Infinite Us(82)

       
         
       
        

That hadn't been a lie. Isaac had taken me to Charlotte the week before, where his sister, Clara, had been visiting for the weekend, but when we knocked on the door, smiles bright, hands shaking with nerves, she'd refused to let me in. She'd made him choose. Me and the baby, or her.

He hadn't even taken a breath before he answered her.

"No contest." And then he led me off the front stoop and back to the Bel Aire.

Now, in my parent's living room, I caught my father's gaze, something flashing behind them as he watched Isaac. I couldn't read it, but it seemed to keep him from being able to react to our news.

My mother, however, instantly started to cry. "Is not you," she told Isaac, wiping her eyes. "She's my baby."

"I've got some money saved up," Isaac told her, his words came out in a rush. "I'm not very religious myself, but whatever Riley wants the baby to be is fine with me."

"Riley … what of your studies?" Mom said, as my father walked over to the window, staring out across the yard and into the street beyond, the muscle along his jaw tight and working.

"She can always finish later, Mom." Ryan's smile was wide as he walked toward us, unworried as he shook Isaac's hand and kissed my forehead. "I think it's great news. Really. Congrats, sis."

But my mom was still struggling with the notion. "How will she study with a baby?"

"Mom, this is Riley we're talking about. She'll figure it out."

Ryan held her hand, his grin ridiculous and as she dabbed at her eyes and nodded in agreement, which warmed me to the bottom of my heart. It was then that she seemed to realize how quiet my father had become. Mom looked over her shoulder to where he stood looking out of the window. "You have nothing you want to say to your daughter?"

Dad nodded, his focus still on the view outside that window. The fall weather had turned the cherry trees to green masses and the large oak trees that lined our street had the most beautiful stretch of red and gold leaves. I wondered then what my father thought of; was he disappointed in me? Did he worry what would be become of us? Of his first grandchild?

"Dad?" Still he made no answer. My stomach started to churn, and I was of half a mind to grab Isaac's hand and high tail it out of there. I stood up and touched his fingers, pulled him into the adjoining dining room, away from my mother's cries and my father's stoic reflection.

"Isaac, I'm scared. Do you think we should go?"

I looked up at him, into those odd amber eyes and that beautiful smile. The damned fool that I loved was smiling. Then he reached down to touch my face. 

"Riley..." he said, and he wasn't faltering, but searching for the right words. "These are the bones I live in. They take me through this life good or bad. I can't tell you what that's like." He dropped his hand from my face and I held my breath, not sure what he was trying to say. "You can't know what it's like, neither, just the same as me not knowing what it is to be you. We all have our burdens to carry and I don't pretend like mine is any heavier than anyone else's. I only know that from the first day I met you, you asked me to add weight to my burden. You wanted me to pretend that the world won't do its damnedest to break us. You and me and now this baby. It's gonna tear us to pieces."

"Isaac … I don't care what anyone else in the world thinks."

He nodded, his fingers soft on my face, his smile still glowing. "That's just it, Riley. It's gonna tear us to pieces, but damn if I ain't eager to catch each one of 'em while they fall. I love you, Riley, something fierce. God help me, I do."

Isaac leaned forward then, lifting my chin and kissed me, soft, sweet, just long enough for any noise in the other room to go quiet. We looked into the den, realizing by how my mother's sniffles had eased, how Ryan's grin had gone all wide and stupid, that my family had heard everything Isaac said. He pulled me back into the den and I looked over at my father and noticed his nod, his hands now in his pockets. Through the window behind him I could see the cherry blossom buds as they were blown from their branches, to swirl and scatter in the wind.

Finally, Dad cleared his throat, releasing a long exhale through his nose.

"The ACLU assigned Bernie Cohen a case about a mixed-race married couple in Virginia. Whispers are that it'll end up in the Supreme Court. They're hoping to make the ban on interracial marriages unconstitutional." Dad scratched his chin, pressing his lips together as he kept his returned his attention outside of that window. "Cohen has a fine case and I have a feeling they'll win." He turned toward us, his expression still solemn. "But that won't be for a while, well after my grandchild is born."