Into the Light(38)

The baby wasn’t mine. How could it be his?

“Here is your boarding pass, sir. Flight 793 boards from Gate 11 in approximately thirty minutes.” She handed me all my documents and I walked away in search of my gate. Finding it, I sat at an isolated section of the lounge.

The baby wasn’t mine.

How could it be his?

Was she fucking him the whole time?

My Charlotte, my wife was carrying another man’s baby.

There was nothing but white noise in my head, but I sat here silently… still…numb, staring into space waiting desperately to board this plane.

The flight was bumpy, but what did I expect from a last-minute flight sitting in economy once again? I closed my eyes trying to drift off to sleep. The constant wail of an infant a few rows back left me no choice but to place the free headphones over my ears. With a little more peace I tried again, but of course I was unable to clear my mind.

The following week I spent remote fishing somewhere in the middle of Alaska. The town was small yet very accommodating. It’s amazing how sitting for hours on end with professional fishermen waiting for a bite could ease your troubles, that was until I knew I had to finally leave. The convention in Paris was four days away and my cell had been turned off for the entire time I was here. I only messaged Kate before I boarded the plane to tell her that I would not be contactable for the week. She replied with a simple “okay.”

I didn’t allow myself to think about her, it was like pouring salt on a wound. The questions went round and round in circles. On my last night before heading back to London, I did the inevitable and turned on my cell. The beeping didn’t stop for two hours straight even though the signal I was receiving was weak.

542 work emails.

17 texts from Adriana.

4 texts from my mother.

7 texts from Rocky.

1 text from Elijah.

1 text from my father.

0 from Charlotte.

The baby wasn’t mine.

I quickly scanned through the texts first. Adriana was in panic mode, my mother worried, and Rocky was worried at first but then started sending me videos of girls getting fingered by other girls; I had to admit I was slightly amused, but unfortunately they did nothing for me. Elijah sent me some Paulo Coelho quote about survival. My father’s words were simple; he told me to do whatever it is was I needed to do. It was odd. It’s like I expected him to tell me to man up and that he didn’t raise a pussy like me.

Dressed in business attire, a far cry from the awful-looking fishermen gear I sported only a few days ago, I made my way into the conference room and delivered my speech on autopilot when my name was called. With a round of applause I finished, my concentration on Victoria who was seated a few rows back. Of course she would be here, but I still hadn’t managed to speak to her since that infamous night in my suite. I walked down the steps and made my way to where she was seated.

“Come with me,” I whispered in her ear.

She followed my lead so I pulled her aside, away from prying eyes. I wanted to apologize for what happened but I also wanted to forget. The deserted hallway was perfect, I just needed to forget…to move on. I placed my hands on her blouse toying with her buttons. She pulled my hand away, gently.

“Lex...” her voice lingering. “You don’t want to do this.”

I looked into her eyes. She was wrong... I had to do this... I needed to do this, make me forget Victoria; make me forget that Charlotte is carrying another man’s baby. That I meant nothing to her, that she fucked him then she fucked me. Make me forget that she is tainted, that another man’s touch is engrained and growing inside her. Make me forget that we could never be together, that I will forever have to look at this baby and realize I was second best. Make me forget that Charlotte ever existed.

“Honey, whilst I would like nothing more than to have your cock in my mouth, this isn’t what you want. I’ve never been what you want.”

I was surprised by her words; was this reverse psychology? This wasn’t the Victoria I knew. I continued to stare at her oddly, her behavior throwing me off.

“We play this cat and mouse game but the reality is you love her. Lex Edwards actually loves another human being.” She laughed holding onto my chest. “Lex, go and make this right. This is not you. This is not the strong confident ballsy Lex that pushes my buttons beyond all recognition, who is also is a genius in the business world.”

“She doesn’t want me,” I mumbled with my head bowed, my confidence no longer present.

“That’s impossible. No one can resist Lex Edwards. Look at me.” I looked into her eyes, not knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. “You built this empire from nothing. You’ve fought in boardrooms with some of the most powerful men in the business world. You cannot lose this battle, because this battle will be your toughest but with the greatest reward at the end. You understand me?”