“Oh boyoboy! I awso tow ganny Pawie need a cookie to make hew aw bettew. Be wight back!”
Miah and I are both grinning like idiots by the time I hear ma giggling outside the door and the excited chatter of a little boy who knows he just conned his grandma into a free cookie before lunch.
“God I love that kid.” Miah laughs, shaking his head as we both turn to look down at Paulie and the hand with a big wet patch glistening on the smooth skin.
“Me too. I wish she was awake while he did that. She’s get a real kick out of having a kid nursing her back to health.”
Miah sighs and gives me a mock scowl.
“You need to make your own kids and leave that boy to me.”
“Jealous?” I tease, chuckling when he slaps my head and gives me a shove.
“Hell yes. If he’s not follow ma or pop around he’s searching for his Great and Mighty Unca Jared. If I didn’t know better I’d swear you bribe him with those cookies he loves so much.” He gripes.
It’s hog wash and he knows it. Josh and I have had a special bond since the first time I laid eyes on the little hellion and no matter what Miah or the other saps do, I am his number one Uncle.
Spending time with that kid is about the only thing in the world that’s kept me sane while I struggled wth my feelings for Paulie and I love him like his my own. That will never change no matter how many kids I have in the future.
“Okay, down to business. This stuff should have her back on her feet in three days or so. Just keep an eye on her incision for infection,” Miah says, coming over to sit in the chair beside me with his elbows at his knees.
I know what he wants to say, and while I’m not feeling it right now, I just push my annoyance aside and stay as I am, waiting for the big bad leader to have his say.
“I’m glad you don’t hate her, man. She was wrong and we all know it, but I can’t shake the feeling that for whatever reason, she had no choice. Paulie is not a bad person, Jared. She wouldn’t have done any of this just for the hell of it.”
I know and that’s worse in a way, because part of me does not want to know it all. If they have something on her…
“I agree. And I’ll know soon, I will, just not yet, man. She needs time to heal and I need…”
I stop and swallow when he claps a hand to my shoulder and squeezes firmly.
“I know. I know what it is to love a woman, bro.”
“I don’t—”
“You do, you just don’t want to is all, but I’ll tell you that means absolutely nothing in the end. You love who you love and that’s the end of it, so you better find a way to forgive her. That’s what it’s going to take for you to get past this.”
Yeah. And what should I do about the gnawing fear in my gut every time I think of Roman? I believe Trace when she says it was Roman who took those shots at Jace. I had that very same thought before she voiced it, and I know enough about Roman’s technique to see his name written all over those “careless” shots.
But if Roman is involved and he let those bastards hurt Paulie, then brother or not, I’m kicking his ass. And then I’ll find out what’s going on with him and maybe sort it all out.
If he is involved, more than we suspect, I’ll forgive him and move on. Somehow. But for Cupcake, Roman better hope he wasn’t anywhere near when she was hurt.
“I forgive her,” I say, swiping my thumb over her hand in delicate sweeps as she breathes evenly.
The wet patch where Josh kissed her has dried and I fancy that his love has penetrated her skin and is even now healing her.
“No, you don’t. Not yet, anyway, but you will. When we love we can’t help but forgive. I just hope you do it before you lose her is all.”
“I won’t. I won’t ever let her go.”
I don’t give a shit if she hates me and turns out to be Cleo’s best pal. She’s mine and she’s staying where I can keep her little ass protected and safe.
“Having a woman and having a woman are two different things, bro. Paulie has lived most of her life caged and with her wings clipped. Do you really want to do to her what her family did for years?” he asks, meeting my angry gaze head-on.
I’m so pissed to even be thinking all this right now. Miah just raises a brow, not even a little afraid of me when I’m in this mood, and I curse at him, irritated by his nosiness.
He’s my twin, someone I love and trust with my life, but this is none of his Goddamned business and I tell him so.
“You think I give a shit, bro? You’re my brother. We shared a womb together and I would walk through fire for you anytime, anywhere, and you know it, but I will never bullshit you. You’re too hard and unforgiving, and Paulie, no matter what she’s done, is soft and fragile, Jared. She needs love, not you keeping her locked away to teach her a lesson.”