CHAPTER 27
Ivy had been stable, so I was able to return to Brooklyn with a clear conscience after my week in Boston.
Before heading back to New York, I spent all of Sunday at the group home with her and never mentioned the impending divorce, although I brought her a letter I had written that summed up most of what I had already told her, so she would have my feelings in writing.
I didn’t know whether she read it or not after I left, but it made me feel better to give it to her. I stayed with her until she kicked me out that afternoon, accusing me of planting a chip in her arm while she was napping.
It was a relief to be back in New York for the week, but I had wished Nina were with me. I overnighted her an origami bat for every day she was at her parents’ house. Stopping at Fedex on my way to work each morning was the highlight of my day.
***
A week later, it was the Sunday night that Nina arrived back in Brooklyn, and I had come home from Boston early. I had planned to rush over to her apartment the second she got home. A text came in from her just as I was heading out the door.
I don’t think I can see you tonight. I’m not feeling so good.
Fuck that.
I immediately picked up the phone and called her.
“Are you okay?”
She sounded tired. “Hey…no. I’m just feeling really crappy. My stomach hurts. It’s that time of the month, and it was a long bus ride. Rain check?”
“I guess so, baby, but I was really looking forward to seeing you. How about I come over and take care of you?”
“That’s really sweet. I think I just need to sleep, though. I’m sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the night together.”
“It’s alright. Tomorrow night, though, wild horses won’t keep me away, okay?”
“Okay. Good night, Jake.”
“Sweet dreams, baby. Feel better.”
***
The next night, desperate to see her, I didn’t even call before heading to her apartment straight from work.
When she opened the door, her long blonde hair was tied into two pigtails, and she looked really tired. She also appeared to have lost some weight.
I pulled her into a tight embrace. “Baby, I missed you so fucking much.”
“I missed you, too.”
I lifted the brown paper bag in my left hand. “I brought Chinese from your favorite place.”
“Oh,” she said.
“What’s wrong, Nina? Talk to me.”
“Nothing. I just…don’t really have an appetite. I’m still not feeling well.”
“I’m sorry,” I said as I put the paper bag down and felt her head then kissed it gently. Her skin was cold.
My mouth lingered on her forehead when she looked up at me. “I’m the one who should be apologizing for being such a party pooper.”
“That’s okay. You can’t help it if you feel like crap.” I took her hand and pulled her over to the couch. “C’mere. Let’s sit down.”
She laid her head across my lap, and I caressed her hair. Her skin was pale and her breathing shallow.
I would take being close to her to anyway I could get and became angry with myself for getting turned on. Seriously, had I no shame? It just happened. The feel of her breath so close to my dick made me hard. It had been too long since I had been with her, and it was my body’s natural reaction. I closed my eyes and imagined the wart on my seventh grade teacher Mrs. Mortimer’s chin. Hairy. Wart. Wasn’t working. Shit.
She didn’t seem bothered by my erection, or at least, she didn’t say anything to that effect. She didn’t say much of anything at all, in fact. When I peeked down at her face on my lap, it surprised me that her eyes were wide open, like she was deep in thought. I had assumed the reason she was being so quiet was because she was falling asleep. Yeah, she wasn’t feeling well, but something else was wrong. Something was bothering her. I didn’t know how to explain it, but I could feel when Nina was sad in the same way I felt her pain when she cut her finger. It was a connection I had with her and no one else. Unfortunately, it did not extend to being able to read her mind.
“Baby, is everything okay?”
“I just have a lot on my mind. I have two exams this week, plus I told you about my friend, Skylar.”
“The girl with cancer?”
“Yes. I go see her every Wednesday. I talked to her today. She hasn’t been doing well. The chemo has been making her really sick.”
“Shit.”
“I am hoping I don’t have to skip going to see her this week.”
“Because you’re sick?
“I can’t be around her if she could catch something.”