"I'm sorry. But just don't, okay?"
She nodded, turning her gaze back to the road.
*~*~*
When we got back to my place, Avery followed me into my bedroom and looked on nervously as I started stripping off my clothes.
"Maybe I should go."
"No." I wasn't going to let her leave and distance herself from me. I'd make her understand there were things I couldn't tell her.
"Can we talk about it?"
"No." I pulled down my boxer briefs. She looked away.
"If you can't open up to me, then I can't stay." She tried to walk to the door, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her. Her back pressed against my naked chest; my cock pressed to her ass.
"I don't want to talk." I kissed her neck. She shivered. "I don't even want to think. I just want to fuck." I kissed her shoulder as I pulled down the zipper of her dress.
"Can you help me forget, Avery? ‘Cause I really need that right now."
"This won't solve anything." Her tone was stony, but she melted into my hold.
"I know." I wasn't looking to solve anything tonight. I was trying to lose myself. Her dress slid off her shoulders and tumbled to the floor. I picked her up and carried her to the bed. She scooted back and watched as I rolled a condom over my cock. I wanted to bareback her so bad, but this wasn't the time. She held a hand against my chest when I crawled over her, holding me off so she could get the last word.
"You're going to have to let me in sooner or later."
"Later." I pushed away her hand, pulled down her bra, and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth. She arched into me, moaning and writhing. This I could handle. I'd lick, suck, and fuck her all day if possible. But when I thought about talking to her about my past, all I saw was her walking out the door, and that wasn't an option. I tore her panties off then slid a finger across her wet slit and watched her come apart, grinding into my hand as she whimpered softly. I swallowed up her soft pants, plunging my tongue into her mouth.
My cock was hard, and I needed to own her. It was wrong to pull her into my shit, but I was a selfish bastard, and I needed her. I wanted to embed myself so deep in her she'd never be able to get rid of the imprint I left there. I rubbed my cock against her wet cunt, made her beg me for it.
"Please … "
She made the sweetest sound as I pushed into her. I slung her legs over my arms, smothered her with my body so she'd feel me everywhere. Her nails dug into the back of my neck, seeking purchase as I fucked her into the mattress.
I had this fierce ache to keep her clawing in me. Somewhere along the line she'd become mine. Her pussy was hot, wet, and gripping me, but I focused on her. Her facial expressions, the sounds she made, the desperate way she pushed into my thrust. I sucked on her neck, needing to leave a lasting memory on her skin. She bucked and hollered. "Xander! Oh fuck … Yesss!"
Her pussy clamped down on my cock. Her orgasm rippled through me, pulling mine from me. It jarred me as I spilled into her. It was a rough, dirty claiming, but it was what I needed to feel like I was on solid ground. The oddest part was I went in trying to claim her, and I was pretty sure she'd just claimed me. I fell over her-shuddering-my hips jerking involuntarily as her clenching pussy wrung out the last drops of my orgasm.
It seemed like hours passed before I pulled out, tied up the condom, and tossed it into the trash. When I returned, I tucked her beneath me and within minutes fell asleep.
Somewhere along the line, I felt her wiggling out from under my hold. I reached out and caught her wrist as she stood. She looked down at me and tried to pull free. "I'm just going to the bathroom."
"Don't you fucking leave me," I mumbled, still half asleep. She nodded and I reluctantly released her, dozing off.
House of Cards
Avery
It was 2:08 in the morning when I got home. I pulled open the front door, pushed it shut behind me, and kicked off my shoes. I sank onto the chair in the entryway and buried my face into my hand.
I was reeling-completely off course and out of control. I couldn't come to grips with my Susan being Xander's mom. All these years and I never pried into her life, never asked details about her kids and a husband. She was always so vague-never giving away any names. It was always my son or my husband. I was so grateful for all she'd done for me I never pushed for more.
The feeling that something was being kept from me increased when Ian showed up. I didn't need to be told he was Xander's brother, because the resemblance was uncanny. The only thing that set the two apart was that Xander was stockier, and Ian had more of a dirty-blond thing going on with his hair. Something awful was brewing in that family, and I was afraid to find out the truth.
I'd let Xander in, and I couldn't handle being betrayed by people I trusted. Even Susan had been different that afternoon, nervous and scared-almost like Xander and me being together was her worst nightmare. She went through a lot of trouble making sure I didn't know who her husband and children were. I just couldn't figure out why.
I heard a car pull into the driveway and looked up in time to see headlights turn off. I hoped it was Ellie. She'd been coming home more often-albeit really late-but at least she came home now. I looked up with the knock on the door and stared straight at Xander through the see-through glass portion. He stood there, hands in the pockets of his jeans, hair all bedraggled, and a deep frown marring his face.
I watched him, not sure if I should let him in, because the further I let him into my life, the deeper he could hurt me. He nodded his head toward the door, signaling me to let him in, but I couldn't move. It was in my nature to help people, to get them to open up to me. Xander was a sealed vault, and if he couldn't let me in, then why should I do the same for him?
He removed a hand from his pocket and ran it through his hair, turning his back to the door. He stood there-frozen-much like I was. This thing between us was so unexpected that it had shaken us both. One thing I knew for sure was if I opened that door, my heart wouldn't be far behind. It was the turning point. The point where I'd be able to walk away without being too hurt, or the point where I opened the door to everything that was Xander-including accepting he had secrets. Secrets that haunted him at night and made his family anxious.
He walked down the short flight of steps and went to stand next to his car. He didn't get in. He just leaned against the car, staring at my front door, his head hung low and his hands stuffed in his pockets.
My brain told me to turn away, but everything else in me screamed at me to open the door, and it wasn't long before I listened. I unlatched the door and stepped back in, waiting for him. He stared for a few moments. It seemed he was fighting the same battle with walking away. In the end he gave in, much like I did, and walked through the door. He looked totally unsure and defeated. When he stopped a few inches from me and looked me in the eyes, his green irises were more like a stormy gray in the dim lighting. His hands were still buried in his pockets and he looked almost afraid to try to touch me.
"Why'd you leave?" His voice was a raspy whisper. I knew I told him I wouldn't, but I'd needed space.
"You'll never let me in."
"I will. You just have to give me time." He finally took his hand out of his pocket and ran it down his face. "Let me do this when I'm ready."
"Will it hurt me?"
"I just want you to see the good in me before I tell you the ugly."
I reached out and touched his face, the growth on his chin scratching against my palm. "I already see the good. Whatever ugly thing that's in your past doesn't negate what you are now."
He snorted. "I'm going to hold you to that."
He reached out and hooked an arm around my waist, pulling me in and covering my lips with his. The kiss was soft and searching at first. Gentle licks and soft nips at my lips. But as usual, the chemistry between us ignited as soon as we touched.
Our sweet, tender kiss turned animal-like. The kind of kiss that was so untamed neither of us had any control. His tongue moved hungrily against mine, seeking the kind of pleasure that left us sated yet utterly ravaged.
My back hit the wall. His fingers dug into my thighs as he lifted my legs over his hips. He ground his erection against my pussy, and I knew I'd combust with a few clever thrusts of his hips. He moved his lips to my neck, biting and sucking. He was always consumed with marking me. So much so he didn't hear the door open and made no move to stop.