“Don’t you get it, Nina? I can handle suffering with you, baby. Isn’t that how we started…my holding your hand through everything? I want to spend the rest of my life doing that. I’d go through hell and back over and over for you. It’s losing you I can’t bear. When you hide from me, when you tell me not to touch you, it scares me. I’ll suffer with you any day, as long as you let me love you.”
A tear fell down her cheek, and I ran my tongue over it, licking it away. “Don’t cry,” I whispered. “It hurts me when you cry. I love you so much.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I need you to believe that,” she said.
There were no further words necessary. I could feel her heart beating through her chest, and with every ounce of my being, I knew she meant everything she said. In the same way I could always feel her pain, I felt her love for me pouring through her soul at that moment.
I wanted to show her in the way I knew best, how much I loved her, too.
CHAPTER 33
NINA
Jake kissed away the last of my tears then looked up at me. The hunger in his eyes from earlier had returned. “I don’t want to talk anymore,” he said.
Good. Neither did I.
Between our getting interrupted this morning, to my longing for him while he visited his ex-wife and then his leaving me in the bathroom tonight…I was overstimulated.
It didn’t help that he looked beyond incredible with his chin scruff and tousled grown out hair. I looked down at the contrast between my white skin and his tanned tattooed arms wrapped around my waist. They were three shades darker due to his working out in the sun lately.
And this beautiful man belonged to me.
He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it. It was always bittersweet to see my name inked around his finger, a symbol of an unreturned commitment born out of a nasty fight. How could I have turned him down when he had asked me to marry him? The life I had before he came along was empty, consumed by fear of the future and past regrets. Meaningless. Being with Jake was always about living in the present. Our lives weren’t perfect, but he was perfect…for me.
I was still straddling him when he flipped me over onto the bed so that I was lying on my back. He hovered over me and his smile faded when he realized I had tears in my eyes again.
I was crying because of how much I loved him, plain and simple. Before he said anything, I ran my fingers through his hair and said. “They’re happy tears.”
“Okay.” He smiled. “I want you to relax now, baby. I am going to make you forget all of the pain of the past couple of months. It’s just you and me and this moment. I want you to get lost in me. Can you do that?”
I bit my bottom lip in anticipation, as he lowered his head and devoured my mouth with his. I teasingly nipped at his tongue ring, and he groaned playfully.
“Do that again. Bite my tongue like that, but do it harder, pull on the barbell. It fucking turns me on when you bite me,” he said.
I kept locking his tongue in with my teeth, and he growled each time I did it. We couldn’t get enough of each other, smiling, laughing, teasing. It was heaven.
When he began sucking my nipples, the sensation was overwhelming. We would laugh every time milk would come pouring out, and then he would lick it away. “Mmm…so sweet, just like you are,” he said.
He kissed his way down my body and if the need I harbored for him all day was like a controlled burn between my legs, then his hot wet mouth coming down on my clit was the gasoline. The cold metal of his ring sent a shockwave through me. He circled his tongue slowly around my folds while his fingers moved in and out of me. He moaned in ecstasy, enjoying giving me pleasure as much as I loved receiving it. I had my hands on his head, guiding his mouth over me.
“Pull my hair harder,” he said, and I complied. “Harder,” he repeated.
He was driving me mad.
After a few minutes, he kissed his way back up to my mouth and I pushed his boxers down. “I want you inside of me…now.”
He continued kissing me, ignoring my pleas, his slick cock rubbing against my stomach. My need for him was immense. I lowered my hand and started to jerk him off, but he took my hand away. “Uh-uh,” he said, smiling over my mouth as we kissed.
He then kneeled above me and stuck his fingers back inside of me, closing his eyes and breathing out slowly. His wet hair was falling over his forehead as he looked down at me and let out a long breath that I felt on my stomach.
“Fuck…you’re so wet.” With his eyes fixed on me, he kept moving his fingers in and out before withdrawing them and licking each one and I almost came from watching him.