Throughout the course of that day, his admission that we needed to talk when I got back, had started to consume me.
I had no appetite during our Christmas ham dinner because my body had basically shut down from worrying.
When my parents and I sat down later to watch, Elf, my mind was not focused on the movie, and I wasn’t finding parts funny that used to make me laugh out loud. The different theories about what he wanted to say to me were flooding my brain.
Then, I came to an unhealthy realization. I seriously didn’t think I could live without Jake and felt like my entire world would crumble without him in it. Even though I wanted to take the next step with him so badly, at the same time, I knew if things stayed the same, I would never have to worry about losing him. There was something to be said for keeping things just as they were.
The fact that he hadn’t texted me again that Christmas Sunday put me further on edge.
***
The following Tuesday Jake was back in New York when he texted me for the first time since Christmas Eve.
Jake: The house is fucking boring without you. Even sniffing your underwear hasn’t put me out of my funk. If I sniff this one five times, will you magically reappear?
Nina: LOL. Get out of my lingerie drawer!
Jake: 36C? I knew it.
Nina: Now, I know you’re lying because you’re off by a cup size.
Jake: 36D? Really? Damn.
Nina: 34D but yes.
Jake: That was a clever way to get your bra size, though, wasn’t it?
Nina: What are you really doing?
Jake: Just sitting around, actually. Tarah and Ryan are going downstairs to Eleni’s for dinner. I might go with them because I have nothing better to do without you here to bug.
The fact that he’d be going downstairs tonight irked me and made me want to jump on the next bus back. If Desiree were working, she would use the opportunity of Jake being a third wheel without my being there, to sink her nasty paws into him.
Nina: That’s nice. Have fun.
Jake: What day do you get back again?
Nina: Sometime during the weekend of January 8th.
Jake: Shit. I won’t be home. I’ll see you that Monday, the 9th, then?
Nina: Yeah.
Jake: Let’s plan to go out that night.
Nina: Okay. Have fun at dinner.
Jake: Where is this lingerie drawer, btw?
Nina: (Rolls Eyes)
Jake: ;-)
***
At the end of the two weeks, I ended up arriving back in Brooklyn on a Saturday afternoon. A part of me was hoping that by some miracle, Jake would have skipped Boston just this once, but he was gone.
Tarah and Ryan were nowhere to be found either, so I decided to go out for a jog, since the weather was actually mild for January. Running would be a good way to expend some of the nervous energy that had built up over the past couple of weeks.
After changing into spandex and a hooded sweatshirt, I grabbed my iPod and a bottle of water from the fridge and flew out the door. On my way down the stairs, I could hear groaning coming from Mrs. Ballsworthy’s apartment which prompted me to stop in the stairwell outside of her door and listen in.
Strange.
Usually, the only sounds coming from that place were an expletive or a game show blaring on the television.
The noises continued, and I stood paralyzed, unsure of what to make of it. Suddenly, came the words, “Help! Help me!”
Oh God!
What was I supposed to do? I was terrified of that woman. She scared the bejesus out of me.
Putting aside my terror, I turned the knob, surprised to find that the door was open. I nervously trotted on my tippy toes to the back of the apartment and followed the sound that was coming from one of the bedrooms.
She was on the floor, clutching her chest and turned to me. “Help me, Nina. Help…me.”
“Mrs. Ballsworthy?!” I rushed over to her, and she grabbed by hand squeezing it. I dialed 911. “Yes, I need an ambulance right away to 1185 Lincoln. I think my neighbor might be having a heart attack. Mrs. Ballsworthy, what are you feeling? Can you talk?”
She could barely get out the words. “Chest…tight…pain…arm.”
I responded to the directions of the dispatcher. “Okay…okay. Yes, of course, I’ll stay with her. Yes…she’s lying down. Do you have any aspirin?”
She pointed to bathroom across the hall.
I ran and grabbed a bottle of Bayer that was in the cabinet, rushing back to her and placing one in her mouth in a panic. I opened my water bottle and helped her drink some down.
“Don’t leave me, Nina.”
“I won’t. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I said holding her hand for about five minutes until the sound of sirens in the distance got closer.
As my father always used to say, “We make plans, and God laughs.” I was heading out for a jog and somehow ended up in the back of an ambulance with a woman whose only words to me prior to today had been, “Go fuck yourself.”