“Yes, with all the things that remind him of me.”
“I knew he had it bad, but damn, girl.” She shook her head at me. “Look at you…you’re beaming.”
“I can’t help it. I’ve never felt this way. I’m in love with him, Tarah.”
She hugged me tightly then pulled back. “Make that two people who’ll fuck him up if he ever hurts you, then.”
***
Jake called me from work at 2:45 that afternoon, and I answered the phone in my best throaty voice. “Hi, handsome.”
“Nina?”
“Yes, of course it’s me, silly. I’ve been thinking abou—”
“Listen to me, okay? I have some bad news. Everything is okay, but I have to go to Boston tonight.”
“What?”
“There’s been an emergency, so I am actually flying instead of taking the train. I’m on my way to LaGuardia now.”
My heart fell to my stomach. “You’re scaring me. What kind of emergency?”
“It’s nothing to be scared about. There’s a situation that’s related to what I needed to discuss with you. We can’t have this conversation over the phone. We were supposed to talk tonight, but it’s going to have to be as soon as I get back. Please trust me. Everything is okay with us. Everything is going to be fine, and I promise to explain it to you in a couple of days. Nina…are you there?”
I was silent for a few seconds then said, “Yes.”
“I’ll call you as soon as I can later tonight.” He repeated, “I need you trust in me.”
“I do trust you…but you can’t blame me for wondering and worrying.”
“I know, baby. I know. It’s easier said than done, but please don’t worry, okay?”
“As soon as you get back, we need to have that talk. The not knowing is starting to kill me.”
“I promise,” he said amidst car horns and people shouting. “I just pulled up to the airport. I’ll call you later. I love you, Nina.”
“I love you, too.”
***
I spent the rest of the day Monday on pins and needles unable to eat or concentrate.
Ryan had asked me where Jake was that night, and I explained that there was an emergency in Boston. He spent most of the evening interrogating me about what I really knew about Jake, trying to convince me that something didn’t seem right and warning me to be careful. I tried not to let him see that he was scaring me.
Jake ended up calling me about midnight.
He sounded extremely tired. “Did I wake you?”
“No. I haven’t been able to sleep. I have been so worried.”
“I am so sorry that I couldn’t call you until now. Everything is okay. There is nothing for you to worry about. Believe me. My being here does not change anything between us. Do you hear me? Just give me a chance to explain this to you in person. It’s not something I can do over the phone. I’ll be here one more day then flying home late tomorrow night and coming straight to you.”
It was quiet wherever he was.
“Okay. Where are you?”
“I just got to my sister’s house. I’m spending the night here.”
“Call me tomorrow?”
“I promise. I love you, Nina.”
“I love you too, Jake.”
I hung up the phone and prayed for tomorrow to come quickly.
***
It was about 5:30 Tuesday night when Ryan came home from work. He walked in the door and hung up his coat.
He hung up his coat.
Normally, the act of hanging up a coat is a very insignificant thing. But for me, the moment when Ryan hung up his coat meant everything.
It was the last moment that I could remember when things were normal. It was the moment before everything changed. Because the second he turned to me and looked into my eyes, I began to suffocate.
“Nina, you need to sit down.”
“What’s going on?”
He gently patted my arm. “Sit down.”
I walked over to the couch and sat. My palms were sweaty, and my heart was beating a mile a minute.
“Nina, I don’t know how to tell you this…”
I gripped the seat cushions. “Just say it. What is it? Did someone die?”
“No…it’s not like that.”
“What?”
“After our talk last night, I did some digging. You know, at work at the D.A.’s office, I think I told you, we have quick access to public records and such.”
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
He continued, “I looked up Jake’s information, did a background check and found this document. Do you know what this is?”
He handed me a piece of paper and I glanced down at it. He immediately moved to the couch next to me and put his arms around my back. It felt like a drum was beating in my ears and my body started to shake uncontrollably.