When Gabe sang the last note, I didn't know what to do. Considering how amazing the song was, it seemed cheesy to clap for him. Instead, I opened my eyes to let him see my tears. "Wow," I murmured.
Tilting his head at me, Gabe asked, "Wow as in ‘Wow, that was a load of crap' or ‘Wow, that was amazing'?"
"I can't believe you even have to ask for clarification. Don't the tears in my eyes tell you enough?"
"You could be crying because of how awful it was," he countered.
I swiped my eyes. "Well, I'm not."
A pleased look flashed in Gabe's eyes. "It was really that evocative?"
"Oh Gabe, it's beautiful. I love the symbolism of the man being a prisoner of his own insecurities, which causes him to be incapable of love-and then he finds the woman who sets him free." I swept my hand to my heart. "It's absolutely gorgeous."
"You know, you're the first person to hear it outside of my family. I played it for Abby and Eli the other day."
"What did they say?" I asked tentatively.
He grinned. "The same kind of things you did."
I playfully nudged his leg with mine. "Then why did you doubt yourself?"
His expression slowly darkened. "Because I remain in a constant state of crippling self-doubt," he said in an agonized tone.
I fought the urge to stare at Gabe in disbelief. I couldn't believe the words that had just come from his mouth. I doubted anyone outside of his parents or siblings had ever heard them. He was so reluctant to share personal things about himself, but this confession made him appear very vulnerable before me, and my heart instantly went out to him.
"That seems to happen a lot to creative people, doesn't it?" I questioned softly.
"It's our cross to bear."
"I wish I could take it from you-the self-doubt. Then you could have a clearly untainted few of how insanely talented you are."
"What you said just now-that's the other reason I wanted your opinion. You're a fresh ear, someone who isn't in the business."
"I don't know why you would want to listen to me. They're the ones who know and understand music."
"But you understand the emotion. Without an understanding and an appreciation for the emotion, a song is just a piece of music."
"And that's bad?" I questioned.
"To me it is. I want it to be an experience. When I write, I want my songs to be ones that take you back to a time or place or bring you comfort when you're going through a really difficult phase."
"That's so intense," I murmured.
Gabe chuckled. "What do you mean?"
"I've never met anyone who thinks as deeply as you do." I shook my head at him. "It's truly inspiring to hear you talk about songwriting."
"You're the inspiring one. Without you, this song wouldn't have happened."
"But how?" I murmured.
His lips curved into a smile. "Don't you get it, Rae? You are the song. You're within each and every line of the lyrics."
I wanted to argue with him that the beautiful meaning conveyed in the words of his song couldn't possibly be about me. I wasn't any of the things the heroine was-I didn't breathe life back into his dying body, didn't free him from the prison he found himself in.
As if he could read my mind, Gabe said, "Yes, you did."
Overcome by the emotion of the moment, I found myself stripped of the ability to speak. Although a myriad of emotions swirled in my mind, I couldn't find a way to string them together. Instead, I closed the gap between us on the couch and threw my arms around Gabe's neck before dipping my head to bring my lips to his.
I poured everything I couldn't seem to say into that kiss-all the appreciation and the longing, all the gratitude and the wonder.
When I finally willed myself to pull away, I stared into Gabe's hazy eyes. "Thank you for that," he said as he brought a hand up to cup my cheek.
"You don't have to thank me, silly. I'm the one thanking you-or at least I was trying to with my kiss."
"You did a damn good job."
I smiled. "I hope so." I could have stayed like that-wrapped up with Gabe staring adoringly at me-for the rest of the morning, if not forever, but my phone ringing in my pocket took us out of the moment. As I dug it out, I didn't have to look at the display to know who it was.
"Hey Dad," I said.
"Where are you?"
"And hello to you, too."
"It's after nine. You're never late."
As Gabe teasingly shook a finger at me, I rolled my eyes. "Today's the bake sale at Linc's school. I had to stop by there."
"Well, we've got an insurance adjuster here to look at that totaled Suburban."
"Okay, I'll be right there."
"See you in a few, sweetheart."
"Bye."
When I turned back to Gabe, he smiled at me. "You have to go."
"Unfortunately."
He swept a loose strand of hair back from my face. "It's okay. I didn't expect for you to be able to stay. You do have a job and a life."
Something in the way he looked at me made me sad. "I wish I could."
"I know."
After nibbling on my lip, I said, "You could come by later, if you wanted to. I have to go work the bake sale from noon to one, but after that, I'm free the rest of the day." I laughed. "Well, as free as one can be at their job."
Surprise filled Gabe's eyes. "I thought you didn't want me hanging out at the shop because I would stir up the men and confuse them about what's going on between us."
"They can say what they want to."
He grinned. "I see."
"Does that mean you'll stop by?"
With a bob of his head, he replied, "Just as soon as I catch a nap."
I grimaced. "Once again, I'm really sorry you lost sleep last night."
"Trust me. This"-he motioned between us-"made it all worth it."
"I hope so."
When I started to get off the couch, Gabe pulled me back down against him. Cupping my face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed me. Although I could tell he wanted it to be more just as much as I did, he somehow managed to maintain his restraint. When he pulled away, he smiled. "See you later."
"Sweet dreams."
"They will be if they're about you."
Sweeping a hand to my hip, I said, "I said sweet dreams, not sex dreams."
Gabe laughed. "Someone is pretty sure of themselves if they think I couldn't have a dream about them without it being about sex."
"I'm just speaking from experience."
When Gabe's eyes bulged, it was my turn to laugh. He popped off the couch like a jack-in-the-box. "You had a sex dream about me?"
"Maybe."
He growled. "Don't be coy now."
"Fine then. You were very good in it. Does that make you happy?"
"Like how good?"
I waggled my brows at him. "Like I came in my sleep kinda good."
A cocky smirk curved Gabe's lips as he puffed his chest out. "So I was that good?"
I am so not answering that. "Now don't go getting a big head. Just like with morning wood, women can have orgasms without any sexual stimulation."
Gabe's hand reached out to slide around my waist. As it started to dip down over my ass, he said, "I'm going to call bullshit on that."
Pushing out of his reach, I wagged a finger at him. "It's true. You can Google it."
"I'm not saying the orgasm thing isn't true-I'm calling bullshit that it wasn't me who made you come."
"Maybe. I guess we'll never know."
"We'll just have to rely on the orgasms I give you when you're awake."
Yes, I'd be really happy to rely on those too. "I guess so."
Tilting his head at me, Gabe asked, "You don't sound so certain about that."
"Oh, I'm certain about the orgasms you'll give me."
He grinned. "Okay, then what's the problem?"
You, Gabe. But really, it wasn't him-it was me. I hadn't slept with anyone for the sake of sex alone since I was in my early twenties. I'd grown not only older since then, but also wiser. I wasn't sure I could transition back to those early days, although Gabe had brought me awfully close to no-strings-attached sex-pun intended. I didn't know what was the right way to tell him that while I wanted to slow down, I didn't want to turn him off.
"I'm just not so sure I need them any time soon."
"Ah, I see. You're talking about putting the brakes on any more sexcapades." Bingo.
I giggled. "Sexcapades? Seriously?"
"I'm pretty sure what we did on your kitchen counter last night would be considered a sexcapade."
"Hmm, you're probably right."
"Of course I am."
"Okay, Mr. Cocky, you still haven't said whether you're okay with slowing things down."
"While I would prefer for us to stay in the fast lane, I'm totally fine with easing up a bit."
The breath I'd been holding whooshed out of me in relief. "Thank you."