As my abdomen is relaxing, my phone starts playing “I Just Want to Dance with You.” My heart takes flight, battering against my rib cage, and a second later my heart-monitor alarm sounds its warning. I catch Mary shooting Brad a warning look, and he grabs my phone and sprints like he’s in the Olympics out of my hospital-room door. But, I’m supposed to be the one to tell him I’m in labor.
Mary gives me her stern-nurse glare. I recognize the look. They must teach it in nursing school, because nurses have the look down pat. It’s the expression that says, I’ve been nice, but you’re now on my turf, and playing by my rules.
“Doctor Collins, Doctor Starr has briefed me on the circumstances surrounding your labor. We aren’t worrying about Colin right now. I need you to focus on you and your baby. Brad is going to take care of Colin. When the phone rang, your heart rate went through the roof. If it continues to do that, Doctor Starr will take the baby via C-section, whether or not Colin’s present. If you want to do what’s best for your family then you’ve got to focus on your labor. Am I making myself clear?”
I nod my head, knowing that she’s right. But, it doesn’t make him not hearing the news from me any easier.
She warns that another contraction is coming, and I grip her hand as I labor through it.
Brad knocks, and gets the all clear from Mary before he shuffles in, holding my phone at arm’s length from his ear. He doesn’t have to say who’s on the other end. I can hear his voice across the room, and the phone isn’t on speaker.
Brad interrupts the crazed, screaming man and says, “Here she is, Colin,” while he hands me my phone like it’s toxic. He shakes his head and almost dives for the safety of the sofa in the corner of my room.
I take a deep breath, remembering Mary’s lecture, and begin my own. “If you scream at me, I’m hanging up on you. I’m in labor. It hurts like hell. And I will not be yelled at like I’m a child.”
I hear him let out a deep breath. In a scratchy, tight voice that makes me worry about his molars, he grinds out, “I’m on my way.”
Because I’m a hormonal mess and a little scared, I begin to cry. “I need you, Colin. Tell Jenny to drive fast.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that it was time?” He sounds so pained, as if I’ve cut out his heart.
“You needed your moment. It’s over. Now, I need you. I’m dilated to four centimeters, and I want to have this baby natural, but I need you here with me. This baby will not be born until you get here. I promise.”
Mary interrupts, and says, “You’re about to have another contraction.”
I hand Mary my phone, and ask her to put it on speaker. Brad rushes to my side, gripping my hand.
“I’m having a contraction. Brad’s holding my hand,” I yell to Colin, so he knows what’s happening. My abdomen is squeezing tighter and tighter. I’m unable to take a breath, and I clench my hand around Brad’s, trying to disperse the pain.
“You can do this, Charlie. You’ve got this, baby,” Colin coaches over the phone. “I know that it hurts, but in a couple of hours we’re going to meet our baby, and it’ll all be worth it. I’m still in downtown, but I’ll be there as soon as I can. I love you, Charlie.”
As my stomach relaxes, I lie back against the elevated top half of the bed. Brad starts doing this dramatic shaky thing with his hand as if it’s about to fall off. What a baby!
“They’re getting more intense each time,” I inform Mary and Colin, ignoring Brad’s dance.
Mary looks at the contraction monitor and agrees with me. “The baby’s heart rate is holding strong through the contractions, but let’s get Doctor Starr in here and have her do a check up on you.”
I nod in agreement as Colin begins rapid-firing questions at Mary. Mary patiently explains to Colin that she must exit the room as I motion for Brad to take the phone.
He picks it up as if it’s a snake, and takes Colin off of speaker.
Another contraction hits me before I feel like I’ve recovered from the previous one. I squint my eyes closed, gripping the sheet as I roll over on my side in the fetal position, gasping for relief.
I know Brad is attempting to calm Colin down, but I can’t concentrate on their conversation. Mother Nature is kicking in. The whole world can go jump in a lake. I’m listening to her very stern instructions on what I should be doing.
I find a zone, a happy place, a nirvana, or whatever it is. It’s the place that women have been visiting since time began. It’s the place that women found before there was such things as epidurals. The surge of hormones makes me tingle and feel as if I’ve got the best buzz or high in the world.