After over hearing Blake and Zane talking about me moving in with Blake; I decide to take advantage of the fact that I’m lucky that Blake isn’t a dead beat, and agree with them. I am still not sure how this is all going to work.
“Are you ready?” Blake asks, as he carries all our bags down into his pickup truck.
“Yup, yes. I am ready,” I say, walking over to him. He comes over to pick me up and help me into the truck.
“Yeah no homeboy, I’ll walk. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He stops and looks down to me. “Vicky, don’t be stubborn and let me help you into the truck.” I pull myself up into my seat.
“See, no help. Save the caveman bullshit for Barbie sluts that need it. I’m a strong, independent woma—” he cuts me off by slamming the door. “Well, that was rude,” I mumble to myself as he gets into the truck. He looks over to me with a serious look on his face and eyebrows raised, daring me to say something back to him. I drop my mouth and shrug, “I’m not even mad.” He drags his eyes back to the front of him, pulling out onto the main highway. “This should be interesting.”
~*~
It has been one whole month since I moved in with Blake, and I have tripled in size. Living with Blake has been difficult at times, but he is never home anyway; the only times I see him is on nights when he gets home from “club business”. My little girl and I have our own room here, and I love it. Blake treats me well, as a loving caring father should; but that is where it ends, as a father.
I am sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and looking for apartments when Blake bursts through the door. Alaina has been making us all very involved with her wedding plans; she is turning into quite the bridezilla, so I assume it is about that.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask as he storms into the kitchen. I rub my tummy and get up off my seat, making my way over to see him. “Blake? What’s wrong?” Now I am thinking that it might be me as well; all the guessing annoys me, and is why I hate relationships. “Blake? Can you talk to me?”
He takes bottled water out of the fridge, takes a sip and then places it back on to the table. “When you are ready to know, I will tell you.”
I shut my mouth, biting down on the inside of my cheeks to stop me from answering back. He sits at the table, in the seat that I was just on, and looks down at the paper.
“What the fuck is this?” he asks, glancing down at the circles that are drawn around numbers for apartment complexes.
“I can’t live with you forever, Blake.”
He shoots up out of his seat. “Yeah, you can; you are having my daughter Vicky, and I want to take care of you both.” That is bullshit and he knows it.
“Blake, the only reason you care is because I am pregnant. Which is a good and bad thing; I have no doubt that you are going to make an amazing father, but I need to move on, I can’t just live here with you.” His face falls, and for the first time since I have known him, I think I see pain in his eyes. He sits back down in his seat and looks up to me.
“I’m sorry that we never worked out. I wish I could get into the details of why this cannot happen right now; but I can’t and I am so fucking sorry, because I fucking love you Vicky. I love you so fucking much that I am willing to let you go.” I look into his eyes, shocked by his confession, and all I see is that same pain. I drop to the seat in front of him and place my hands onto his cheeks.
“Talk to me, Blake. I have waited for you; I don’t know what else I can do to make you see how much I want this, more than anything.” He smiles a slow smile at me.
“One day I will tell you, and when that day comes, Vicky? I will never, ever let you go.” I drop my hands in defeat, I can see in his eyes that his decision is set in stone. I walk back to my room and begin packing up all my stuff, deciding that I will stay in a hotel until I get an apartment; there is no way I can stay here after that conversation. And to think we were doing well. He comes into my room, freshly showered with nothing but a loose pair of jeans on, his hair damp from his shower and his perfect, golden skin glistening from the water.
“What are you doing, Vicky?” He asks.
“I’m going to stay at a hotel. I can get an apartment quick, but I can’t stay with you until then.” I see his jaw ticking; he walks over to me and snatches my bag.
“There is no fucking way I am letting you stay at a hotel. You want to move into your own place? Fine. But you are staying here until then, and that is final.” I drop my arms in defeat.
“What are we doing, Blake? You just told me you loved me, I am so confused.”