She wished she could have confided in Beth. Admitted that nothing was working out as she'd planned. That she felt stranded, and lonelier than she'd ever dreamed.
And threatened, she realised, as an image of Declan Malone's dark, unsmiling face forced its way into her mind. She'd made an enemy there that she didn't need.
She switched on the television and tried to interest herself in a detective series she usually enjoyed, but the twists and turns of the plot couldn't hold her attention tonight.
It was midnight when she finally came to terms with the certainty that Jeremy was not going to telephone after all.
And it was another hour before she eventually cried herself to sleep.
She felt tired and jaded the next morning, which wasn't how she needed to present herself at all, she thought, giving herself a mental kick. She was looking for a job, and she wanted to impress.
She dressed with extra care, choosing a dark grey suit with a faint pinstripe, a white shirt, and black pumps with a medium heel.
She would settle for temporary work to ease her immediate cash-flow situation, she'd decided, but she also planned to register with a couple of recruitment agencies. Try and capitalise on her computer skills.
Perhaps, when she and Jeremy were living together and settled, she'd freelance, working from home, she told herself, determined to be positive about their relationship.
After all, there could be a dozen reasons why he hadn't rung her last night. And she wasn't going to allow herself any more doubts, or fits of the blues.
But if she'd hoped to walk straight into the perfect job, she was disappointed. The first temp bureau she visited had a full quota already, she was told, and the second could only offer part-time work at rates that wouldn't even pay the rent, let alone feed her.
She was climbing the stairs to a third place when her phone rang.
'Livvy?' Jeremy asked. 'Darling, what on earth are you doing here? I could hardly believe my ears when I got your message.'
Olivia leaned against the wall, aware of a small, painful knot in her chest.
She said, 'Aren't you pleased?'
'I'm delighted, naturally,' he said quickly. 'But a bit stunned too. I mean, we didn't actually discuss this-did we?'
'Maybe I felt it was time for action rather than words.' There was a crack in the plaster beside her. It looked like the shape of a pregnant woman, she thought, tracing it with her finger. She said, 'When am I going to see you?'
'Well-tonight, obviously.' He paused. 'How about we meet for a drink when I finish work.'
'A drink?' she echoed, trying to fight down her instinctive dismay. 'But, Jeremy, we need to talk-make some plans.'
'Of course we do, and we will.' He sounded brisk. 'But I'm a bit pushed at the moment Now, there's a bar near Liverpool Street Station called Dirty Dick's. I'll see you there at five-thirty. Bless you, sweetheart. Must dash.'
Olivia switched off her phone and replaced it in her bag. It wasn't the reaction she'd been expecting, she thought flatly, but at least he wasn't angry about her gaffe at Declan's. And in a few hours she was going to see him.
She straightened her shoulders and continued her way up the stairs.
Just hearing Jeremy's voice on the phone seemed to have changed her luck, because the woman who interviewed her this time seemed friendly and upbeat about Olivia's chances of finding work.
'However, it won't necessarily be in this area,' she said. 'We have several branches, and clients all over London, and we deal with everything from large multinationals down to one-man bands. Do you drive?'
'Yes, but I don't have a car. Travelling doesn't worry me, though,' she said, mentally crossing her fingers.
'And you've no ties? No children to be picked up from school?'
'I'm not married.'
The other woman raised her eyebrows. 'What difference does that make these days?' She handed Olivia an application form. 'Complete these details for me, please, including a daytime telephone number where you can be contacted, and I'll have a placement for you by the end of the week-or earlier, maybe, if someone calls in sick.' She produced another form. 'And these are the agency's terms and conditions of employment Read them through, and sign at the bottom if you're satisfied.' She paused, and smiled. 'My name's Sandra Wilton. Welcome to Service Group.'
Olivia allowed herself a modest lunchtime celebration of a hot chicken sandwich and a diet drink, then set out to unravel the mysteries of the London Underground system.
By the end of the day she was confident enough to launch herself towards the City on the Central Line.
She found Dirty Dick's quite easily, hesitating for a moment over whether to choose the door straight ahead of her or go downstairs. She opted for street level, pausing just inside the door so that her eyes could readjust to the subdued lighting. It was a big room, with a long bar, a wooden floor, and barrels for tables.
It was already filling up noisily with dark City suits and briefcases, and Olivia paused, staring around her, trying to locate Jeremy.
She saw him at last, waving at her from the side of the room, where a shelf had been built along the wall, and equipped with stools for customers who preferred to sit.
Her heart leapt as she threaded her way through the laughing, chattering groups, but she couldn't help wishing that he'd come to her.
'Darling.' His arms closed round her, hugging her tightly against him. 'This is amazing. God, it's so good to see you. I've missed you so much.'
'I've missed you too.' Now that the moment of truth had come, she felt oddly shy. 'That's why I came.'
'My love.' His eyes caressed her. 'I wish this wasn't such a public place.' His smile was intimate-warming. He paused. 'I ordered dry white wine for you. I hope that's all right.' He handed her a glass, then raised his own. 'And there's only one possible toast To us.'
'To us,' she echoed, filling her eyes with him. He was wearing an immaculate dark blue suit, and his hair had been cut shorter than she'd seen it before. Almost severe. And, she thought fondly, he'd put on a little weight. But she wouldn't tell him that.
'So,' he said. 'Where are you staying and how long are you going to be here?'
'How long?' Olivia repeated uncomprehendingly.
'Well, yes, sweetheart. Have you got a week-two weeks?'
The wine tasted sharp suddenly, leaving bitterness in her throat.
She tried to laugh. 'Jeremy-I'm here for good. I-I thought you realised that.' She took a deep breath. 'I've got a bedsit, and I'm looking for a job.' She paused. 'Didn't Declan Malone tell you?'
'No, of course not. He just said you'd been to the house, asking for me,' Jeremy said slowly. 'Livvy, let me get this straight. You're telling me you've thrown up everything in Bristol and moved here? Without a word to me first?'
'I thought you'd be pleased.' Her voice faltered slightly. 'After all, it's what we always intended.'
'Yes, I know.' His voice held a touch of impatience. 'But not at this particular moment in time. It could cause-problems.'
Olivia stiffened slightly. 'With Declan?'
'He's certainly part of it' He grimaced. 'Thank God you were discreet when you went to the house.'
'What do you mean?' Olivia asked uneasily.
'I mean letting him think that we're old acquaintances from Bristol days, and you simply came round to look me up while you were in town.'
She thought in bewilderment, But I didn't-and he doesn't What's going on? What game is Declan playing?
She said quietly, 'Would it be so terrible if he knew the truth?'
'It could be disastrous.' Jeremy frowned. 'Listen, darling, I want a no-blame, no-hassle divorce, with a clean-break settlement. That's essential, believe me. If Maria found out about you-if Declan told her … '
His frown deepened. 'Well, she's a hotshot lawyer. Need I say more? She could string the whole thing out until doomsday-find all kinds of sticks to beat me with.' He gave her an intense look. 'Do you understand what I'm saying?'
'I think so.' Olivia put her glass down on the shelf. Now, if ever, was the time to confess that their secret was already blown, she realised unhappily. But she already knew that she couldn't risk Jeremy's anger. That she wasn't going to say a thing.
She said, 'So, you want me to keep up the pretence- maintain a low profile?'
He nodded. 'Just for a time, my sweet While I'm still living with Declan. You must see that I have to tread carefully.'
'Wouldn't it be better to find a place of your own?'
'Of course it would. And I am flat-hunting. But it's not that simple. I need something in absolutely the right area.' He paused. 'Where are you living, by the way?'
'Not far from you. I'm in Lancey Terrace with someone called Sasha.'
'That old witch,' Jeremy said disagreeably. 'How did you find her?'
She bit her lip. 'It was Declan. I-mentioned I needed somewhere to stay-temporarily.'