I’m not the only one watching the clock. At precisely vingt et une heures – just as the numbers on my phone tick from 20:59 to 21:00 – I hear a sound that’s instantly recognizable: two light knocks, down low. My nerve endings jolt. Yesterday, I told Josh when to arrive but not where we’re going. Mainly because I hadn’t figured it out yet.
Three years of anxiety flood throughout my body. What if I’m wrong? What if this isn’t what I’ve always wanted?
What if it is?
I open the door.
Josh is knee-bucklingly sexy. It’s the first cool night of autumn, and he’s dressed in a striking wool coat. The collar is turned up in that self-confident yet unkempt way that only artists can pull off. I’ve seen him wear this coat before, this beautiful going-on-a-date coat, but this is the first time that he has worn this coat for me.
“Youlookamazing.”
But the words tumble from his lips, not mine.
I’m wearing a swishy dress, and my hair is in neat, pretty waves. My mouth is painted red. Maman once told me to place the boldest colour where I want people to look. I bite my bottom lip. “Thanks. You do, too.”
Josh tucks his hands into his pockets. His shoulders rise nervously.
My breathing is shallow. Like I can’t get enough oxygen. “So I thought we’d go to the Pompidou? They have an exhibition of this weird photographer from Finland. He’s supposed to be totally nuts, and I thought it might be interesting, but I don’t know, maybe that’s stupid, we can do something else if you want—”
“No.”
Blood rises to my cheeks. “No?”
“I meant we should go. That sounds cool.”
“Oh.” I swallow the goose egg that’s been stuck in my throat. “Okay. Good.”
There’s a long pause. Josh takes an exaggerated step to the side. “Unfortunately, you will have to leave your room.”
I laugh, and it sounds like I’ve been sucking helium. “Right. Been a while since I’ve been on one of these. A date. I forgot how they worked.” I close the door behind me, internally exploding with humiliation. We’re only two steps down the hall before my door jack-in-the-boxes back open.
Josh slams it shut with a move that’s both calculated and knowing. “Oh, man. It really is too bad that some asshole broke your lock.”
Finally, I laugh. Genuine and normal sounding. And then my date says the best thing that he could possibly say: “It’s okay. I haven’t been on one of these in a while either.”
My smile triples in size.
Josh grins. “Just give me your hand.”
“W–what?”
“Your hand,” he repeats. “Give it to me.”
I extend my shaking right hand. And – in a moment that is a hundred dreams come true – Joshua Wasserstein laces his fingers through mine. A staggering shock of energy shoots straight into my veins. Straight into my heart.
“There,” he says. “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that.”
Not nearly as long as I’ve been waiting.
Chapter nine
The Centre Pompidou is the modern-art museum, a huge box of a building that looks as if it’s been turned inside out. Its inner structure is exposed and colour-coded: green pipes for plumbing; blue for heating and cooling; yellow for electricity; and red for safety. The bold primary colours clash with the noble grey elegance of the rest of the city. For some reason, that makes me like it even more.
I wouldn’t have minded the walk here – my sushi place is right around the corner, not to mention the Treehouse – but Josh took one look at my heels and led me straight to the nearest taxi stand. I am wearing my tallest pair. He’s still over half a foot taller than I am, but I know I can reach his lips if he tries. I hope he tries.
The museum’s lobby is silver metal and blinding neon. As we pass the information desk, Josh takes my hand again. Our palms are sweaty. It’s heaven. We ride the crowded escalators up, up, up beside a wall of steel and glass. The glittering streets of Paris stretch all the way to the horizon. We talk about the shiny little nothings we see – people and cars and cathedrals, even la Tour Eiffel – but it’s not that we don’t have anything meaningful to say. The feeling is that we have everything to say.
And where do you begin with everything?
We switch escalators from level four to five, and I ride backwards on the stair above him. Our eyes are level. We’re laughing, I’m not even sure why, and he’s holding both of my hands now, and – suddenly – he’s leaning in.
This is the moment.
Josh hesitates. He second-guesses himself and pulls back. I lean forward to say the timing is right, I’m ready, let’s do this thing, and his smile returns and our eyes are closing and his nose is bumping against mine and – blip!