"I guess you figured it was probably Trent." The name came out low, like a curse, and I couldn't keep my lip from curling a little when I spoke it. "I'd bet anything it was him." Another nod and I stepped closer to him. "Are you … " My tongue felt thick and knotted. "Do you blame me?"
"Riley," he finally said, standing away from the beam. "Come here to me."
I didn't hesitate and his arms were around me, my face against his chest before anything else could pass between us. This was where I belonged-safe, protected, loved. The idea shocked me, made me huddle closer to him. Did Isaac love me? He'd never said it, but I felt it just then, in the fierceness of his arms, in how tightly he held me, as though he wouldn't let go. As though he would never let me go.
"You think I blamed you? You of all people?" His voice rumbled against my ear and I hummed, loving the feel of it. "How is it your fault when that dog runs his mouth?" Isaac pulled back to look down at me but kept me in the circle of his arms. "That bastard hit you. He hurt you, body and soul. No one deserves that, least of all you. I wanted... I wanted to....but you wouldn't let me. Your heart is too big. I don't know if you were protecting him or me, but you wouldn't let me take out how angry I was on him, even though he deserved it. And I figure if you can let go of what he did to you, then who was I to hold a bigger grudge? So I did what I could to be there for you when you were down. And soon, all I saw was you."
"But if it hadn't been for me … "
"This is what I've been telling you, Riley, for months. This is the world we live in. It's the way of things." He said it so simply, not as something that was a sad, pathetic thing; just a statement of fact.
"But that's not … it's not right."
"Maybe it ain't, but that don't change it. Maybe nothing will. Maybe time will, who knows? But in my gut I know who I can trust. I know who looks at me and sees me, not some damn idea they have in their heads." He moved his hand, running a finger along my bottom lip. "This thing we got … I told you, it won't be easy."
"Nothing good is ever easy, Isaac."
There was a pause as unasked questions hovered around us. I considered what life would be like with Isaac, that no matter how committed we might be to our relationship, we could not exist in a vacuum. Struggles would follow us wherever we went, and would spill out to our families, our loved ones, our friends.
He waited. Although Isaac was the one who moved with caution, the one who refused to assume that the easy road would be ours to travel, he waited for me to come to a decision. He wanted me to say yes, but wouldn't ask the question. He would not lead me anywhere, but would be waiting for me when I arrived-if I didn't turn back.
"Isaac?" He nodded again and brought me closer. His cheeks were wide, his features strong and he closed his eyes, as though he relished the feel of my fingertips over his face. "Will you love me? No matter what happens?"
Isaac pulled me around him, holding me against his large body, his hand around my waist. His voice was quiet, but filled with strength, with conviction. "Always."
No one had touched me like Isaac. He had a way about him, something real and honest that was assured by his long, perfect fingers down my back and the slip of his tongue inside my mouth. There was no fear, not when those fingers gripped me tighter, when he slowly lowered my zipper and held my hand as I stepped out of my dress.
He watched me then, and even though a different Riley might have been shy, I liked the way his stare felt against my bare skin. It was me he wanted, only me; only I could sate his hunger, redeem that desperate look that had caught him in a silent pause.
Isaac still held my hand, arm extended with that hard, greedy gaze working over me. He made me feel needed, wanted, he made me feel necessary. And when he pulled my hand to rest it against his heart, I held my breath, waiting to hear what he thought, hoping he wanted me as much as I wanted him. "My sweet … my beautiful Riley."
He stepped back, my fingers trailing away from his chest, and tugged off his shirt, dropping it to the floor, instantly forgotten. Isaac picked me up and carried me to the bed, divesting me of everything that kept me covered, and everything that kept him hidden from me.
I had never seen a naked man before. I'd never been naked with a man before. But there I lay on Isaac's large bed covered by his long legs and muscular thighs, my small frame underneath him, open to him as he took control and showed me what it meant to be loved.
"You and me, Riley, there's nothing but this. Nothing else but this, how we are right now."
Isaac never spoke much of his feelings, the things that rocked his soul, the many worries that kept him up at night. Maybe he didn't know how to say he loved me, but just then, with Isaac's warm, solid body right against mine, skin to skin, touching me like no one ever had before, I decided words weren't all that important.