“You killed her.” Niklaus sat on the floor beside Alise and leaned against the wall. He kept the pistol pointed at his cousin.
“Who? Who did you love more than me?”
“I loved Evelina.”
“A Slav? You shot me over a...” She coughed, drooling foamy pink saliva. “...over a dirty goddamned Bosniak?”
“I told you I didn’t want to shoot her.”
“You could have...” Alise coughed up thicker blood. “You could have told me. I would have let you keep her. Because I love you, Niklaus. Remember I loved you, and you killed me. Remember it...my only love...” She coughed again, and her cheek rested flat on the floor, her eyes staring into nothingness.
Niklaus stared at her body. Maybe he’d been wrong to do it. With her dying words, she had given him only love, despite his betrayal. He wished she’d been hateful and angry, as he would have expected. He wished he felt triumphant, at least, for finally working up the courage to avenge Evelina. Instead, Alise’s death now struck him like a knife to the heart. Her final outpouring of affection was the worst thing she could have done to him. He knew it would stay with him for the rest of his life.
He looked at her dead body and wept. Her death had not brought Evelina back, nor did it bring him any peace. His cousin had been his guide through life, his trusted friend, his lover. He was alone now, forever.
Niklaus put the pistol into his own mouth. He couldn’t face his family again, after having a sinful relationship with his cousin and then murdering her. He wished with all of his being that he could bring her back to life and be with her again. Life without her would only be agony and guilt.
He pulled the trigger.
Chapter Forty-Six
Little Miriam lay in her incubator in the last room on the hall, just as the nurse had told Jenny. Jenny was the first into the room, but she held herself back, forcing herself to wrap her arms tight around herself and make herself small, as she’d done when she was a younger girl whose main concern in life was staying invisible at school. Those teenage days already seemed ancient to her, after all the strange turns of her life since then.
Outside the clinic, screaming and scattered gunfire sounded all over the base. It sounded like Tommy’s final attack had been successful, driving a number of people crazy with fear. Unfortunately, those people carried automatic rifles. The baby squirmed and cried in her incubator, and Jenny resisted every instinct that told her to pick up the tiny girl and comfort her.
“You’re okay,” Jenny whispered. “You’re safe now. Your parents are here.”
“There she is.” Seth spoke quietly as he entered the room. He didn’t hesitate as he went to pick her up and hold her close. Bathed in his soothing, healing touch, the baby stopped crying, and even closed her eyes and rested her head against him.
“You’re going to be a good father,” Jenny said, her voice almost breaking. She knew that she would always have to be a distant mother, avoiding any contact with her own daughter.
As if feeling her distress, Mariella carefully wrapped her arms around Jenny and hugged her close, risking infection and death to comfort her. Jenny leaned her head on Mariella’s shoulder, keeping away from the bare flesh of her neck, and she cried.
“You’ll need some of these.” Esmeralda had opened cabinets in the room and found one stocked with standard baby supplies. She grabbed bottles of premixed formula and a stack of diapers, and she handed Seth a cloth sling, still sealed in the original plastic. “Be sure to support her head.”
“I can’t believe it,” Seth said as Esmeralda helped strap the baby sling around him and secure the baby inside it. The baby snuggled against his chest again, eyes closed. “She’s actually asleep. It’s all gunfire and horror-house out there, and she’s just taking a nap.”
“You’re good for her,” Jenny said. “Your touch.”
“How do we get out of here?” Esmeralda asked.
“They’ll have all four exits covered.” Jenny pulled away from Mariella and wiped her eyes. “Maybe we should find the vent shaft for this section. The vent got you both out of here last time, didn’t it?”
“It got us up there,” Seth agreed. He was still staring at his little daughter, brushing her soft cheek with his fingertip. “I just hope this guy’s access card opens the maintenance doors.”
“Just remember to come with us this time, Jenny,” Mariella said. “Do you promise?”
“Of course.” Jenny managed a small smile, looking at the sleeping baby through her tears. “I’ll never leave her.”