I stood there frozen against the hand dryer and didn’t even flinch when it turned on after I accidentally pushed into it. I wasn’t sure exactly when the room started spinning. Was it when she finished her monologue or was it when I looked down and saw the large purple rose tattoo on her ankle? It was the same tattoo I saw on the girl leaving Jake’s room the day I moved in.
I had been listening to Jake having sex with Desiree that day.
She just stood there eating up my shock with a satisfied expression.
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
Don’t cry.
I started to cry.
Should I go back into the stall and throw up there or see if I can make it upstairs? I burst through the bathroom door and texted Jake.
You fucked Desiree???
When I reentered the dining room, he was just getting up from the table when I saw him look down at his phone. The moment he noticed the text, he looked up into my tearful eyes.
His voice shook. “Nina…”
He looked terrified as I ran past him and weaved through tables to the restaurant exit.
As I was almost out the door, I could hear him in the distance shouting at Desiree, “What the fuck did you say to her?”
CHAPTER 18
I wanted to run as far away from the restaurant and from him as I could. If it weren’t starting to snow heavily outside, I might have.
Everything was foggy as I made my way up the stairwell in a haze. My heart was beating faster than I ever remembered, as the worst kind of jealousy-induced rage consumed me.
I couldn’t believe it.
He had done everything in his power to stop things from becoming sexual between us. He wouldn’t give himself to me, yet he very willingly gave himself to that whore.
I hated him.
I loved him.
I had planned to pour my soul out to him tonight and almost told him how I felt moments ago in that hallway. How stupid of me to think that his feelings for me were equally as strong. On top of that, he treated Desiree like he barely knew her in front of me. Apparently, women were a dime a dozen to him.
Without thinking, I began to pack some of my belongings into a duffel bag: underwear, bra, pajamas and an extra shirt. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do, but I knew I needed to be far away from this apartment tonight. I couldn’t even look at him right now, let alone sleep here.
As I began to run out of my room with the bag in hand, the front door flew open. Jake was panting, and his eyes were frantic as he stormed toward me. “Nina, please…talk to me. Please,” he said hoarsely.
I clutched the bag to my chest, using it as a barrier between us. “Stay away from me. I have nothing…nothing…to say to you.”
He kept his distance, backing away but stood in front of the door, blocking it. His voice was low and his breathing rapid as he held out his hands in protest. “You have to let me explain.”
“Explain! You want me to stand here and listen to you explain how you fucked that whore so easily while you put my feelings through the wringer for months, confusing me and sending me mixed messages? You had no problem ‘making her come until she screamed’…did you? And believe me, it was a doozy. I heard it for myself.”
He stepped back in shock and gave me a belligerent look. The wind howled outside, but that was all you could hear in the room until he shook his head and asked, “Fuck…what? What are you talking about?”
I was about to cry but managed to hold it in. “That’s right. The day I moved in. You were fucking her in your room. Remember that day? Well, I was here unpacking. I thought I was alone and didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. I heard everything, Jake…everything.” A teardrop escaped and fell down my cheek as I recalled hiding in my room, blissfully unaware that I was listening to the man I’d eventually fall in love with, screwing another woman.
His breathing intensified as he ran his hand through his hair, closed his eyes and looked down at the floor, computing what I had just revealed. He said nothing for several seconds. Then, he finally whispered under his breath. “Oh my God.” He slowly approached me. “I am so sorry,” he said, his voice quivering.
“If you’ll excuse me, please get out of my way. I need to find somewhere else to stay tonight,” I said trying to pass him again.
“You’re not going anywhere. Not until you hear me out.”
“I told you. I have nothing to say to you.”
He blocked me as I attempted to get to the door and wouldn’t let me by. My body reacted instantly when he held out his hands and placed them firmly on my arms. “I’ll leave tonight, but I’m not going anywhere until you let me explain. Do you hear me?”