“I thought I was doing the right thing for our marriage. But no matter what it always comes back to her. I am so sick of living in her shadow. Do you know you talk in your sleep at night asking her to come back to you?! Do you know how it feels to be second best!” she screamed. “Rodney is different, he wants me. He wants our baby.” She had calmed down. Too bad I hadn’t.
“Fucking hell, Samantha, I LOST CHARLOTTE BECAUSE OF YOU!”
I went to my closet, changing into my jeans and sweater. I grabbed my overnight bag putting in some spare clothes. Leaning into the back of my closet, I rummaged around in my old football helmet. There, in a loose cavity in the lining, was the one thing I kept: a picture taken of her on prom night. I allowed myself after three months to finally look at the picture, my heart sinking as I didn’t expect the tsunami of emotions that came with seeing her face again, even if it was only a picture. Placing the final things in my bag, I walked out of the closet. Samantha was still sitting there on the bed sobbing.
“I’m so sorry, Alex,” she cried.
I walked over to her, my anger intensifying. I took my wedding ring off my finger and placed it on the bedside table. I left the house, knowing what I had to do.
I called my sister. I needed her right away. “Adriana, can you meet me at the airport in two hours? Bring your passport.”
“Yes, Alex.” She didn’t have to ask why. She was my sister and no one in the world knew me better than her.
Chapter 7
Charlie
They say if you love someone you’re supposed to set them free. What if it was the other way around? They set you free. Was I supposed to fly back? Or was I supposed to leave it up to fate? There was a high chance fate wasn’t on my side, my wings had been clipped and without them I couldn’t soar, couldn’t be free. This was me after Lex told me he was done.
The storm set in that night at the restaurant where I broke the heart of the one guy who actually loved me enough to want to be with me despite what I’d put him through. But it wasn’t fair, life wasn’t fair. Why didn’t I love Julian the same way I loved Lex? Life would have been easy then. Okay, so it wasn’t the love that set me on fire, but he was safe and solid. No past, no memories. But he deserved better than me, better than this rollercoaster I put him through. I did to him just what Lex had been doing to me. How could I cause so much pain when I knew firsthand how much it hurt to be treated like that?
It started to pour but I walked at a normal pace, the people around me scurrying for cover and looking at me like I belonged on another planet. But I didn’t care. It all felt so insignificant now. The cold rain drenching my barely covered body as the fabric of my dress clung to my skin, I shivered uncontrollably. As I entered my apartment, I made my way to the bathroom. Turning the bath on, I let the hot water steam up the room. I wiped the mirror with my hand to look at my face. My mascara had smeared under my eyes, my lipstick long gone, and my hair was a wild, tangled mess. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the hot bath, a small slice of heaven in a fucked up situation. Sinking down further I let it spread over my body. The warmth provided me with security for just a split second. But of course, the water slowly became cold and the reality hit me just as hard. I climbed out and made my way to the bedroom. Placing my pajamas on, I tucked myself in, willing myself to close my eyes.
It was the first night I cried myself to sleep.
The next day I did everything possible to keep myself busy. I went for a run, but without Kate it wasn’t the same. I did my laundry and my grocery shopping even though I had zero appetite. I cleaned my entire apartment and then watched three movies back-to-back hoping for some comedic relief. It was only 6 pm but I decided to go to Adriana’s early for the final fitting for my dress that she kept nagging me about. It wasn’t until about an hour ago that I realized I had promised Will I would watch the meteor shower with him on his rooftop at eight.
I welcomed the drive to Brooklyn, deciding to take my bike out. As I drove onto her street, I parked the bike, pulling my helmet off. Okay, Brooklyn wasn’t my favorite place to leave the bike, but I made friends with the thugs down the road last time I was here and they told me they had my back. Well, so far they did. I made my way up to her apartment and knocked on the door. Elijah answered the door but when he saw me his face looked panicked. I couldn’t blame him, I looked like fucking shit. There are just some things that makeup can’t cover!
“What are you doing here?” he asked, looking back into the living room.
“Fitting. Apparently I’ve lost weight and Bridezilla says I need to fatten up to fit back in the dress.”