"Enjoy chivalrously jerking off later," he says, patting me on the shoulder before he leaves.
I watch her have a good time. She's not afraid to laugh, that's for sure. She's also not afraid to be loud and speak her mind. I really, really like both of those things.
I've never had such a good time being this far away from a girl before. I also love how she knows I'm watching her and pretends she's ignoring me. I told her I was going to leave, but that was a lie to see what she would do. I just like winding her up.
Like last week, she comes over to the bar by herself, but this time, she comes toward me on purpose.
Things slow down and everything around her melts away and blurs. Luminous. That's the perfect word for her.
"Hello, Freya. Nice to see you again," I say as if we didn't just talk a little while ago. She arches one pale eyebrow and leans one forearm on the bar. Her shirt is low cut, and it makes me swallow hard. I've seen her in less than what she's wearing now, but that doesn't make it any easier.
"I thought you had other plans," she says. Something resembling a smile plays on her lips, and I'm hit (not for the first time) by how much I really want to taste her mouth. Her lips look soft, and tonight she's wearing a red lip stain. It makes her skin seem even paler and her eyes glow.
"Hmm?" I say, because I completely forgot what she asked me. She's so damn distracting. Too much pretty in one girl.
"I said, I thought you had plans." I sip my beer and pretend to be cool, calm, and casual. Normally, I can pull it off.
"Plans change," I say, shrugging and leaning down so our faces are closer.
"Do they?"
I nod.
"They do."
I'm not sure why she came over here but I'm glad she did. Even if we're just standing here with silence between us. I like being around her, in any capacity.
To think that eight days ago I didn't even know she existed.
"You're staring," she says.
"So?"
She looks away from me and back toward her friends. Tobi gives her a little wave and then turns her eyes to me, and I get a glare and an I'm-watching-you face. I'm not offended that Freya has such protective friends. It's a good thing she has people who care for her and look out for one another.
Sighing, she crosses her arms.
"So, it's annoying."
"Am I annoying?" I fight the urge to laugh.
"Yes, you are. Constantly, incessantly annoying." Her words say one thing, but her posture says another. She's leaning toward me, and her eyes are whispering words she can't say out loud.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." She huffs, but uncrosses her arms.
"Whatever," she says. "I don't even know why I came over here."
"Me neither. Why did you?" She opens her moth to answer but then slams it shut again.
"I don't like you," she says, pointing her finger at me.
"Fair enough."
She turns her head slightly to the side like she does when she's pondering something. It's fucking adorable.
"Not much bothers you, does it?" I think about that for a second.
"No, not really. I guess I just don't sweat the small stuff, to borrow a cliché. There's enough shit in the world to actually get upset about already." I'm very close to telling her way too much about myself, so I need to shut my trap. Jem doesn't even know much about me, and I like to keep it that way. Being attracted to Freya is one thing. Sharing all my shitty secrets with her is something else completely.
She ponders that for a moment and then nods.
"Okay."
"Did I pass?" I ask.
"Pass what?" A drunk guy bumps into her, and she lurches forward and into my arms. I catch her and she gasps a little. Her eyes go wide as she looks up at me. I'm finding it a little hard to breathe myself.
"Your test. I always feel like I'm trying to pass a test when I'm around you." I shouldn't have told her that. I really don't want her to know how much she affects me. It freaks me the fuck out, to be honest.
"I . . . I don't know," she stutters and then pulls away from me, blinking a bunch of times as if she's trying to clear her head. "I don't know," she says again.
Taking a step backward, she bumps into someone else, turns around, and almost flees back to her friends on the dance floor.
I don't even know what happened. I never seem to know what's happening when she's around. It's like my world tilts on its axis and everything I once knew isn't true anymore.
Being with Freya is like falling down the rabbit hole. I don't know if I'm ever going to find my way out, or if I even want to.
4
Freya
I finally finish unpacking my stuff. I pause when I get to the folder with the bits of paper in it that changed everything. Just a simple green folder with a whole new life inside it.