Obi-Wan nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He couldn’t think of that day without being swamped by feelings of guilt and loss.
Qui-Gon stopped. “Cerasi’s death was not your fault, Obi-Wan. You cannot prevent what you cannot see coming. You can only do what you think is right at each moment as you live it. We can plan, hope, and dread the future. What we cannot do is know it.”
You can only do what you think is right at each moment as you live it. Was Qui-Gon also talking about Obi-Wan’s decision to stay? Hope rose in Obi-Wan. Had he forgiven him?
Qui-Gon began to walk again. “Here we have two grieving people who are secretly afraid they’ve killed the person they loved most in the world. Perhaps the key to peace is as simple as the answer to a question: Who killed Cerasi? Sometimes whole wars can turn on one tragic loss.”
Qui-Gon had not been talking about Obi-Wan’s decision. His mind was fixed on the problem at hand. As it should be. He was treating Obi-Wan with compassion, but it was compassion with distance. He hadn’t forgiven Obi-Wan.
“But how can we discover who actually fired the shot?” he asked. “Wehutti is right. It was very confusing. Nield and Wehutti were both poised to shoot.”
They stopped. Obi-Wan saw with surprise that Qui-Gon had brought him to the plaza where Cerasi was shot.
“Now, Obi-Wan. Tell me what you saw that day,” Qui-Gon instructed.
“Nield and his forces were here,” Obi-Wan said, pointing. “Wehutti, there. I stood here. Their weapons were raised and they were trading threats. Cerasi came up through the fountain grate. I saw her …”
Obi-Wan’s throat closed. He cleared it and went on. “I couldn’t believe she was there. She began to run, and I ran, and I heard the blaster fire … I didn’t know where it came from, so I kept on running. I was so afraid, but I couldn’t move fast enough, and she fell down. It was so cold and gray. She was shivering -“
“Wait,” Qui-Gon barked brusquely. “Stop telling me the story like a grieving friend.” He softened his tone. “I know it is hard, Obi-Wan. But I can learn nothing if your emotions color what you say. You must remember without guilt and sorrow. Tell me as a Jedi would. Keep your feelings in your heart. Tell me what your mind saw. Now. Close your eyes.”
Obi-Wan closed his eyes. It took him a few moments to compose himself. He searched for a clear space to let the memory come. He calmed his mind and slowed his breathing.
“I heard the scrape of the grate before I saw her. I was already turning to the left. She saw everything in one glance. She lifted herself out. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she started to run. She jumped over the wall of the fountain. I turned back to the right for just an instant. Nield was surprised. I saw Wehutti out of the corner of my eye. He …”
Obi-Wan stopped, shocked at the clarity of his memory. “He lowered his blaster,” he said with surprise. “He didn’t shoot Cerasi.”
“Go on,” Qui-Gon said.
“I ran, and I lost sight of Nield. I was facing Cerasi, trying to get to her. I saw the sunlight glint on the roof of the building across the square. I remember hoping the reflection wouldn’t get in my eyes. I needed to see everything. I heard blaster fire. That’s when she fell.”
“Open your eyes, Obi-Wan. I have a question for you.”
Obediently, Obi-Wan opened his eyes.
“Didn’t you say that the day was gray? Overcast?”
Obi-Wan nodded.
“Then how could sunlight glint on a roof?”
Qui-Gon put his hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders and spun him around. “Look. Up there. Could you have seen someone on the roof? Could that glint you saw have been the fire from the barrel of a blaster rifle?”
“Yes,” Obi-Wan said excitedly. “It could have been.”
“And I have another question for you,” Qui-Gon continued. “You say the Elders had weapons that day. But that was before they imported them from the countryside. Where did they get them? If you had confiscated all the weapons and kept them in your warehouse, how did the Elders manage to rearm?”
“I don’t know,” Obi-Wan said. “I assumed they smuggled them in from the country.”
Qui-Gon gave a wintry smile. “You assumed? That does not sound like a Jedi.”
Obi-Wan tried not to show how crestfallen he felt. Qui-Gon was right. He had been sunk in his own misery. He had lost the discipline of mind that was the goal of every Jedi.
Qui-Gon saw that. And now his former Master had even less confidence in him than before.
To track how the Elders had been armed, Qui-Gon decided to start at the obvious place: the warehouse where the Security Squad had stored the confiscated weapons. Nield must have raided it. But could the Elders have stolen from it as well?