Jake Undone(42)

I jumped when he moved because I thought he was going to touch me. Instead, he abruptly got up and opened his window. Cold air rushed in as he walked over to the bedside drawer and reached for the cigarettes, taking one out and lighting it. Inhaling deeply, he slowly blew the smoke outside as he sat against the edge of the windowsill.

“Why are you smoking? I thought you quit.”

He shook his head. “I did. But I really needed one, and I need to keep my distance right now.”

“Why?”

He didn’t answer me and continued to alternate between inhaling, exhaling and flicking the ashes out the window.

I repeated, “Why are you smoking?”

His breath hitched, and he finally turned to me. “You really want to know why I’m smoking?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Because it’s keeping my mouth occupied and stopping me from doing something I shouldn’t right now.” He took another long drag. “You should probably go back to your room.”

My pulse raced. “You’re smoking and telling me to leave because you want to kiss me?”

He looked up at the ceiling and laughed like he didn’t mean it. Then, he inhaled and looked over at me. Smoke streamed out of his mouth when he said, “I wouldn’t tell you to leave if I only wanted to kiss you, Nina. I am telling you to leave because I want to taste you and make you come until you scream in every possible way imaginable. It was all I could think about all night long. It’s why I couldn’t sleep. But now that you just told me no man has ever done that…fuck. That’s why I am smoking if you really want to know.”

He had managed to render me completely speechless, and I couldn’t tell if my panties were just wet or whether I peed slightly.

He repeated in a raspy whisper. “I really think you should go back to your room.”

Despite his direct suggestion, my body did not move from that spot at the edge of his bed. He continued to stay by the window, staring outside even after he put out the cigarette. His handsome side profile lit up in the moonlight.

Something wasn’t right. If he wanted me, why wouldn’t he just take me? And I’ve shown him that I wanted him. He’s certainly not a virgin. We knew that from day one.

The air was getting even colder in the room since he still had the window wide open. He finally shut it and turned to me, glancing down at my breasts. I knew he could see them through my thin pajama top. He licked his lips slowly, causing my nipples to harden even further. He continued to keep his distance.

When I looked down and noticed that he was fully hard through his sweatpants, my frustration grew even deeper. He was breathing heavily and swallowed when he saw me notice his arousal. He continued to look at me without saying anything at all.

I stood up from the bed and walked towards the window stopping a few inches in front of him. The heat radiated off of his body, and I could feel him breathing me in. He was consuming me with all of his senses…except touch. Finally, he slowly reached his hand toward my waist, gripping the material of my shirt and caressed my side. I felt his nails digging into me, and his hot breath blew over my chest. Just when I thought he was going to rip my shirt off, he pulled his trembling hand back. “Fuck,” he growled under his teeth.

I was panting, and my stomach was in knots thinking about the question I was about to ask him, one I really didn’t want to know the answer to. I blurted out, “I want to know what you do when you go to Boston every weekend.”

He blinked a few times and broke eye contact, looking down at the floor, then back up at me. He was caught off guard and looked troubled, staying silent for several seconds before he responded. “It’s complicated, Nina.”

When the words came out of his mouth, it felt like my heart fell through my stomach. He wasn’t going to give me any straight answers tonight, but those three words were enough to confirm that there was likely someone else.

There was a massive gray area to this black and white situation after all.

I wanted to come right out and ask what he meant, whether he had a serious girlfriend, or whether it was something entirely different, but I lost the courage and again, truthfully, a part of me really didn’t even want to know. At this point, what I did know was that I had been playing with fire and that I needed to take his advice and leave.

“Good night, Jake.”

He just stood there without saying a word and let me walk away.





***





The next morning, my eyes were bloodshot, and I had that foreboding feeling that I remember getting when I was a young teenager and a boy would break my heart. You know, the one where you wake up and forget about it for one split second, and then when you realize it wasn’t a dream, complete dread sets in.