Me: I cannot believe we have planned nothing to do this weekend… I’m getting an itchy liver, it needs alcohol.
Alaina: It is Monday, we can plan tonight over tacos but I am worried about that itchy liver… The future doctor in me says that’s a symptom for Primary Biliary Cirrhosis, but the best-friend in me screams too much alcohol.
Me: Do not cuss at me, never too much alcohol… You can diagnose me over tequila shots this weekend at The Point. We can start our weekend shenanigans there.
Alaina: Sounds like a plan.
I love Alaina like a sister; we have been best friends since we were eight, and have been inseparable since. Picking up my handbag, I make my way down our dorms and out to the car park, ready to get some stuff for dinner tonight. Getting into my car my phone dings again, I get all excited thinking its Blake, but only to look down and see Jesse’s name. Fuck.
Jesse: Hey Vick, are you back?
At this point, I don’t want to reply. Jesse and I were close; he was the missing piece to Alaina and me, and although she always told me not to sleep with friends, I didn’t listen… I wish I did, because now it’s all sorts of complicated. He doesn’t make it easier on me, either.
Me: Hey, yeah I am.
Jesse: Can we talk?
I laugh; there is definitely nothing I have left to say to him. He took our “relationship” too far and he knows it.
Me: Theres nothing left to say Jesse, could we just leave it now.
I put my phone back into my bag before I see another one from him, then I’ll have to open it and lose my shit on him. I set off to the store.
West beach is, I guess a small town. All beaches and sun, and I love it. My parents were raised here. So was I; but when my dad decided to leave my mother for a girl I went to school with, my mom moved to Paris to live the extravagant— as she would put it “widow” life. I love my mom; she is my rock and even though she is not around much, I know she will always be there for me. My dad is too, but I still have not decided whether I trust him again. Once you have seen your mom betrayed by the one man that was not supposed to let her down, your opinion of him changes. Well, mine did.
I am pulling all my grocery bags out of the boot ready to take inside, when Jesse runs up behind me. Fuck. My. Mother fucking life.
“Vicky, can we talk?” he asks, coming up into my personal bubble. I really wish he would just leave it alone. “What do you want to say, Jesse?” He takes one of the bags off me.
“I made a mistake, I’m sorry. Can we just be friends?” I shut the boot and turn to him.
“Friends? And you will be okay with that?” He looks around unsure, so I roll my eyes and make my way inside. I already know he is not all right with it.
“Just give me some time Vick, please. Fuck,” I keep walking as he runs up behind me. I love Jesse like a friend, but I really wish we never went there. Now the mere thought of having sex with him makes me sick to my stomach.
I am still scowling when we burst through the door, and I’m double stepping in hopes that I might leave him behind. “Hey guys, couldn't wait for you sorry, I needed a wine,” Alaina says as I put all the shopping bags on to the bench.
“I'm going to need more than wine to get me through this shit,” I mumble under my breath. “Have a good day?” Alaina asks, looking at me with her eyes wide and happy looking. I know she is just trying to put me in a good mood. “Just perfect,” I reply sarcastically.
Jesse has set me off in a bad mood; I just want Blake, he is all I want right now and being around Jesse makes me miss him even more.
I start on making tacos. I love cooking, pour me a good glass of wine with great music, and you will not see me for hours. Who am I kidding; it doesn’t even have to be a good glass of wine, but it definitely has to be good music. I give Jesse the lettuce and tell him to chop it up. He looks at me with his puppy eyes and for a second, I’m reminded as to why I was attracted to him in the first place; he is the all-American boy, harmless looking with ocean blue eyes. He is safe, and what I should be attracted to. Unfortunately, my body is a fussy bitch that prefers bad boys with tattoos, that ride Harleys and have secret clubs where you can have hot group orgies.
“I’m sorry Vick, give me some time?” He asks, looking at me with pleading eyes.
I soften towards him. “Okay, I’ll try,” I smile briefly at him. I want to try, if not for us, then for Alaina, because she loves the shit out of this kid.
Once I have made up our plates we go and join Alaina on the couch, sinking our teeth into the fatty goods; my next favourite thing to do— under having sex with Blake. I take a large drink of my wine. “So, I met someone during the holidays,” I decide to spit out in the spur of the moment, because I fucking miss him. I am also hoping it will help move Jesse along too. “What?” Alaina asks, taking a huge drink of her drink.