Jake Understood(18)

He was clearly referring to the last time I was in here a few months ago when I left with an attractive blonde named Debra. She and a friend were the only two females in the bar that night and were being hit on by pretty much every single patron. At one point, this drunk dude was coming on too strongly, and Debra looked really uncomfortable. I walked over and pretended to know her, hoping to take his attention away. When he finally got the hint, she and I started talking and ended up getting along well. She was about ten years older than me and in the middle of a divorce. Like me, she said she wasn’t looking to get into a relationship but confessed that she hadn’t had sex with anyone since her marriage ended.

She asked me to have a night cap with her because her two kids were apparently with their father for the weekend. Debra ended up going down on me within the first two minutes after arriving at her apartment, and we had sex three times. She screamed so loudly when she orgasmed, they probably heard it at Fenway Park.

She kept begging me to fuck her again, saying no one had ever made her come the way I had. After that night, Debra wouldn’t stop calling and texting me. Even though I made it clear I wasn’t interested in getting involved with her, she insisted that she needed to see me again, basically doing a total one-eighty. That was the main reason I’d avoided coming back to the bar for so long since she only lived down the street, and I was sure she’d been back to look for me.

Briefly looking behind my shoulder, I shrugged. “Not interested in getting into any more trouble if you know what I mean, Lenny.”

Of course, the encounter with Debra was before Nina came into the picture. No other woman had entered my sexual consciousness since. Swirling the remainder of my drink around in the glass, my mind drifted to my roommate again as it typically did lately. I stayed lost in my thoughts for the better part of an hour before throwing a twenty down and exiting the bar.

The rest of that weekend was spent reflecting on the reality of my situation as it related to Nina. It was easier to think straight when we weren’t under the same roof. Even if I were to let something happen between us, it would all be a lie. She deserved better than a guy who wasn’t up front with her and could never fully be there for her. She deserved better than to be pursued by a married man. Despite the fact that she made me feel more alive than I probably ever had, it was becoming more necessary by the day to distance myself. It needed to start immediately. This was for her own good and ultimately, mine.







Demons by Imagine Dragons played on my iPod as the subway approached my stop back in Brooklyn. It was ironic because the lyrics described to a tee how I saw myself. I was hiding demons, sure, but if she looked closely enough at me, I felt like Nina should have been able to see that they were there. I often wondered why she never asked me what I did every weekend in Boston. It was as if she knew the answer was something she might not want to hear.

As I walked down Lincoln toward our apartment, I thought back to the same time one week ago and how excited I was then to be able to see Nina again. But after my rough weekend with Ivy and the epiphany I had, the approach home tonight was downright painful now that I’d made the decision to stay away from my roommate. The tutoring would have to be it, mainly because I didn’t know how to explain my way out of it.

To add to my miserable state, it started pouring rain. I just wanted to get home, shut my door, take off my wet clothes, maybe rub one off and have a cigarette.

Nothing about this night felt right. Even Mrs. Ballsworthy wasn’t at the window like she normally was at all hours. Being told to go “fuck myself” was something I’d come to rely on.

A weird feeling followed me all the way up the stairs to the apartment.

Even though Nina’s door was closed, longing developed at the pit of my stomach as I passed her room. Not even a minute home, and I was wishing I could see her. This was going to be one of the hardest weeks of my life.

When I turned the light on in my room, my heart nearly stopped.

I stood frozen in the doorway, unsure of how to handle the sight that greeted me. Nina lay sprawled across my bed, her golden hair covering my pillow. My sketchbooks were all over the bed.

What. The. Fuck.

This should have made me livid, but mainly, it just confused the hell out of me. The normal thing to do would have been to wake her up and ask her what the hell she was doing snooping through my things. Instead, I threw my backpack down and just stood there taking in the sight of her in my bed.

Nina was in my bed.

Her beautiful ass was facing me as she curled into my mattress. I moved closer to stand over her and just watched her breathing. She must have sensed me because her body stirred, and then she started to wake up. She jumped up so fast you would have thought I’d lit a firecracker under her ass.