Initiate Me(13)

“I knew what I was doing.”

Jada yanked my hand from her mouth. “You don’t have a clue what you’re doing. You’ve never played games with men before, sweetie, and Zane is definitely the wrong man to decide to mess around with, especially today,” Jada said and turned to her sister. “What the hell were you thinking telling her to do something like that and at my wedding, of all days?”

“Jada, please will you shut up!”

Jada pinned me with a hard gaze. “Please don’t do this. Not tonight. Not with him.”

“You know what?” I said, looking at both sisters. “I am going to tell you something I have never admitted to anyone before. Both of you have never had any trouble with men and neither of you know what it’s like to be invisible.” I instinctively lifted my chin and pushed back my shoulders. “I’m sick of it.”

“You are not invisible, Mia! For God’s sake, you are gorgeous and every man at the wedding was staring at you today and even tonight,” Jada reassured me.

Yeah, but not the man I wanted to notice me.

“Can we just forget about all of this and pretend I never mentioned it? Let’s talk about the ceremony and how wonderful it was instead, okay?”

“Now that sounds like a plan,” Milan interjected. “I honestly never thought I’d see The Max Brunetti all choked up when he asked if you would love, honour and comfort each other.”

Thank God, Milan turned the conversation around. And it was true, the ceremony was so moving that I had to reach for Milan’s hand and hold it tightly as we all waited for that perfect moment when my brother declared his love to Jada. It felt as if the entire world stood still when Max turned to Jada and smiled at her. My chest squeezed at the undying love radiating from my brother to his bride. It made me wonder what it would feel like to have a man look at me like that. As if I was absolutely everything to him.

A tear had slipped down my cheek when Max said, “I will love you forever, Jada.” Then moments later, Jada made the same vow to Max, and even more tears fell, one after the other. When our parish priest pronounced them husband and wife, everyone cheered as they kissed. It was then I looked up and caught Zane staring at me. It was that look which gave me the confidence to do what Milan had suggested, which was to approach him and make my move.

I tried to look away.

But I failed.

***

I couldn’t wait to go home. When Milan left with Blake, I hitched a ride with them and they dropped me off at home, seeing as my parents left soon after the reception. The long day and embarrassing scene with Zane had left me feeling tired to the bone and in need of a very hot shower. The moment I reached my bedroom, I started stripping and carelessly scattered my clothing on the floor. I didn’t care. I ran the shower until it was quite hot and stepped under the spray.

I closed my eyes on a sigh of pleasure as the pressure and heat of the water started to relax me. I tipped my head back, letting the spray soak into my hair. I soaped my hair, massaging my scalp as I worked it through my thick waves. I rinsed it out then began to scrub my body with the shower gel.

As I washed myself, my thoughts turned to Zane. I bit my lower lip as images of what we did together came to me and I couldn’t stop them. I remembered his hands on my body and I imagined he was touching me again. A shiver ran through my body as I dropped the sponge and cupped my breasts in my hands. I closed my eyes and rolled both my nipples between my thumbs and forefingers, imagining it was Zane touching me.

I imagined him in the shower with me, his green eyes dark with sensuality, his hair wet, rivulets of water running down that muscular chest as the water pounded down on both of us. I’d slide my hands over his fit body, which I knew was rock-hard and toned, and I bet he’d have a generous package, too.

Then he would kiss me, slowly exploring my mouth. Heat rushed through me as I could almost feel his hands on me. I imagined him moving away and dipping his head to latch onto my nipple. I gasped as I pinched my nipples, almost feeling the warmth of his mouth on me, licking and sucking.

My thighs were slick with need and I slipped two fingers into my wetness, imagining they were his. I circled my clit while I played with my nipple with my opposite hand.

I parted my lips at the sensations. My arousal spiked thinking about what he would do to me. He would catch me by the waist, lift me and push me up against the cool, tiled shower wall while I wrapped my thighs around him.

Damn it, I could’ve been with him right now, like this, if he hadn’t rejected me. The more I thought about us together, the more I felt myself coming closer and closer to orgasm. I imagined what it would feel like when he finally placed his cock against my core and drove it into me hard. Being a virgin, I had only ever read about having sex, but I wanted to experience it so badly and only with Zane. I moved my finger faster and faster on my clit as he thrust in and out in my mind, taking me with fierce intensity.