Ivan(10)

The sound of my phone ringing pulled me out of the guest bathroom. Towel wrapped tightly around my body, I headed into the attached bedroom and found my phone on the bed next to my purse. Vivi's face filled my phone's screen.

"Hello?'

"Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened? Should we come over?"

"Vivi, calm down! I'm okay."

"Are you sure? I was getting off shift and Nikolai wouldn't let me take the bus home. He had his driver bring me to the apartment. I asked why and he told me what happened." Vivi sounded close to tears. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." I sat down on the bed and slumped forward with a loud sigh. "Ruby called me. I was so close but I missed her. By minutes, I'm guessing. And then that man showed up and Ivan got there in time to save me. It was scary but Ivan kept me safe. He protected me."

"I could just smack you, Erin! We told you to call us if you needed help. I mean, come on! At least Lena packs heat."

"I know." I cringed at my stupidity. "But I was so worried Ruby would run or pass out or something. You know how she is."

"Yeah," Vivi said, her voice unnaturally soft. "When this is over, when she's safe and everything is okay again, you're going to have to make some hard choices about her. You can't keep enabling her."

Any other time, I would have argued with Vivi but not tonight. She was right. "I keep thinking about how crazy this has all become. I always want to save her. I'm always running around cleaning up after Ruby. I should have…I should have cut her loose a long time ago, I think."

The pained sob that escaped my throat was filled with years of grief and anguish. How many times had Ruby stolen from me? How many times had I come home to find her druggie friends passed out on our couch? How many times had her dealers accosted me or shaken me down for her owed debts? This thing now was just a culmination of years of bad choices—bad choices I'd supported by enabling her with a place to stay and money.

"She's your sister, Erin." Vivi sniffled on the other end of the phone, no doubt crying right along with me. Unlike Lena who held everything inside and refused to show any emotion, Vivi showed such warmth and empathy for people. "We do stupid things for the people we love."

I thought about the drug-addled, mentally ill mother who had nearly killed Vivi as a child and the father who had chosen his life with a hardcore outlaw motorcycle gang over her. The same father who had manipulated a twelve-year-old Vivi into helping him run drugs. To be betrayed and used in that way was a stain that never washed off. If anyone understood what I was going through right now, it was Vivi.

"I've tried to get her help so many times. I've dragged her to meetings. I've taken her to doctors for help detoxing at home. Remember when I worked three jobs last summer to pay for ninety days of rehab? She didn't even last a full month."

"Maybe this will be the nightmare that pushes her to change. Hopefully she'll finally wake the fuck up and see how badly these drugs are ruining her life and yours."

I wasn't so sure. I'd assumed a nasty overdose last summer and a brush with drug court earlier in the year would have done it but neither had touched her.

"So where are you now?"

"I'm at Ivan's house."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah."

"So I guess you're really safe, huh?"

"Seems that way."

"Well—what's his house like? I mean, you know, like is it obnoxiously huge with all the money he's made with his gym and his fighters?"

"It's big," I confirmed. "It's very beautifully furnished and very nice."

"And Ivan?"

"He's been very nice to me. He didn't have to put his neck on the line with those Albanians but he did."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. Finally, Vivi asked, "Do you think he like, you know, likes you?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes."

"And you? Do you like him?"

"Yes. No?" I rubbed my forehead. "Maybe?"

Vivi laughed. "Well which one is it, Erin?"

"Yes," I said finally. "I do. Don't get me wrong. He's big and scary but there's just something about him. It's in his eyes. He's…vulnerable."

"Vulnerable? Ivan Markovic?" Vivi practically guffawed. "You've never seen that guy fight. I hear he's a vicious beast, Erin."

"I don't doubt it but I'm not talking about his skills with his fists. I'm talking about emotionally. I think he's vulnerable that way."

"Aren't we all?"

Vivi had me there. "Yeah, I guess."

"You know I'm right. Look, I've got to go. I've got laundry to finish and I'm going in to work the morning shift tomorrow."