t. Jinx wouldn’t give her words just to make her feel better. He told her he wouldn’t sugarcoat things, now she had to respect that. Instead of pressing the issue she drew her hand over his chest, just enjoying the moment, trying not to think about losing either of them.
Maybe caring for men of power takes a stronger woman than me. It pained her to think it, but she wasn’t sure she was made for it. She pushed the negative thoughts away. If she couldn’t have handled it, fate wouldn’t have mated her with Jinx. At least she hoped.
Chapter Seven
There were more in attendance at the funeral than Summer could have hoped. Once it was over, she sat clutching the exquisite urn that held her sister’s ashes, her face soaked with tears, and let Ben deal with thanking everyone for coming. She couldn’t face the sadness in the eyes of her clan members.
How they had managed to put together such a beautiful service in spite of everything she didn’t know. There were so many little details that meant the world to her. One of the only pictures of the three of them was displayed for all to see, and beautiful lilies and roses were scattered throughout the room. The urn even had Autumn’s name engraved amidst a beautiful autumn setting, the trees full of color.
There had been so much thought put into the event, including little touches like her favorite flowers, and the urn that made it more special. Autumn and Ben might have never seen eye to eye but this showed he cared more about her than he ever showed. Or maybe Summer just wanted to believe that.
“Everyone’s gone.” Ben wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “You okay?”
“No.” She chuckled through her tears. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever be okay again, but somehow I’ll find a way through it. What choice do I have?”
“If I could make things better, you know I would.”
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, for all of this.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Ben…” A voice called from the door. It sounded like Tex, but Summer didn’t turn around to see.
“I should go,” Ben said, squeezing her close. “Taber is taking Ty back to Alaska today, and we’re supposed to have one more training session. I’ll stay if you need me.”
“No.” She shook her head, running her fingers over the urn. “Go ahead. I’m fine. I need a few minutes alone and then I should check on some of the others.”
“I’ll find you later.” He kissed her forehead and stood.
“Honestly, I’m fine.” Every part of her hated to lie to him but she wanted him to go. He needed the training, or she might be burying him next.
She closed her eyes, let the silence wrap around her, bringing the memories of Autumn back to her. Grief tore her heart in two, stealing away her breath, until she thought there was nothing left. Anger sprang up on its tail. Anger at Avery, at the clan for not doing something to stop him, at herself for not doing something. It seemed her own life had meant more to her than jumping to Autumn’s aid.
Autumn’s torture was supposed to be just like all the other times she had to stand by and watch Avery cut away the will to fight from the members. Only this time it was different, costing her sister’s life. She died in order to free us. At least that’s what she tried to tell herself. It wasn’t the first death Avery was responsible for, but it was the last.
“May I join you?” Jinx asked, and she opened her eyes to find him standing in front of her.
“Where did you come from?”
“My mother’s loins.”
His joke brought a smile to her face.
“That’s not what I meant. I didn’t hear you or even feel you coming.” She should have known he was coming to her. It was part of mating to always feel your mate, to know where he was even when they were separated.
“You were occupied.” He held out his hand. “Come with me.”
“Maybe later, I just want to…” She didn’t finish the sentence. To say she wanted to stay with Autumn sounded stupid. Autumn wasn’t there, just the ashes from her body, but it was what she wanted.
“I know you want to stay but I have something you need to see. It can’t wait.”
“What?”
“Ben is about to start practicing with Ty. I want to show you how he’s doing. Ty’s working with him in the gym. We can see it from one of the offices without disturbing them. You’ll be able to see you have nothing to worry about. What do you say, will you come with me?”