That was the only excuse she could make, and pretty pathetic it was too.
Because, in truth, there was no valid excuse.
And if Jeremy was furious with her, she would have no one to blame but herself.
She pushed back the covers and trailed into the kitchen to put the kettle on, only to be confronted by Declan's pink roses waiting for attention.
She groaned inwardly. She ought not to keep them, she thought, touching one delicate bud with a tentative forefinger. They were a dangerous reminder of something best forgotten. But they were just too lovely to throw away.
While waiting for the kettle to boil, she cut the stems and arranged the roses in a jug she found in one of the cupboards.
She showered and dressed casually in jeans and a sweatshirt She'd just finished breakfast when Sasha tapped on the door.
'Hello, darling. I just wanted to tell you that I've decided to have those panic buttons installed, and someone will be calling this afternoon. I don't think women living on their own can be too careful'
'Sasha-please don't go to extra expense on my account I'm not nervous-really.' Olivia spoke awkwardly. After all, she thought, she wouldn't be staying here much longer. She'd either be moving in with Jeremy or going back to Bristol to lick her wounds.
'It's just a precaution. I'm sure we'll never need them.' Sasha's gaze alighted on the jug of roses. 'Darling-how beautiful. Pink roses.' She sent Olivia a shrewd glance. 'You have an admirer.'
'Heavens, no.' Olivia forced a laugh. 'They're just a thank-you gift. I-I did someone a favour.'
'The first flowers I ever received from my beloved were pink roses.' Sasha spoke softly, her bright eyes glinting with sudden moisture. 'He said that crimson roses were the flowers of passion, but pink blooms meant true love that would last for ever. And so it was with us,' she added with a sigh.
'In this case, I imagine they were the last bunch left in the shop,' Olivia said crisply.
Sasha tutted reproachfully. 'How very unromantic, darling. Anyway, I came to say that if you're out this afternoon, I'M let the workman in.'
After Sasha had flitted away, Olivia found herself wondering again who the 'beloved' she referred to had been.
I must ask Declan, she thought idly, then stiffened. What am I talking about? That's the last thing I need. No more cosy chats under any circumstances.
It shocked her to realise how much personal information he'd extracted from her the night before-as if he was compiling a dossier, she thought darkly.
But she wasn't going to hang about brooding. It was another fine day and she was going to take some time off, start her sightseeing programme with a ride on one of those open-top buses. Apart from anything else, it might clear her head, she acknowledged with a sigh. Help her to decide what to do next in her working life.
She left her mobile phone behind quite deliberately. She'd deal with any messages when she returned, but while she was out she wanted no interruptions or hassle. Just a few hours totally to herself.
She shared the upper deck on her bus with a party of eager Japanese tourists, commingled with some Americans and a number of Australians too, feeling self-conscious because she wasn't festooned with the latest camera equipment.
But she enjoyed the trip round various famous landmarks, and her subsequent stroll along the Embankment She found a pub offering hot roast beef sandwiches, and accompanied them with a glass of the house red wine.
Then she caught a bus to Oxford Street, and spent an agreeable hour or two exploring the big department stores, planning the clothes she would buy when she was earning regularly, and testing scents and cosmetics. In the end the only purchase which tempted her was a slice of game pie and a selection of salads from one of the food halls, which took care of supper.
When she arrived back at Lancey Terrace, she found the security firm's van parked outside, so she walked on to the gate into the garden and let herself in.
The afternoon sun was warm on her back, but there was a hint of crispness in the air, suggesting that autumn was waiting.
Not that she minded. It would be good to see the back of humid, airless nights, and besides, autumn had always represented a time of new beginnings for her. School and college years started then. It was her birthday the weekend after next, and it had been September when she'd met Jeremy again.
Almost without being aware of it, she followed the path that Humph had taken the other day, and found herself in the little clearing with the sundial. She sat down on the bench, depositing her carrier bag at her feet, and flexing her toes inside her simple navy slip-ons.
It was very quiet in the garden today. She could barely hear the incessant traffic, and most of the residents who lived around it would be at work, of course.
As I should really have been, she reminded herself, with a touch of guilt.
She still hadn't come to any firm decision about what to do. Common sense told her that the job at Academy Productions was probably the best offer she'd get for a long time. But female instinct warned her to think again.
There was no disguising the fact that she found Declan disturbing. She'd been concerned to discover how many times he'd slipped insidiously into her mind that day. How many times she'd found herself wanting to share something with him-a thought-even a wry grin about her fellow tourists, and their determination to film every inch of their route.
She remembered almost breathlessly how his silvery eyes sparked with amusement-the way his mouth slanted into a smile. He'd been smiling when he bent to kiss her. She was sure of it.
In contrast, it was even more worrying that she'd barely thought of Jeremy at all. And yet he ought to have been her chief concern.
I should be going quietly out of my mind, she thought, frowning at the sundial. Wondering what Declan's told him. Figuring out if and how I can repair the damage.
Instead, she felt remarkably calm.
She couldn't pretend that she and Jeremy had enjoyed the ideal relationship since she'd arrived in London. Maybe she'd pitched her expectations too high, and bad beginnings didn't necessarily preclude happy endings, she told herself emphatically.
He's changed since we've been apart, she thought restively. He used to be so tender and gentle when we saw each other. So full of plans. Always talking about how it would be when we could be together.
Even when he knew he was moving to London …
That could have been Beth speaking, Olivia thought, biting her lip. Coming from herself, it was arrant disloyalty. Naturally he wouldn't discuss his plans while they were still in the melting pot. Although she couldn't deny it had been a shock when he broke the news.
Anyway, distancing himself from Bristol and all its as-sociations should have made things easier. But that was before he'd complicated matters by moving in with Maria's cousin, she reminded herself with a touch of bitterness. And before she'd messed things up further by renting a flat just round the corner.
In Bristol, it had been difficult to see each other as often as they'd wanted, she thought defensively. Most of their meetings had been stolen, and far too brief, although they'd spoken on the phone nearly every day. She just hadn't expected those difficulties to follow them to London. That was why she felt so disappointed and-restless.
We need to sit down together and talk, she thought Not in a crowded pub, when he's waiting to dash off somewhere-or a trendy restaurant, where we can't hear ourselves think-or even in the flat, where we could be interrupted at any moment.
She looked round the clearing. This would be the ideal place. Secluded, hidden, and so peaceful. She'd sit in the circle of his arm, her head on his shoulder, and they'd make their plans all over again. Recapture the old magic.
They said wishing could make it so, she thought wistfully. And maybe it could be true.
Olivia closed her eyes, letting the warmth of the sun play on her lids, trying to conjure up an image of Jeremy as he'd been only a few months ago, smiling at her, telling her that she was the only girl in the world for him.
She tried to capture him in her mind's eye, but he was elusive, and she couldn't see him clearly. But she felt that he was close, just ahead of her down some sunlit path, and all she had to do was follow. Follow …
Only the golden glow of the sun was in her eyes, dazzling her, and she couldn't find him anywhere.
And then suddenly she was back in the clearing, and Jeremy was beside her just as she'd wanted, making her feel so safe-so secure.
She felt his hand-or perhaps his lips-brush her hair, and she smiled, and said, 'I love you.' And forced open her heavy eyelids so that she could see him at last Fill her heart with him as he affirmed his love for her in turn.