“No. No, it’s really not Vick, Zane… I feel things for him, things I shouldn’t and—” She stops for a second to gather her thoughts, “—He’s never going to want anything to do with me when he finds out about all my shit.” I think she is wrong, I think Zane likes her just as much as she obviously likes him. Lucky for some relationships, they can be black and white; not mine though, oh no; mine has all sorts of colours splashed in and mixed together, causing fucking pain to even look at. She starts pacing just as we here a loud rumble of bikes shaking the walls of the bar. The door flies open and a very angry Zane comes strolling in. I see the look he gives Alaina, and it is interesting to see such an emotionally shut off man, have a soft spot for my friend.
After she explains everything to Zane, I notice the boys shuffle around on their feet a bit. I glance over to Blake; he mouths, “Are you okay?” I nod my head before going back to my seat, leaving them all to talking. I can’t stop thinking about what Blake was about to tell me. I peer over to the crowd in front of me while I am drinking my drink, when I hear a growl come from Zane. “Drop it Ade,” Oh dear, trouble in biker paradise? “Pack your shit Alaina, you have two hours.” She glares an evil glare at him and says “Snappy much?” before storming off. Yep, I have nothing to worry about as far as Alaina goes; she’s a natural with bossy dominant men, obviously. Once Zane has left the building to follow her, I swing my chair back around to face the bar. “I’ll get a Sauv, please,” I say to the old bartender. So much for drying out. The rest of the boys sit down at the bar as well, ordering drinks. Blake comes and sits down next to me. “Come, I need to talk to you,” he takes hold of my hand, taking me to a corner in the bar. I look over to the boys and see them looking at me knowingly, Harvey gives me a small smile and it looks like a smile of pity. Once we reach the booth, I look over to Blake and go to sit opposite him. Something is telling me, this cannot be good. “What are you doing? Come here,” he says, pulling me over to where he is so I am sitting across his lap. “What is it Blake? Just spit it out.”
Deceit and lies
One hundred thoughts are bursting through my mind. Does he have kids? Is he married? Does he lock people in his basement while performing sexual acts on them? You never know in this day and age, people are into some kinky shit. “Before I say what I’m about to say, I want you to know something. I had no idea I was going to have these kinds of feelings for you; you came into my life at full speed, causing me to crash off my track that I’ve been driving for so long,” he squeezes me into him before continuing. “I’m fucking sorry Vicky.” I look down at him from his lap. “Are you married?” He shakes his head. Well, at least I don’t have to kill him. “Zane was asked to take Alaina into protection, so a few months ago we set up this plan,” I swallow roughly, not wanting to look at him. “The plan was that I was to start seeing you in order to get to Alaina. I am fucking sorry Vicky, the feelings for you though—” I stand, pushing his hands away from me, beginning to walk backwards as he walks towards me. “You fucking used me? All of everything was a fucking lie?” I feel so embarrassed, how easy was I? I gladly and easily opened up to this man, thinking he was truly attracted to me. “Vicky, stop, as I said before the feelings I feel for you are very fucking real.”
“Fucking stop, Blake! Your word means nothing to me now; you lied, embarrassed me and shat on me. Forget it, just leave me alone and don’t contact me, ever.” I walk out of the bar, trying not to cry. I have never cried over a man before, but as they say, there is a first time for everything. Getting into my car, the strong face that I kept on while walking out of there begins to crumble before my very eyes; and a single sob slips out of my mouth. Bringing my hands to my face, I let go; every good feeling that this man has made me feel has just been ripped away from me and replaced with hurt, deceit and lies. I am shattered; he obviously meant a hell of a lot more to me than I gave him credit for. I hear a knock on my window and I look up to see him standing there. “Open the fucking door Vicky,” he tries yanking my door open. Great, now he has just seen you crying fucking tears over him. He looks manic with his pupils dilated; probably feeling a little guilty for what he has done to me, nothing more and nothing less. I can’t even be angry at him about the way I feel towards him; he has always made it clear that we were never going to be anything more. “Vicky, I fucking swear to fucking god, if you don’t open this door now, I’m going to smash your fucking window. Please baby, please don’t cry.” I wipe the tears away from my eyes, start the car and floor it the fuck out of there. I know I will never ever want anything to do with him after this.