I began screaming for help and tried to nudge him away from the panel, but he was too strong, so I punched the back wall in frustration.
I was shaking, felt defeated and said under my breath, “Fuck me! I can’t believe this.”
“Well, that’s one way we could pass the time, but I don’t make a habit of doing that with women in the midst of a hyperventilation episode. It’s too confusing…hard to tell what’s actually causing the heavy breathing.”
I stifled a laugh but tried not to let him see it. “Very funny,” I said.
“I was kidding, of course. Just trying to make you laugh, but apparently it’s not working,” he said as he continued to stand against the panel, his criss-crossed, tattooed arms not budging.
I walked over to the other side of the elevator and slid down to the floor. I hugged myself, rocking back and forth in an effort to calm my panic. With my eyes closed, I could hear the sound of Jake opening the zipper of his backpack and tried to imagine I was somewhere else, anywhere but stuck in this death trap.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Several minutes passed in silence, as I kept my head down in a fetal position. I was beginning to calm down a tiny bit when it happened: what sounded like an explosion.
Sheer terror ensued as I jumped and screamed simultaneously. When I looked over at Jake, he was on the ground laughing hysterically, covered in foam, holding…a bottle of champagne.
Son of a bitch.
“Jake! What the hell? What THE hell?”
Champagne dripped down the bottle that he held above our heads. “We’re celebrating!”
“You are sick!”
“We are celebrating your survival, Nina! It’s been twelve minutes and thirty-three seconds since this elevator stopped, and you are still alive.”
His antics only got worse when he produced two champagne flutes from the backpack, followed by a small blanket, which he fluffed dramatically before placing it down onto the middle of the floor.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like we’re doing? We’re having a picnic.”
He then took out an iPod, speaker and a bunch of food from Trader Joe’s: crackers, hummus and chocolate covered cherries.
“You are not serious!”
“Dead serious. We need to change your negative connotation of elevators. The last time you were in this situation, you associated it with darkness and misery. Now, the next time you get stuck in one, you’ll think of the amazeballs picnic we’re gonna have.”
Jake poured the champagne into the two glasses and handed me one. I didn’t extend my hand. “You’re being a jackass.”
He glared at me. “You can take it, or I can drink it all. Then, you’ll just be stuck in this elevator with a drunk jackass.”
I let out a sigh and reluctantly took the glass. He began opening the packages of food he brought and popped a chocolate covered cherry into his mouth. “These are awesome. Try one,” he said as he handed me the container. I had no appetite but took one and ate it. He was right. It was delicious.
I shook my head as I realized that, for a few seconds, he had really distracted me, and I had stopped focusing on the potential for disaster. I had been living in the moment without even realizing it. While not gone entirely, the fear had somewhat subsided in the midst of this absurd setup.
I stayed quiet in my corner of the elevator and rolled my eyes as Jake spread some hummus onto a cracker and ate it. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more bizarre, he started fiddling with his iPod, connecting it to a speaker. It took me a few seconds to realize what song he had played: Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty.
That jerk! I started to laugh and covered my mouth.
Jake, who had been serious for the most part, aside from the champagne popping, also started to crack up when he saw he had broken through my bitterness.
“Nina Kennedy. Is that a laugh I hear? Are you seriously making light of this dangerous and life threatening situation we are in? Shame on you!”
I began to laugh even harder, and he threw a cherry at me as he flashed a wicked grin.
“Jake, you are nuts, you know that?”
“Oh! Speaking of nuts…” He lifted his finger and reached into his backpack. “You need to sample my nuts, Nina. Try these.” He snickered knowing he had succeeded in embarrassing me. “Why are you blushing?”
Laughing, I said, “I don’t want to taste your nuts, thanks.” When he handed me the container anyway, I looked at it and said, “Chocolate covered brazil nuts? I have never had these.” I took one and ate it. “Mmm. They are good.”
His smile shone through the glass as he sipped more champagne. “See?”