He’d always seen right through her. It was his so-called superpower in the FBI. If she told him she didn’t love him he’d know it was a lie. Because she did. Maybe too much. It was the trusting he wouldn’t hurt her again that she struggled with.
She couldn’t think straight when he touched her. “I’ll be right back.”
Meg slipped around him and practically ran to the master bedroom. She smacked the door closed behind her and crossed to the bathroom sink. After washing her face and blowing her nose, she sank onto the bed and held her head in her hands. Why wouldn’t everyone leave her alone so she could work everything out by herself?
Easy for all of them to say that he was just doing his job. They weren’t the ones who’d have to live with a man who’d lied to her since the day they’d met.
Her girlfriends were right. Trust didn’t come easy to Meg. But could she trust her heart, which was screaming that it wanted Josh’s love even if he’d probably hurt her again?
Even if she could forgive him the lying, her old worry that Josh would get bored in Anderson Butte and leave raised its ugly head again. And now she was committed to staying. But would she wake up one morning with a note on her pillow telling her he had to go?
If he up and left them, Haley would be heartbroken too.
She flopped onto her back and closed her eyes as tears leaked past her ears. What was she going to do?
After a few minutes, she got her emotions back in check enough to go tell her grandmother to leave. Meg needed some time to figure things out. On her own, without anyone’s help. Just like her father had said.
As she walked toward the bedroom door, she tossed the tissue still wadded up in her hand into the trash can. It landed on an envelope with her name on it.
Curious, she pulled the envelope out and went back to sit on the bed. It was Josh’s handwriting on the outside. The letter was addressed to her, care of Anderson Butte, Colorado.
Why would he have written her a letter?
She ripped it open and unfolded the slightly faded, handwritten note. It was written on lined yellow paper. The date on top was the day they’d broken up, three years earlier.
Meg,
If you’re receiving this, the worst has happened, but I couldn’t leave this world with you thinking I didn’t love you and our unborn child. I couldn’t tell you before, but I’m an undercover FBI agent. I had to leave to keep you and our baby safe.
My will leaves all I have to you, so you should soon receive a large sum of money to help raise our child. If not, please contact Agent Watts at the FBI and he’ll be sure you do.
I wish we could have watched our child grow together, but I take comfort in knowing you’ll be his or her fantastic mother. You’re the strongest, kindest person I know even though you’d be the first to deny it. My greatest hope is that our child will have your incredible spirit. I’ll miss that about you. You brought light to my dark when I needed it the most.
Maybe after reading this, you’ll be able to forgive me for falling in love with you at the worst possible time. But the short time we had together was the best of my life.
Love, Josh
He’d written the letter in case he got killed? The words swam with her tears as she read the letter again.
He thought she was a strong person? And a good mother before Haley had even been born? But was she strong enough to handle whatever might happen if she took Josh back and it didn’t work out again?
Josh evidently believed it.
He’d been doing his job and she’d gotten caught up in it. Just like Casey had said. He really did love her. He’d had no choice but to leave her.
And he had more faith in her than she did. She couldn’t argue with the hard proof she held in her hands.
He’d just sworn to her he’d never leave her and Haley again.
She folded the letter and tucked it into her pocket to keep.
Forever.
To remind her the next time her stupid insecurities made her doubt his love for her again, because she tended to do that. Maybe one day she’d get past that tendency, but for now his letter had been just what she’d needed to give her the courage to try.
Meg jumped off the bed and ran for the kitchen. She pulled what she was after out of the fridge and then made her way to the living room.
When Meg walked into the living room with her hand behind her back, Josh’s stomach clenched as he stood. “Did you decide what you want to do?”
“I think so. But I need to ask you a couple of questions first. Are you certain you can be happy living here, in such a small town and working for Zeke, long term?”
That she’d ask the question meant she was reconsidering. His knotted stomach muscles loosened a fraction. “I love it here. The way everyone knows everyone else. And I’d forgotten how much I enjoy mechanical work. Zeke has been wanting to retire, so he’s giving me the business to run. He’s also donating some land he owns just outside of town so I can start a summer camp for kids like Eric. I hoped you’d help me with that.”