Jake Undone(34)

I read the text as many times as I could before Alistair returned to the table.

I put my phone away when our desserts arrived, and unfortunately, my brain and appetite must have run away together, because I was now just sitting there…well, stunned.

Alistair returned and sat down. “Are you feeling okay, Nina?”

“Yeah…I think my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I’ll probably get the cake to go.”

He nodded because his mouth was full of cheesecake. I just wanted to get home as fast as possible in case Jake hadn’t left. He had said there was a possibility he would be leaving in the morning.

He held the door for me as we left the restaurant. The cold night air hit my face and blew my curls all over the place.

“What’s so funny?” Alistair asked.

I must have been smiling to myself as we walked, thinking about the text. And even though Alistair was holding my hand, all I could think about was how much I wanted to sleep next to Jake tonight.





***





Alistair leaned in to kiss me as he left me at the door to the apartment and I kept my mouth closed, allowing it but not encouraging it to turn into the type of kiss I dreamt of with Jake.

Intentionally not inviting him in, I wished him a good weekend and let him know I’d see him in class next week. I would have to come up with an excuse as to why I wouldn’t be able to accept another date with him if he asked.

The apartment was quiet, and all of the doors to the bedrooms were closed. My pulse raced as I approached Jake’s room and knocked.

“Jake?”

Nothing.

I knocked again.

He was gone.

I felt a mixture of sadness, frustration, longing and relief, only because I was pretty sure I would have said or done something stupid tonight if he were here…like maybe jumped his bones.

Loneliness set in as I walked back to my room and kicked off Tarah’s heels. I pulled the dress over my head, put on a long white t-shirt and brushed my hair back into a ponytail.

The water must have run for minutes on end in the bathroom as I washed the makeup off my face, lost in thought, without paying attention to the time.

I had really come to hate the weekends, when Jake was away. Even though we weren’t together as a couple, I missed him and felt safe when he was around.

As I tried to fall asleep, the restlessness was overwhelming. I could not stop thinking about him and replaying the entire night in my head.

Insomnia was winning out, so I got up and made myself some tea instead of rolling around aimlessly in bed.

As I sat up sipping my chamomile and watching late night television in the living room, it dawned on me that Christmas and the end of the semester would be here before I knew it. That meant the tutoring sessions would end. Getting an A on the next exam suddenly seemed less important than getting to spend even more time with Jake, even though the thought of another “excursion” terrified me.

I shut off the television and started back toward my room when I impulsively passed it, heading over to Jake’s instead. I opened the door and immediately jumped.

He was there. He was sleeping!

No way.

I approached the bed slowly to get a closer look and jumped again when I realized it was just a ton of bunched up blankets made to look like a body. And there was a baseball cap on the pillow.





What the heck?


I pulled back the covers. Underneath was an origami bat. I opened it:



Looking for someone?



I covered my face in a mix of embarrassment and disbelief that he somehow knew I was going to sneak into his room tonight. Determined to hide the fact that I took the bait, or in this case—the bat—I carefully folded it back together and placed it under the covers but not before I buried my face in his pillow, relishing the musky scent. The cigarette smell was almost completely gone, making me wonder if he was trying to quit.

Before I left, I noticed something else: three more bats crumbled in the wastebasket. I picked them out and saw that he had started to write something on each one before scrunching it up and tossing it out. It was as if he was struggling to find the right words and gave up.

The first one just said: Hope your date was great…

The second one: How does Ass Hair compare…

The third: You looked…

Wow…okay. I didn’t realize that he actually thought so deeply about what to write on these things. This discovery both flattered and confused me. How he finally came to the conclusion that the best course of action would be to trick me into thinking he was sleeping was beyond me.

Back in my own bed, I stared at the ceiling and concluded that tonight proved Jake knew he had an effect on me. I just couldn’t figure out what effect I really had on him and whether he thought about me the same way.