“I killed him, and then I buried the award back in the woods where no one will find it,” I whisper, repeating the words Emma Jo shouted when the two of us were fighting back and forth, when I thought Emma Jo was trying to cover for me knowing about the murder weapon with Leo, and I refused to let her do it. “You weren’t just shouting whatever you could to protect me, were you?”
She doesn’t say anything for a little while and then she shrugs.
“It was an ugly, stupid fucking award.”
I can’t help it, I laugh. It’s sick and it’s fucked up and if I were a different person, I would be picking up the phone and calling the police, but I’m not a different person. I’m strong and I’m stubborn, and if you’re my friend, I will do everything I can to protect you and I will take your secrets with me to the grave.
It doesn’t take long for Bettie to join me in laughter, and then Emma Jo comes back to the bed, curls up next to us, and the three of us laugh until tears are streaming down our cheeks. Happy ones, instead of sad ones, for the first time in a long time.
“Alright, bitches, that’s enough nonsense. It’s time to get serious,” Bettie suddenly announces, pushing herself up to her knees. “Payton, we need to fix you. You’re broken and it’s too late to return you and get our money back, so who has any ideas?”
“I’m not broken, I’m just sad. I’ll get over it once I get back to Chicago and things get back to normal,” I reply, the urge to cry when I say that out loud so strong that it almost chokes me.
“Have you realized she just says Chicago now and doesn’t call it home?” Emma Jo asks Bettie.
“Oh yeah, I totally noticed. She’s not fooling anyone,” she replies.
“I love her, but she really is kind of an idiot about some things. What should we do?” Emma Jo questions, tapping her finger against her lip in concentration.
“First thing we need to do is drag her out of bed and hose her off. She smells like regurgitated milk and bad decisions,” Bettie complains, plugging her nose.
“Stop talking about me like I’m not sitting right here, assholes,” I complain. “And I don’t smell that bad.”
Pulling my tank top up to my nose, I take a whiff and cringe.
“Okay, so maybe I do need a shower, but still. I’m not an idiot, and just because I didn’t call Chicago home means nothing.”
Emma Jo and Bettie both share a look and then they laugh.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s not polite to laugh at someone? Were you raised by a pack of wolves?” I grumble in annoyance.
“We’ll stop laughing at you when you stop saying stupid shit that makes us laugh,” Bettie informs me. “Sorry, babe, but survey says – Chicago is no longer home. This is your home. It’s always been your home. I didn’t believe it until I got here and saw it with my own two gorgeous eyes, but you belong here, Payton. These crazy people are your people. Sure, they’re always all up your ass and in your business, but it’s not that annoying when they’re doing it to protect you.”
She’s right. In my head, I know the words she’s saying are true, but I can’t get my head and my heart on the same page right now.
“Sure, they like me now, but what happens when they turn on me again and think I’m out to corrupt all the innocent people who live here?” I question.
“Then you’d have a hulking, beast of a man who fucks like a God and loves your crazy ass for some strange reason, to stick up for you and protect you and tell everyone to mind their own business,” Bettie fires back.
“I screwed it up. He’ll never forgive me,” I whisper.
“You don’t know that unless you try. You taught me how to be a fighter, and now it’s my turn to return the favor. Get your ass out of bed and fight for what you want, Payton,” Emma Jo says.
“But…what about Liquid Crack? I mean, I can’t just stay here and forget about my shop and leave it to someone else to run,” I argue.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing by franchising it?” Bettie asks in annoyance. “Other people are going to be running Liquid Cracks all over the U.S. You can’t be in a hundred places at once, and hello? Give me a little credit here. I’d run that place much better than you anyway,” Bettie smirks.
Suddenly, my sad and broken heart starts to heal a little bit at a time as I think about what Bettie is saying. She’s right. There are going to be Liquid Cracks all over the place and it’s not like I ever planned on being at all of them. I put my faith in the investors and the lawyers to help me choose the right people to open up and run my babies in whatever state they want, and I need to trust those people to run them how I would. I need to trust this town I grew up in to take care of me when I need it and do the same for them. I need to let go of the idea that I can’t grow here and I can’t be who I want to be here. And I need to let go of my fear of falling in love. I already fell, I was just too stupid to admit it to the one person who needed to know it.