“I think the damage has already been done.”
“No, I’m sure it can be sorted. He just needs to be honest.”
I decided I needed one more day to stay in and remain on the down low. Kate left to get her day sorted. We agreed to go out with Eric tonight and when Eric takes you out it means you will be hung-over all weekend. I shook my head trying to wash away the nauseating feeling that was nagging me. There was something I needed to sort out.
That evening she walked into her kitchen and I managed to smile at her. In typical Bulls fashion she gave me the stern look before I broke down crying. She instantly held onto me and I cried because the weight of it all was too much. We went into the den where she sat me down, not saying a word.
“I’m sorry, Bulls. The words I said to you... I didn’t mean it. I was just so angry.” She remained silent allowing me to speak. “This was the final straw. He proved to me once again he can’t be trusted. I will never be the only one in his life no matter how much he tells me he loves me. I’ve been down this road before and no chance in hell do I want to feel that pain again. I’m better than this; I know I’m better than this and I deserve someone better than this...like Julian.”
“Charlie, I’m not taking his side, okay, but have you stopped for a moment and thought about the possibility that this is fabricated? You’re not dealing with some hick town country boy anymore. He is a billionaire. He has paparazzi following his every move. Stuff like this was bound to happen, there’s always some slut trying to ride his coattails and make a quick buck.”
“You can’t possibly believe that, Bulls?”
“Do you remember a few years back when that photo of Rocky was published in that trashy rag and it looked like he was getting a blow job from that skanky cheerleader? Do you remember how upset I got and the words you said to me?”
“Yes. I said there’s an explanation for everything and that you needed to trust the man who made vows to be with you till death do you part. I don’t even know him anymore.”
I said those words…I made those vows.
“Charlie, what’s really got you bugging that you can’t forgive him?”
It was now or never. I had to talk because it was the only way to set it free. I took a deep breath ready to pour my heart and soul out to her. There was a rapid knock on the door before Rocky burst in.
“Sorry, babe, Will’s really sick. He just puked up again.”
Bulls rushed out of the room and I followed quickly behind her.
“Mommy, I don’t feel good,” he cried. She wrapped him in her arms and sat him on her lap next to the toilet bowl. Grabbing a cool washcloth, I knelt down and wiped his forehead.
“Honey, was it something you ate?”
“Jerry and Simon both went home yesterday because they vomited on the playground. Mrs. Jackson went home today because she said she had an upset tummy.”
Oh great. The stomach bug had officially entered the zone. I spent an hour with Bulls and Will before deciding to head back home. I promised Bulls we would catch up over the next few days. She apologized but I totally understood. He was her world and she was the type of mom any kid would be lucky to have.
…
“Seriously Charlie, fluorescent pink?”
“Yes, Kate. If I have to wear fluorescent yellow then you have to wear pink.”
“And the whistle?”
“Eric said you had to wear these colors and a whistle around your neck. I don’t know the protocol of the gay scene,” I huffed. “Okay, listen, I need to take a shower. Eric should be here any second now. In the meantime, make sure you put on the dress and whistle or he’ll feed you to the gay herd and let me tell you it’s not pretty.”
I closed the bathroom door and took a nice long hot shower. Maybe a bit too long, as I stood there, my mind wandering to how long it had been since Lex touched me last. Yeah, like five fucking days. I thought about Bulls words. Okay, so part of me was coming round, but fuck, it was Friday night and I wasn’t going to spend it wallowing or masturbating in the shower over someone I couldn’t have. I quickly got dressed and examined my face. Fuck, I had lost weight and the bags under my eyes were evident. I put my makeup on with dark eyeliner, more so than usual to hide the circles. I placed my hair in a high side ponytail and adjusted my strapless dress. I was ready to hit the gay scene. Oh wait, my shoes and whistle. I left the bathroom in search of these two most important items.
“Oh, hey, so I’m glad you were in the shower, you would have just encountered the beast.”
“Who? Your boss?” I asked amused.