CHAPTER 35
I’m a bitch before coffee. And after.
—Coffee Mug
Pulling Emma Jo’s car into the driveway, I grab the bag of Styrofoam containers from the front passenger seat and head into the house, knowing I only offered to go pick up breakfast so I could butter Leo up and to get out of the house as fast as possible so I could have a little time to collect my thoughts.
Don’t judge me. Desperate times call for desperate measures and an omelet from The Hungry Bear would have to do.
As soon as I walk through the front door and head toward the kitchen, I see Leo coming down the hallway and I smile at him as I pause and wait for him to get to me. The fierce, pissed-off look on his face makes my smile drop and I set the bags of food down on the floor by my feet. He walks right by me without saying a word and I quickly turn and grab onto his arm.
“Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
He jerks his arm out of my hand and the look he gives me is enough to make any woman want to shrivel up into a ball and go off to cry in a corner.
“First, you keep a secret about the damn pie, then, I can tell you’re still keeping something from me even though you promised you wouldn’t, but I let it go because I just wanted to be with you and none of that seemed important in the grand scheme of things,” he states in a low, angry voice that renders me speechless. “This whole time, I’ve been busy falling in love with you, and you’ve been busy planning your fucking wedding.”
“Sweetheart, you’re home!”
This confusing, Twilight Zone moment is brought to you by Benjamin Montgomery, the dumbass who just waltzed into the hallway from the kitchen.
When I realize what Leo is so upset about, ignoring the minor detail about me still keeping something from him and COMPLETELY passing right over that whole declaration of love thing for the time being, my heart stops trying to beat its way out of my chest and I stop panicking. And start laughing. Which is the absolute opposite thing you should do when a guy you’ve been sleeping with who thinks he’s in love with you, who looks five seconds away from slamming his fist into the wall, and also thinks he just found out you’ve been lying to him about being engaged.
“Glad you find this amusing,” Leo growls at me, looking over at Benjamin and giving him a nod. “Nice talk, Ben. You’ll excuse me if I don’t feel like staying around to chat more.”
“It’s BENJAMIN,” the dumbass replies as Leo turns and stalks to the door, yanking it open so hard it slams against the wall.
“Fuck you very much, Benny,” Leo mutters over his shoulder, giving Benjamin the finger as he starts to leave.
I finally pull my head out of my ass, stop laughing, and lunge after Leo, grabbing his arm again, tugging him to a stop and making him turn around to look at me.
“You, aren’t going anywhere,” I inform him, still clutching tightly to his arm as I look back at Benjamin. “And YOU are a fucking idiot! We are not engaged, there isn’t any wedding, and you need to get that through your head before I ram it in there with a two-by-four!”
Benjamin’s face falls and as I stand here looking at him in his three-piece suit and slicked back hair, I wonder what in the hell I ever saw in him. He’s a pansy-ass idiot, and I can’t believe I never realized just how stupid he was.
“But, mother already booked the country club! It’s a fantabulous location for a wedding and I can’t just have her cancel it,” he whines.
“For the love of God, stop using that word. You sound like a douchebag,” Bettie complains, coming into the hallway with Emma Jo on her heels.
“We heard loud voices and came down to see what was going on,” Emma Jo explains, looking nervously around the room and the tension flying through the air.
Leo tries to turn away and pull his arm out of my hand again, but I refuse to let go. Quickly moving around to stand right in front of him, I drop my hold on his arm long enough to grab fistfuls of his t-shirt and pull him down so he’s forced to look at me.
“Benjamin and I broke up before I came back to Bald Knob. He proposed, I said no and ended things, and I haven’t seen or spoken to him in over a month. We aren’t engaged, we aren’t planning a wedding, and I wouldn’t marry him if he was the last man on Earth, standing on a deserted island holding the last cup of coffee,” I explain.
“That cuts me deep, Babykins. Really deep,” Benjamin sighs.
“Shut the hell up before I punch you in the neck,” Bettie threatens. “Get your ass back in the kitchen and stay there until we tell you to come out.”
Benjamin does as he’s told, knowing better than to mess with Bettie first thing in the morning before she’s had a chance to cuddle up with Baby Cecil.