Oh.
His words left her even more confused. Did she want to be placed on a pedestal, too?
The answer came to her. No. She didn’t want to be placed on a pedestal. She just needed Jason to see – to really see that she was a young woman now, someone who was alive and aching to love him. She didn’t mind that he spoke crudely to her. She even loved it, because it meant that he saw her as a woman – and that he was not treating her like a child.
Jason’s arms went around her from behind. She shivered when she felt him lifting her hair up so he could kiss her nape. “Are you angry with me now, ma petite?”
She shook her head, arching her neck helplessly as his lips trailed to the front and he started to suck.
“You might leave a mark.”
“That is the point,” he murmured against her skin. “It is to make boys like your Gabriel understand that although I am letting you play with them, it does not mean you belong to them.”
“You’ll let me play with them?”
He bit her neck, making her squeal. Lifting his head, he gently turned her around so she could see his face. “I want you so much now that fucking you in every way possible is all I think about these days. But more than that, I care for you and even though I’ll fucking hate it, I want you to have the chance to find out someone better than me.”
“There is no one better than you for me.”
“Yes, there is, Keanne. I’m sure of it. I just hope to God that when you meet him, I’ll still be honorable enough to let you go.”
She beat his chest. “I hate it when you’re like this. Contrary to your beliefs, it’s not sexy to date a martyr!”
A surprised laugh escaped him, having never heard himself described as a martyr before. “A martyr? Is that how you see me?”
Slowly, she shook her head.
“Then how do you see me? As your sun?”
She forced a smile. “Something like that.” She didn’t think it was the right time to let him know that she thought of him more than a sun. In her eyes, he was the sun god, the brightest among all the stars in the sky, something so beautiful that every mortal wanted to own him.
He took her hand. “Let’s take it day by day for now, hmm?”
She nodded.
“That’s my girl.”
Her heart somersaulted at the words even though she knew he really didn’t mean it. But one day he would mean it. One day, it would happen. She just had to keep believing that day would come.
****
Jason kept her company throughout the day, attending every class with her. They invited attention wherever they went, both of them so well-known and both of them famously private about what was going on between them.
When they were done with the last class, Jason surprised Keanne by asking her if she wanted to join him and his friends for an evening out.
“Are you sure?”
The hesitation on her face made Jason frown, and he temporarily let go of the door of his car, which he had been in the act of opening for Keanne. “Why wouldn’t I be sure?”
“Because we’ve known each other for years and yet this is the first time you’ve invited me to meet them.”
The pain Keanne desperately tried to hide did not escape Jason, and with a muttered expletive he hauled her into his arms, uncaring that they were once again in public. If they kept this up, people would really start to believe that they were a couple.
“I’m sorry, ma petite.”
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” she rushed to say. “I just---”
“---thought I was somehow ashamed of you and thus did not want you to meet my friends?”
“No, of course not---”
“Yes, you thought that and I don’t blame you. It may seem like the only reason for my actions, but I swear to God it’s not.” With a tired sigh, he cupped her chin to make Keanne see in his eyes that he was telling her the truth.
“Years ago…most of us were in pretty bad shape. We all had our demons to face and I didn’t want you to be a part of it. You had just left an evil world behind you. What kind of a friend would I be to you if I took you into another one?”
“A-and now?”
“We’ve…settled down somewhat.”
She was quiet for a few seconds and then her eyes darted away from his. Before he could ask why, she was speaking again. “And do they all know…about how you feel for Lilac?”
He could not lie to her. “Yes.”
****
“Everyone, this is Keanne.”
Four men – she counted them carefully as she did her best not to hyperventilate – and a beautiful girl. She knew all of them by face, of course. Reid Chalkias was the so-called Prince of Darkness, just one semester away from being drafted to play in the NBA. Nathan Callis was the model, the most mysterious among them. Christien di Luca was the one who always threw parties, while Derek Christopoulos was the political heir and the only engaged man in the room.