"You don't have to tell anyone anything. You're not obligated." She nods.
"I know. I guess I want to share everything with her? But I should probably tell Mia and her family first. Seeing as how they're the ones I've been lying to the longest."
"You're not lying. You were protecting yourself."
"I guess." She gives me a tiny smile. "Still."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Including being my girlfriend." Her smile grows.
"But I like being your girlfriend. It's pretty fucking awesome." Those words make me feel like I could lift one car in each hand. It's incredible how those simple words can make me feel.
"Being your boyfriend is pretty fucking awesome."
"Good," she says, wiping her eyes again. "Do you want to know something else?"
"I want to know everything about you." I tuck some of her hair behind her ear.
"I think I love you."
My heart stops. "Isn't that a song?" She smacks me in the chest.
"I don't know, but that's not the reaction you're supposed to have when your girlfriend tells you that she loves you for the first time, asshole." I laugh.
"You love me and you just called me asshole. Those are some mixed messages." She groans.
"Shut up and kiss me." I put my hand on her face.
"I have one thing to do first."
"What's that?" Her smile is luminous.
"I love you."
"Really?" Her voice squeaks.
"Yeah." I stroke her cheek and I'm pretty sure my heart is going to burst out of my fucking chest.
"Good." Our lips meet and I can't believe that this is my life right now. I definitely don't deserve her, but she's here in my arms and I'm gonna hold onto her as long as I possibly can. Or at least as long as she'll let me.
Seeing as how I'm kind of an asshole.
18
Freya
"I'm freaking the fuck out, Rhett," I say. I'm holding his hand so hard that I'm pretty sure he's got at least two broken fingers at this point.
"I can tell," he says, kissing the side of my head. We both decided that meeting in a public place was the best course of action, so we're at the same diner where Rhett and I had pancakes the first time. Seemed as good a place as any. Plus, there are witnesses.
Rhett and I are in a booth with full view of the door. Every time in the past ten minutes that it's opened, I've nearly strangled him. But she's not here yet.
"What time is it?" I ask, not taking my eyes off the door. I know other people around us are probably staring and wondering what the hell is wrong with me, but I don't give a fuck. I'm meeting her today.
We exchanged a few emails and I've printed them out so I can physically have them always. I put them in the green folder with the rest of my documents. Rhett asked me if I'd like a fireproof safe for my next birthday. Most romantic present ever. I hope he also gets me some ice cream.
"Five minutes," he says and tries to touch my hair, but I flinch away.
"Seriously, don't touch me right now. I can't handle it." I know I've been kind of a bitch today, but he's given me a pass.
"It's going to be okay. She'll be here." This is like waiting for a date to show up. Only ten thousand times worse.
"What if she doesn't come?" I ask just as the door opens again and a woman enters. A woman with hair the exact color of mine. The oxygen leaves my lungs and I'm frozen in my seat. Time stops.
And then she turns and sees me. Our eyes lock and she smiles. It's my smile. I don't need to see a picture of my own face to know that.
"Oh my God," I say as she slowly walks over. Rhett helps me get to my feet. She's taller than I am. Taller than I am and willowy. She's easily one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen in my life. And I don't think I'm being partial.
"Freya?" she says. There are tears in her brown eyes. Different from mine, but so much about her face is so similar to the face I see in the mirror every day.
"Hi," I say, my voice catching. She takes a shaky breath.
"Can I give you a hug?" I nod and step into her arms. She smells like expensive perfume. Just . . . just exactly like I'd expect her to smell. One of her hands strokes the back of my head and then she pulls back so she can look at me.
"You're so beautiful," she says, wiping tears from my cheeks.
"So are you," I say. Rhett hands us both tissues. I don't want to let go of her.
"Should we sit?" she asks and I reluctantly step back as we slide into the booth. But she puts both hands on top of the table and reaches out to me.