Once in a while, if I were lucky, a bucket of water was sent down so I could clean myself. On those rare occasions, I also got a change of clothes.
These clothes were never my size and always had a distinct smell to them, which only made me feel dirty all over again. They wanted to break me with their words until I was nothing, but I refused to give them the satisfaction. At night, as I lay my head on the soiled mattress with springs poking out while wrapped up in a worn blanket, I hugged my pillow thinking of my life before all of this.
The hole was cold, a bottomless pit of nothing. It only served as a place to hold me captive from the life I once lived. From the life, I had grown to know in just a few short weeks. A life with him. My mind was an indecisive mess. I couldn’t tell what day it was let alone what month. It felt as if I had been hidden here for an eternity.
“Was that really fucking necessary?” I growled unable to hold back my anger a second longer as I looked up to the only place allowing light into my darkness. The entrance to my own personal hell. I had held onto hope in the beginning when Zerro would come and save me, but after three weeks of this shit, give or take, it had slipped away. I knew if he were coming he already would have, and for some reason, the thought only stirred the fire to get out of this fucking hole that much more.
“Was it needed?” he mocked laughing down at me, his voice making me want to vomit. “Of course it was needed. Your stupid ass wouldn’t wake up.” I clenched my fists, digging my nails into the dirt covered ground to the point of pain. But I didn’t whimper. I didn’t even wince. The point of this hole was to shatter me until I no longer recognized the person I once was. Make me resilient to them. Make me break. Make me forget about my life outside of this place. What they didn’t take into account was, instead of it breaking me, it built me up. It made me stronger.
“Weird, I didn’t hear you say wake up. All I heard was you call me a stupid bitch. Clearly, you’re the bitch, but you do know you are also the stupid fucking one as well, right?” I narrowed my eyes, locking my own with his. His mask was firmly in place, but I could tell, one day I was going to push him just enough to reveal himself.
I watched as he threw the bucket down, dirt swirling around in the air as it landed by my feet. “You’re lucky the boss wants you alive; otherwise, I would’ve fucked that pretty pussy already. Then I would’ve slit your throat and watched you bleed out.” Somehow, I managed not to cringe, not even a tiny bit. I didn’t even care about what he was saying.
Instead, I smiled. “You’re stupid because when Zerro comes for you, you’ll be running for the fucking hills.” I wasn’t sure why I said it, as I was losing hope he would come, but I had to have something to hold onto if I wanted to get out of here alive.
“Listen up, bitch. Whenever he comes for you, which he won’t, it will be to kill you. Have you forgotten you’re the enemy in his eyes?” He was mocking me. His eyes promised all kinds of things, and I knew, if he ever got his hands on me, he would try something.
Instead of luring myself into a deeper conversation where he would make me feel like I was beating my head against rocks, I simply zipped my lips. Allowing what he said to bother me would just bring more self-doubt, and given the situation I was in, it would be the last thing I needed.
“Did you hear me, bitch? I said you’re the enemy. Your father killed his mother. What don’t you understand about that? E.N.E.M.Y. That’s what you are.” He spelled the words out as if I were a dumb fuck who couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.
“I know how to fucking spell. I don’t care if he thinks I’m the enemy, my father didn’t do shit.” I was astonished. After everything, I was still sticking up for my father. I mean, he wasn’t here trying to figure out where his fucking daughter was.
An evil laugh left the masked man’s mouth, and I narrowed my eyes at him. From this distance, I couldn’t make out his height to weight ratio, and even if I could take him, I didn’t have the slightest clue on how the fuck I was going to get out of this hole.
“You know nothing about your father, do you?” He wasn’t really asking a question. I knew he was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.
“I know he’s my dad and that’s all that matters.” I had nothing more to say, so instead, I looked at my feet covered in dirt from the ground. I felt dirty, used, and abused, even though no one had touched me. Yet.
“You hear this…” I rolled my eyes. He must be talking to the other masked man who occasionally delivered shit for this nob job. “Little ole bitch here thinks her dad is the good guy in all of this.” I could hear his gruff laughter even though I was trying to block it out. I need to find a way out of this mess, out of this god for-fucking-saken hole.