It was one thing for my family to champion equality-they had, my entire life. My Jewish mother had seen her entire family wiped out in concentration camps; my father had been one of the soldiers liberating her camp. Intolerance wasn't something they forgave easily. It's why they had devoted themselves to working towards Civil Rights. But their only daughter, their little girl, falling for a black man? In D.C. at the height of the Civil Rights movement? Well. I wasn't sure how they'd react. The longer Ryan's silence stretched, the more uneasy I felt with my belief that who I loved, no matter who they were, didn't really matter to my family.
After what felt like hours, Ryan sat up, joining me in my distracted focus on the pigeons and their fountain diving. When he spoke, his attention stayed on the birds. "Is he a good man, Riley?" Then he held up his hand, stopping me before I could answer. "What am I saying? Of course he is. You wouldn't fall for a jerk."
"No," I said, coming close to admitting what had pushed me and Isaac together, but that would bring Trent's obnoxious behavior front and center right at a crucial time for the Voting Rights Act. "No, I couldn't be with anything but a good man." I paused, turning to face my brother and he glanced at me, his face relaxing when I smiled. "He … he makes me feel safe, Ryan. He makes me, just so damn happy."
I didn't have the words to explain to my brother the thousand small things that Isaac did that made me laugh, made me think. I only knew that our conversations went on for hours, even before he first kissed me. I only knew that he asked me what I thought about issues and actually listened to my answers, that he would tell me what he honestly thought, and didn't try to change my mind when our opinions differed. We read together at the library when there was no one around. Sometimes he read pages and pages with that rich, booming voice and it sounded like heaven to me. Isaac liked to hold my hand even when we walked down the street, even when his pinky curled around mine drew the attention of total strangers. He made me laugh, he made me think and I liked to believe I did the same to him. But Ryan didn't seem to need to know any of that. Ryan loved me. He was my best friend in the whole world and he likely could see that I was truly happy. The rush of it colored my face.
"Well then," he finally said, smile wide, eyes brightened with laughter again. "That's all that matters, isn't it?" The pigeons flew off and my brother ignored them, took to shaking his head as though the questions he had didn't matter in the least. Ryan nudged my arm, a playful gesture he'd always done when he wanted to tease me. "Imagine that, my kid sister in love. Wonders never cease."
"Very funny." He stood, lead me away from the bench and past the fountains. "You never know, maybe you'll luck up and find someone someday," I quipped.
"No way, sis. One O'Bryant in love is more than this city can handle."
The phone had not stopped ringing for a solid week. The summer still moved on, but Trent hadn't moved on with it. As August approached, word was the President was about to sign the Voting Rights Act. That meant Trent would lose the leverage he had that kept me from announcing to my family and the world the reasons why we had broken up. It had been nearly a month since he'd hit me. A month since the first time Isaac kissed me. It made no sense for Trent to be so relentless, but then, Trent wasn't used to being denied anything. His image was more important to him than anything, and like most bullies, he didn't mind who got hurt as long as he got his way. I very well might have been the only one who'd ever told him no, and I was pretty sure his vanity hadn't accepted it, even a month later.
"I'm going to take the phone off the hook," I threatened Trent when I finally answered the phone after an hour had passed and he kept calling with no let up. I didn't much worry about him coming to my dorm; Mr. Thomas, an older Texan around my father's age who took shrapnel to the knee in Japan during the war took his security guard duties seriously. He wouldn't even let Ryan sit for too long in the lobby unless I was with him.
"You're being a little ridiculous, Riley. This childish behavior of yours has gone on too long and Senator Mansfield is sponsoring an important dinner. I'm sure your father has mentioned it."
"He might have."
"Of course he has." There was a confident ease to his tone that made him sound too familiar, too sure of himself. "I'll need you to accompany me. My father doesn't know that you and I have quarreled and he'll expect you there with me."
"You and your father can expect all you want Trent. I'll be there, but I won't be with you."
I hung up before he could make a complaint, in a hurry to meet Isaac at the library after his shift. He'd gone to see his sister, up from Atlanta, in Richmond while she visited friends and I'd not seen him in nearly two days. My fingertips tingled the closer I came to the library. I'd missed touching him, kissing him. I missed everything that only Isaac could make me feel.