I remembered the night; it was the night Charlotte and I were doing tequila shots behind the bleachers at school. She had dared me to take shots from her belly but I thought it was more interesting for her to hold the shot glass between her thighs. Fuck she tasted so good that night. Don’t go there now, Edwards. FUCK FUCK FUCK. HOW COULD I LET THIS HAPPEN!! The temperature was rising in the room. Suddenly I felt my chest tighten, unable to swallow, unable to breathe, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I knew the signs. I was having a panic attack.
“You took advantage of me?!” I yelled as my panic morphed into anger.
She icily glared at me. This was the Samantha that emerged ever since we moved to Carmel. She was no longer the sweet girl I married in college, but I knew that was my fault, I brought this out of her. I felt a pang of guilt, I screwed this up big time. Fuck, what will my mom and dad say? What the hell will Adriana say? It occurred to me at this moment that I actually didn’t give a shit what they thought. It was Charlotte that was plaguing me, the hurt that this would cause. I eyed the vase sitting on the table, and with lapse judgment I whacked the fucking ugly piece of shit watching it smash against the wall into a million pieces, the flowers and water scattering all across the room. Samantha jumped in shock followed by a small whimper.
“Took advantage of you? YOU ARE MY HUSBAND, NOT HERS!” she shot back as her tears flowed down her face.
I froze. Not even a flinch. I knew she had suspected something. I just didn’t know how much she knew. My tongue was tied, there were no words I could say right now that could erase this moment. This was it, she knew. No turning back. No denying the truth. The moment I had dreaded since the day I fell in love with Charlotte had come, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. There wasn’t supposed to be a baby involved. The room remained silent. I buried my head in my hands unable to cope with the enormity of the situation.
“Samantha...” I didn’t know how to respond.
What would Charlotte think when she found out? I promised her I hadn’t touched Samantha since we began our affair. My stomach churned, I couldn’t lose her. No way could I lose Charlotte. I wouldn’t know how to live without her. The pain in my chest deepened as the possibility weighed heavily on my mind that she would walk out of my life for good.
“Anyways, I’m sure your little girlfriend will find out soon. Kaley Wilson was at the doctor’s surgery when I found out. We had a nice little chat,” she gloated.
Kaley Wilson, the little bitch, had made life hell for Charlotte. She was probably knocking on Charlotte’s door right now spreading the news. I needed to get out; I needed a chance to explain all this to Charlotte. She needed to know how sorry I was, that I didn’t mean to hurt her. My poor Charlotte, my heart sank knowing what was coming. The urge to protect her from the pain was the only thing I was determined to do.
The doorbell rang, much to my surprise as we weren’t expecting anyone. Samantha walked over to open the door; I heard the voices, recognizing them immediately. It was my parents and sister. I prepared myself for what was about to come.
“Hi son, Samantha called us over saying you had some news,” my dad said.
My mother leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. Her face excited, I knew she had suspected something, her life-long dream of being a grandmother finally being fulfilled. I couldn’t keep up the charade, the anger I felt right now was overwhelming.
“Please, Andrew and Emily, sit down.” Samantha led them to the living room, my sister grabbing Samantha’s hand, jumping up and down.
“Would anyone like a drink?” Samantha asked.
“We’re fine, sweetheart, please what’s the big news?” my mother questioned.
“Well I might as well get straight to the point. Alex and I are expecting a baby!” she squealed.
Adriana started jumping up and down, hugging Samantha, careful not to squeeze her. My mother, already crying, also stood up to hug Samantha. My father held out his arms to me, waiting for a response.
“Congratulations, son, I knew you had it in you.” He patted me on the back like this was the biggest achievement of my life. Achievement? Ha! More like biggest mistake of my life. I wanted to go to Charlotte, more than anything I had ever wanted in my life, the urge to close my eyes and make this disappear lingering in my thoughts.
“Alex, geez you could look happier,” Adriana whined.
“I need… I need to go for a run.” I walked into my bedroom, putting on my trainers. I left the house, my parents and Adriana still basking in the news. I put my headphones on, looking at my playlist. I needed something that reminded me of a happier time. I scrolled through my mp3 player finding the song that she added to my player much to my dismay was Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Jefferson Starship. I remembered laughing when she put that song on because all I could think about were mannequins coming alive but it was her favorite movie. Tonight it took on a different meaning. I ran hard through the forest, not letting my mind think about the baby.