“No. I want to stay.”
He had no idea how much.
“Good.” His body seemed to relax further into mine after I said that I wanted to stay. His nose was buried in my hair and I could feel him smelling me. He gripped my waist and the heat of his breath behind me continued to make me crazy. My underwear was completely soaked from the need developing between my legs.
I didn’t understand what the spooning meant or really, how such an innocent thing could make my body respond this way. I just knew that it felt amazing to be so close to him and that my emotions were going haywire. Those butterflies in my stomach? They were forming a conga line right about now.
After getting a glimpse inside his mind through those drawings and after bonding with him in the elevator last week, lying next to him like this was the most intimate experience I had ever had.
“Jake?”
“Yeah.”
“I really am sorry for invading your privacy.”
After a long pause, he said into my hair, “It’s okay, Nina.”
“Thank you.”
“Nina?”
“Yeah?”
“Your underwear drawer might get rearranged this week. That’s all I’m sayin.”
My back moved against his mouth as I giggled. I started to relax, and minutes later, I fell asleep in his arms.
CHAPTER 9
Two weeks later, and things with Jake were stranger than ever. I hadn’t slept in his bed ever again after that night, and we never spoke about the spooning or the drawings I discovered. The morning after I slept in his room, I woke to an empty bed because he had already left for work.
He tutored me a couple of more times and made no effort to take things any further with me those nights alone in his room. He was basically acting like nothing ever happened. As a protective mechanism, I had convinced myself that this was for the best. In reality, his indifference made me furious and unfortunately, even more physically attracted to him, if that was possible.
The only positive thing to come out of the anger I felt was that it made me focus harder on my studies. I was now in a secret mental competition with him, determined to get an A on my next math exam. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of taking me on another expedition of fear and felt like I needed to prove myself. At least, it was a positive way to channel the sexual frustration.
That’s not to say I didn’t close my eyes at night and imagine him lying behind me. Knowing what that actually felt like now was a curse. Keeping my feelings in check was so much easier before that night. But I was also determined to move on from my infatuation with Jake.
So, one Monday afternoon after math class when Alistair asked me for a date the following Friday night, my response was, “Sure, why not?” Jake would be on his way to Boston by the time Alistair came to pick me up from the apartment, so there would be no awkwardness. Not that Jake would even care, but it made me feel better knowing that he wouldn’t be there to scrutinize my date. Alistair was pretty much the polar opposite of Jake except for the fact that they were both really smart.
***
The Wednesday evening before the Friday of my date, I had come home late from school to find Ryan, Tarah and Jake sitting in the living room watching television. It was unusual for everyone to be home at once.
I silently waved hello to them without making eye contact and went straight to my room. I was in a pissy mood and had spent the greater part of the walk home angry at myself for obsessing over Jake again. And when Mrs. Ballsworthy told me to “fuck off” on the way in, for the first time, I loudly returned the sentiment; that’s how bad of a mood I was in.
Once in my room, I tore off my clothes and changed into my favorite pink sweatpants and put on a comfortable t-shirt. I was about to start a new book on my Kindle when Jake appeared at the doorway.
He stretched his arms up and touched the top of the threshold. Why did he have to look like a tattooed trophy and smell so good? His shirt rode up, showcasing his washboard stomach as he stood there before me saying, “What…you don’t say hello anymore?”
“Jake, I’m not in the mood.”
He walked slowly toward me. “What’s gotten into you?”
I didn’t say anything in response, so he continued, “Or is the problem that… nothing…or no one…has gotten into you lately?”
I put down my Kindle in shock. That bastard. “What did you just say?”
He held up his hands. “Relax, Nina. It was just a joke! You know, you’re being uptight. Uptight people need to get laid? Just a joke.”
I threw a pillow at him. “Get out.”
He threw it back at me. “Fuck. I was only kidding. You used to appreciate my sick sense of humor,” he said, looking seriously pissed.