His hands were on me, he was over me, and his eyes were boring into mine. The same eyes I'd seen nearly every day of my life, and the thought of not seeing them every day for the rest of it seemed unimaginable.
So I did the only thing I felt right about doing.
I leaned up and I kissed him.
I must have caught him off guard because at first he didn't move. For just a split second I worried I'd made the wrong decision. But then, then, he kissed me back. His hand moved to the back of my neck, holding me to him, and his tongue swept in, tasting me.
It was so much better than I remembered.
Suddenly, his arm was beneath me again and he was pulling me under him fully. My legs spread open to accommodate him, and he laid his weight on me. It was glorious. His hands were reacquainting themselves with me, running freely over my arms, my stomach, my thighs-as if they had no idea where to start and couldn't make up their minds.
When his teeth caught my bottom lip a moan escaped me. My breaths were coming faster, and my body felt as though it was about to ignite. His hips were resting between my thighs and my hands came to his waist, fingers seeking the hem of his shirt and smoothing up the warmth of his bare back. They were trembling, but I ached to feel him.
His mouth moved down my chin, pressing kisses down my throat, his hands bunching up the fabric of the shirt I wore.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked against the skin of my neck.
"No," I rasped. I pulled up on his shirt, trying to get it off him, and watched with fascination as he reached behind him and tugged on the back of his shirt, removing it in that sexy way guys did. Then, without hesitation, I sat up and pulled my shirt off as well.
His eyes went straight to my breasts and something about the way he looked at me, with so much lust and love swirling together, had every part of me tensing. His lips came back to mine, and his hand smoothed over my breast, as he gently pressed me back into the mattress. This time, though, my legs wrapped around his waist as I tried desperately to bring every part of him closer.
He read me perfectly and ground into me, his erection pressing perfectly against my core, causing another moan to rip from me, disappearing into his mouth. My hands slid down his back and when I met the elastic of his basketball shorts, my fingers slid under, my hands palming his ass.
"These need to come off," I said. He grunted, his mouth moving down my throat only to have his lips latch onto my nipple, sucking me in, his hand palming my other breast. "Hayes, please," I rasped.
"Tell me what you want," he said between flicks of his tongue against my nipple and a long, hard suck that sent electric shocks straight to my core, making everything between my legs clench.
"I want all of you," I managed. He pulled back and my breast popped out of his mouth just as his gaze met mine. He moved lower, eyes never leaving mine. He gripped the edges of my basketball shorts and pulled them down, leaving me only in my underwear.
The night before I'd been wearing a tiny dress that called for even tinier underwear. Even though they bordered on uncomfortable, the look on his face at that moment, as his eyes perused the black scrap of lace covering me, was worth every moment of underwear misery.
"Holy fucking shit, Kenz. You're perfect," he said as his hands moved up my calves, slowly spreading me open. "Just like I remember."
I giggled at his response, loving the way simply the sight of me seemed to undo him. But my laughter stopped immediately when he ran his hands all the way up my thighs and up the crease of where my legs met my hips, framing my sex with his hands. His thumbs slipped under the soaked lace, causing a breath to shudder out of me. He rubbed me up and down, slowly dragging his thumbs against my already over sensitized core, his hands pressing my legs farther and farther apart until I thought I would burst from being so completely bared to him. The tiny panties I wore could hide hardly anything from him.
Finally, he grabbed the sides of my panties and pulled them down my legs, peeling them off me and tossing them to the floor.
"Now, you," I said, trying to sit up, wanting to get him just as naked as I was. But he had other plans. He wrapped his hands around my ankles, yanked me down the bed until my ass was on the edge of the mattress. I watched as he carefully placed each of my legs over his shoulders and brought his mouth down to me.
Just before his lips touched my skin, he said, "We'll get to me later." His breath ghosted over my hot center and then his tongue followed, taking one slow and leisurely lap up my middle. I made a high-pitched noise that wasn't really a word, but just the sound one makes when so much pleasure and sensation rocket through you. I couldn't speak, but I couldn't stay silent either.
I continued to make those nonsensical, whimpering noises as his mouth worked my sex. He licked, sucked, and kissed me like he'd been dying to do it ever since he'd left. Like it was his fucking job. I'd been with a few guys since Hayes, but not one had I allowed to go down on me. It was too personal, too intimate. Watching Hayes work his tongue over my clit, his eyes trained on mine, was a level of connection I'd never had before. He was playing me like a fucking instrument, determined to get that last note right, to make the song perfect, no matter how long he had to practice.
My fingers wound through his hair and my hips arched up to meet his mouth. He groaned against me, the vibrations sending a whole new wave of arousal over my body, and it was too much. My eyes closed, my mouth opened, and my head fell back. The rhythm of my hips was met by the lashing of Hayes's tongue. I held him to me, finding that perfect combination of his mouth and my hips, and moments later I came apart.
I was loud. I was practically feral. His hands came around to hold me down by the belly, and I cried out until my orgasm waned. As I came down, it was to the slow and measured laps of his tongue through my sex. With each pass over my clit I shivered, too sensitive not to. Finally, after the last spasm passed, he kissed me all the way from my core up to my mouth, taking the long route and making sure to cover as much ground as possible.
When his lips finally connected with mine, it was a slow and lovely kiss. I tasted fantastic on him.
"That was the most gorgeous and beautiful orgasm I think anyone's ever had," he said quietly as he pressed even more kisses down my throat.
I didn't have any words in that moment, but I knew what I wanted. I pressed on his shoulder, pushed him onto his back, and climbed over him. I moved down his body and grabbed the basketball shorts and his underwear, pulling both down his body, off his legs, and left them in a pile on the floor.
I climbed back toward him and at the same time he sat up, snaked an arm around my waist, and scooted backward until he was leaning against the headboard. I straddled him again, this time with nothing between us.
"Hey," he said softly, using his hand to push my probably crazy hair out of my face and tuck it behind my ear.
"Hey," I replied, smiling.
His hand moved back to cradle my neck and the arm around my waist tightened around me, bringing me closer. His cock was hard and hot between us, but he seemed focused on my eyes.
"This doesn't have to go any farther today, Kenz," he whispered. "I want you, all of you, but I can wait. I can wait as long as you need."
"Are you going to disappear again?" I watched him closely as I asked the question, not knowing what kind of reaction I'd get, but hoping it was going to be one I could live with.
His hands on me tightened and he brought my face even closer. "I'm not going anywhere again until you tell me to."
I took in a deep breath, trying to find the courage to leave everything out in the open, to find the strength to risk my heart one more time, hoping the payout would keep me safe.
"What if I'm looking for forever?"
His eyes darted back and forth between mine, but he never wavered as he said, "What if I told you you'd already found it?"
"Promise?" I asked, my voice more frantic than I'd hoped for. "Hayes, if you're not in this, not ready for a relationship, then please, walk away now before-"
"McKenzie, I love you. I always have. I always will. What kept us apart before, it's gone. Done. There is nothing in this world that is going to stop me from being with you. All you have to do is say yes."
I had no words. He'd said exactly what I'd been praying to hear for three years and nothing in that moment could have stopped my mouth from pressing against his.
The kiss started out reverent and grateful. I was worshiping his mouth, thankful he'd found a way back to me. But it slowly morphed back into the frantic kissing where hands roamed everywhere and I simply needed to have him inside of me.
I reached down between us and took him in my hand, my forehead resting on his shoulder. He was just as beautiful as I remembered. I circled my hand around him, moving up and down his shaft, loving the way his breath hissed out and shuddered back in.
"Babe," he rasped, his voice simply shattered. "Condom, top drawer," he said, nodding toward his nightstand.
I pulled it open and blindly rummaged through it until I felt the foil wrappers, then immediately brought one to my mouth, carefully ripping it open. I leaned back and then slowly rolled it down his shaft. With a loud breath he brought a hand between us, positioning himself as I leaned up on my knees. My hand met with his and together we guided him to me. I slowly lowered myself down, trying to concentrate on the way it felt to be full from him, to have him inside me after so long. His hands slipped around my waist, then ran up my back to my shoulders, curling around the tops, and pulling me down so very gently, until he was fully seated inside of me.