“It is not what you think.” She turned a look of such fury on me that I took a step back. My sweet girl has ever had a most pleasant disposition. I had yet to see her cross or out of sorts.
“Cecile…” She turned away and begun her bloody running again.
“Do not run lest you fall and harm my child.” The words were a harsh whisper as I reached out to take her shoulder.
“Your child, what difference does this one make when you have so many bastards running around the countryside?”
“Because this one I gave to you. You will calm down before you make yourself ill I command you.”
We were both breathing erratically out in the open for all to see. “Come we cannot speak here.”
“I am fine. I do not need to go anywhere with you.”
“Cecile, now.” I held her arm and led her back to the palace and my chambers.
She huffed away from me as soon as the doors were closed and refused to look at me. “Cecile I did not ask her here.” It had been some time since I’ve had to explain myself to anyone. Why was I doing it now? I’m afraid I knew the answer to that very well. What a buggering mess.
I knew where this was all leading. Had made peace with the decision I have to make. Immediately after her sire had left my chambers I had known. There was no hope for it. I am in love with her and soon she will bear my child. Had lady Georgina not interrupted me I would’ve sought her out and told her as much.
“It matters not you have fulfilled your promise, you owe me nothing.” She turned to the door infuriating me beyond measure. I should’ve stayed in the bloody country.
‘Take your hand away from that door and come here to me. I will not ask you again Cecile, this is an order from your king.”
“I care not you…you…” She was crying too hard to go on and instead of heeding my threats she flung the door open.
“If you leave this chamber you will suffer for it. If you should happen to get away I will drag you back and tan your arse before the whole kingdom then drag you to my bed and fuck you to within an inch of your life.
I will not give you up your anger be damned.”
“Come, you should not become this upset in your condition milady, come to me.” In the end I had to go to her and bring her back into the room. Her little body was stiff and shaking and I wished I had wrung lady Georgina’s bloody neck.
“Look at me.” I lifted her chin and wiped her face. “I did not mean to hurt you. I did not call her here, she just came.”
“Is she having your child?”
“No.”
“But she said…”
“She said what, when?” She certainly had not heard what had been said here today so what could she be referring to?
“The day before we left. She said that you were to be wed.” I took her face in my hands. “That was never my intent. I never said any such thing and wouldn’t have I promise you.” She searched my eyes and her body relaxed some.
“It matters not any longer Julian. You have done everything I have asked and more. You owe me nothing.”
“So why do you look so miserable?” She was back to avoiding my eyes.
Why had I not seen it before? Had I been too busy with my own lust that I had missed what was right before my eyes? “Are you in love with me Cecile?” It was all so clear now. The way she clung to me when I took her. The way she sometimes followed me with her gaze when she thought I was unaware.
Now she refused to answer and the look of fear in her eyes hurt. “Why did you not tell me? Was the reason you came to my bed only to get with child, or was there something else?” I could see the fight she had within herself before she answered.
“I wanted the child. I wanted to be free of men and their control. Four years I was wed to a man who could not bear to touch me. I was alone and apart from everything I loved and I had no say in the matter. Now my father wishes to marry me to a man older than he is...”
“That will never happen. Did you not hear me? I will never let you go?”
“And what does that mean your majesty? Will you hide me away in one of your castles? Am I to spend the rest of my life watching the same scene play out over and over again? I will not be your whore, ow…”
I grabbed her face and pulled her into me. “Do not say such things. I have not asked that of you have I?”
“And what if you marry what then? When your council pressures you into marriage to some foreign princess where will that leave me?”
“No one will pressure me into anything I make my own rules. I have no need of a foreign princess, my kingdom is secure and my coffers well full. Do not speak.” I shushed her when she opened her mouth to rail at me again.