I just nod my head like an idiot, already feeling like the lowest of the low for not telling Leo about the pie, quickly feeling much worse about the whole thing the deeper and dumber I go with more lies, especially with the way he’s looking at me right now. Like he doesn’t believe a word out of my mouth and he doesn’t know whether to be hurt or pissed after what happened between us in the last twenty-four hours.
“Sheriff, if you’ll excuse us, we need to make sure all of the yellow dishes have definitely been removed from the kitchen, just in case. Also, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could get rid of those poor raccoons for me,” Emma Jo tells Leo with a smile as she grabs my arm and pulls me quickly toward the house.
Bettie takes one last glance at a pissed-off-looking Leo and then makes a run for it, jogging to catch up with us.
“PAYTON!” Leo roars from the woods when we get to the side corner of the house.
“SORRY! CAN’T TALK NOW! I’VE GOT CANCER TO CURE!” I shout back to him over my shoulder, watching him stand there by the dead raccoons with his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face, until Emma Jo yanks harder on my arm to get me to move faster and we disappear around the side of the house.
“Jesus God, how have you two not been arrested yet?” Bettie complains when we get to the front of the house.
“Shut your face, do you know what this means?!” Emma Jo asks her excitedly when we stop at the top of the front porch.
“That you probably won’t get the death penalty because you’ll fail the psych evaluation?” Bettie replies dryly.
“No, this means we officially didn’t kill my husband with a poisoned blueberry pie!” she answers, clapping her hands together like a toddler while jumping up and down happily.
Her words take a few seconds to sink in and dig their way past all the guilt and when they do, I forget about feeling bad for keeping things from Leo and I join Emma Jo in her happy dance, grabbing her hands and bouncing up and down with her.
I quickly put an end to my squeals of delight when something else occurs to me.
“Wait, but that means we’re still responsible for killing two innocent creatures,” I remind Emma Jo sadly.
She immediately stops bouncing around and her arms fall to her sides.
“They were really cute and cuddly, too,” she adds with a frown.
“They were two rabies-infested, fly-covered, rotting carcasses who were dumb enough to steal a poisoned pie from your kitchen windowsill, drag it into the woods, and inhale it!” Bettie reminds us.
A slow smile spreads across Emma Jo’s face as she turns to Bettie.
“Yes, but they gave up their sweet, cuddly lives to prove our innocence, and Payton and I need time to mourn them. Also, they were not a thirty-two-year-old abusive man and former mayor of this town, which means Payton and I aren’t murderers!”
We give each other a high-five and Bettie sighs loudly, shaking her head at us once again.
“So, that means there’s still a killer out there, walking the streets of this Podunk town. I don’t know what scares me more, thinking you two idiots could have killed someone or not having any idea if some random stranger I met in town did it. I need a drink,” Bettie grumbles, moving away from us to open the front door.
“I’ll get the wine!” Emma Jo announces as we follow Bettie inside the house. “Every time someone says the words dead raccoons, everyone drinks!”
CHAPTER 30
Recorded Interview
June 5, 2016
Bald Knob, KY Police Department
Deputy Lloyd: Franny, you can’t just go around changing official documents from the County Commissioner’s office. Do I need to remind you this is a murder investigation?
Franny Mendleson: And do I need to remind you there are thirty-seven questions the good people of Bald Knob deserve to know the answers to?
Deputy Lloyd: About Sheriff Hudson’s love life?
Franny Mendleson: It’s the most horrible thing to happen to this town in my sixty-seven years!
Deputy Lloyd: The murder of Mayor Jackson wasn’t horrible?
Franny Mendleson: I meant, horrible for the single women of this town, obviously.
Deputy Lloyd: Franny, Sheriff Jackson and who he may or may not be seeing has nothing to do with our investigation, and I can’t have you messing things up with your need to know all the happenings in this town.
Franny Mendleson: It has everything to do with this investigation since he’s seeing a murderer! Or is it murderess? I can never remember which one.
Deputy Lloyd: Nothing has been confirmed and Payton has not been charged with any crime. You know that, since you work here and have typed up all the interviews, notes, and paperwork. We need to be focusing on the crime, not pointing fingers or wasting time with something that has no bearing on this case. I’m completely shocked that you would do something like this and not see the seriousness of the situation.