I rose to my knees and pushed through the doorway, keeping my head bent low beneath the smoke, and the rag tight against my mouth. The air was torturously dry and my lungs felt like they were crumbling inwards, blackened and parched. My mother wasn’t inside – I couldn’t see her through the flames and the smoke. I realized that soon she would be looking for me. I had to get out before she came back in. I ignored the burning in my chest and set a course for the boys, keeping left against the wall as I crawled across the hot tiles.
The fire roared like an untamed beast, surging ever closer as I pulled my body across the floor, cutting my hands on glass as jars popped and splintered around me. The back door had been blown off its hinges in the explosion. The alleyway beyond winked at me through crests of amber.
When I reached the boys Luca was half-conscious, his head bobbing off his chest as he tried to lift it. Nic was still crumpled in half. I grabbed Luca by the shoulders, shaking him.
‘Luca!’ I slapped him across the face. ‘Wake up!’
He started to stir, his eyes igniting with a dull flicker of recognition.
I shook him again. ‘Get up! We have to get out.’
The fire was creeping closer to our huddled circle, the flames growing hot against my back. Pots and pans were clanging to the ground, rolling against my ankles, and putrid smells were filling the air.
Luca was coughing violently. I pulled him by the shoulders and he pitched forwards, dragging himself to his knees.
We turned to Nic, scrabbling on either side of him. Luca lifted his brother’s crumpled torso up so that he was facing forwards. His eyes were shut and his forehead was mussed with black. Luca shook him, his movements frantic with dawning horror. What if he didn’t wake up? What if the blast had been too much for him?
I squeezed Nic’s hand to try and rouse him. Luca was shouting, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I grabbed Nic’s wrist and struggled to find his pulse. It ebbed faintly beneath my fingers.
There was an almighty smash behind me, and I lurched forwards as a light fixture split in half and came crashing to the ground. Shards embedded themselves in the backs of my arms.
I still couldn’t hear Luca, but I could read his lips. ‘We have to move him!’
I crawled over Nic’s body and grabbed his left arm as Luca took hold of his right. We heaved together, falling on to our haunches and dragging him with us. I gritted my teeth, spluttering as smoke choked the oxygen from our lungs. We pushed backwards, where the flames were charring the presses above the stove. Nic was impossibly heavy. His arms and legs splayed against the floor, lolling over ash and dust as we inched towards the doorway. My eyes were so sore I could barely keep them open, but I could feel the coolness rippling somewhere nearby. We were almost there. If we could just make it to the threshold, my mother would help us pull him outside.
A cupboard burst into an explosion of orange and red and I jumped to the side. Luca twisted and fell against me. Nic’s legs began to twitch. He lifted his head and it fell backwards until he was staring up at the ceiling. He blinked quickly, trying to orient himself. His mouth was falling open, and his chest lurched as he spluttered black mucus on to his shirt.
I could feel the cool air on the back of my neck. Just five more steps. Ignore the heat. Don’t think about the pain. And then we were out, stumbling backwards into soaked trash and splashing puddles. Nic was on his side, his hand pressed against the dirt, trying to steady himself as he retched. Luca had doubled over against the dumpster.
I lifted my head, squinting into the darkness. All I could see was red. The fire had robbed me of my senses. I blinked hard. There was nothing but trash, and me and Nic and Luca. And … there was no one else.
‘Mom?’ I floundered into the alley as I scanned the darkness, the flames still imprinting in my vision like stencils. ‘Mom?’
There was no moisture in my throat, no energy left to move my tongue. She couldn’t hear me, not over the thunder and the fire and … it didn’t matter. Because she wasn’t here – she wasn’t outside. She wasn’t here!
I turned around. The doorway was half-enveloped by flames but I could see a way into the smoke. I was small enough to clear it. I charged, throwing myself into the amber hole and spreadeagling myself across the ground.
Behind me, Luca was screaming my name.
I set my sights on the island in the centre. Hungry flames were choking down its wooden base. There was a narrow passageway but the unlit space was dwindling rapidly. I started crawling towards the island, circling the pocket of fire. Already, my cheeks were scalded red-raw and my eyelids were beginning to droop. My head felt heavy, rolling forwards from my neck. But I could swear I heard a voice, a quiet tinkling amidst the inferno. Was she calling my name?