“You first,” she said.
“No, you,” I shot back.
“Scissors paper rock?” She held out her hand and we shook until we both got scissors; how ironic, I thought, stabbed in the heart, it was an omen. On our second attempt she beat me.
Fuck.
She sat there staring at me, maintaining eye contact.
“You’re doing that lawyer thing you do in court, it’s freaking me out and turning me on.”
“It’s my coping mechanism because somehow I don’t think I’m going to like what I hear, and don’t try turning on the charm.”
I took a deep breath and with my eyes never leaving hers, I told her everything that happened that night with Montana. When I finally finished, I waited in silence for her reaction. I expected her fist in my face, not for her to hurt me with words.
“I’ll tell you what happened with Julian. He reminded me of how good we were together. He asked me to leave you and I thought about it. I remembered how once a upon a time my body craved him and gave into him and there he stood, right next to me, offering to love me the way I deserved to be loved, and I thought about it, Lex. I thought about giving myself to him that night.”
The stabs were sharp, each one of them cutting through the scars that were healing and ripped them open. My body tensed, my adrenaline spiked and my throat went dry, unable to say what I needed to say.
How the fuck could she want another man?!
I didn’t know what was worse, my physical indiscretion or her emotional one. They were on par; we were both hurting because of what we did to each other. It didn’t make it better that she didn’t touch him, it fucking hurt like mutha fucking hell that she had a moment of wanting him for the rest of her life.
“It’s done, Lex. Now, tell me how strong our marriage is.” Her eyes fixated on mine, I could see that she prayed that we could get through this. Restore all faith in humanity.
“You’re a bitch for wanting him.”
“You’re a cunt for touching her.”
“I hate that word,” I gritted.
“Used sparingly, for occasions like this,” she rebutted.
Emotionally exhausted, I wanted the book closed on this. “So what happens now, Charlotte?”
I wanted her, I needed her at this moment. My eyes penetrated hers, attempting to cast that so-called spell she claimed I did every time I looked at her. C’mon, eyes, you can do it…make her see the light.
“Now, we fuck harder than we have ever fucked each other in our lives. I need to claim you just as much as you need to claim me… you got me?”
I put on a huge grin; despite this mess I created, my fucking girl made me smile. Best yet, I get to fuck her so hard and mark her as mine again.
“I got you…and I’m never letting go of you. Obsessed together forever.”
“Obsessed together forever.” She smiled.