“You didn’t save me, fucker, you just patched me up,” Zerro growls as if thinking of someone else saving him doesn’t sit well with him. If that is the case, things between him and I aren’t going to go well. I won’t rub it in his face that I saved his life, but if he tells me he can’t let me go, I will remind him that he is standing here because of me. That is if I can even walk away from him.
“Shut up and stop moving,” Jared shoots back, and Zerro’s face turns to mine once again. I get the feeling that Jared and Zerro go way back. Not that Jared told me a lot about himself on the ride here. Aside from the small questions he had asked me, I know nothing about him.
“Are you okay?” Zerro asks, his voice is as smooth as butter. His hand that I am pressing against his abdomen strokes across my skin. My insides turn to mush, and though I am a mess… I still want him. He has that effect on people.
“Yeah, I’m fine…” I barely get out without a moan. I don’t want to make Jared uncomfortable, and I don’t really think that Zerro will be up for sex so I just keep it to myself.
“Are you sure?” He is pushing his physical pain to the back burner. Why is he so concerned with me? Worry marks form on his face as he frowns at me. He thinks I am lying. I really am okay. I am shaken up a bit, and I will forever feel guilty for ripping someone from their family, but I will move on. I have too.
“I’m…. I’m okay. Really.” I answer, smiling at him. This is something I haven’t ever seen in him. I have never seen him be gentle or kind. He is always dark and crude. It is as if a switch flipped within him. Before Zerro can say anything else, Jared interrupts.
“You’re good to go, King. No rowdiness.” He picks up the buckets and cloths and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. Is it that obvious that we need a moment alone?
Silence passes between us as he stares at me. I can’t read him. I used to be able to tell what he was thinking or at least what kind of mood he was in.
“You saved my life,” he says softly, pulling me down towards his lips.
“Yeah, I did. Does that mean the debt is paid?” My own feelings are starting to come forward. If he tells me I can leave, will I? Will I ever be safe without him or am I as damned as much as he is?
Anger flutters just under the surface. His mocha colored eyes turn dark as his hand reaches up into the back of my hair, holding it tightly, holding me tightly.
The sting of pain, as my hair pulls, makes me smile. “That debt is never going to be settled, Piccolo.”
The smile is wiped from my face, as dread settles deep into my bones. It has to be settled! We have to be even now. I saved his life!
“Why?” I cry out as he pulls me closer to his mouth. His hot breath is against my face, and he smells like bourbon and man. Sweat still lines his brow, and blood seeps through the cloth on his shoulder.
“Because now it is I who is indebted to you…” It dawns on me that he hasn’t said that I had still owed him. I am just about to pull away when his lips crash against mine. The kiss is full of passion, hate, and anger. He holds me in place as I softly paw at his chest. His teeth nip at me in a way that has me parting my own lips.
“You were impossibly fucking hot when you shot that gun,” he groans against my lips. I smile, not sure what all this means. Does this mean that he owes me? That I can leave…
“I’m glad you think it’s hot, but I feel really bad about killing that man. Even if he was going to kill us.” Sadness forms on my face and can be heard in my voice. I don’t want to hide the fact that it bothers me that I had killed someone. Zerro knows how I feel about death, about taking someone else’s life. It isn’t fair.
“It was you or him. I’m certain he wouldn’t have given a shit about you if you died,” Zerro says as if he is angry that I feel badly.
“That’s what Jared said too. I know he wouldn’t have felt badly, and I know that if I didn’t kill him, you would have died, but it doesn’t make what I did any easier.” Tears prick behind my eyes. I don’t want to cry. I haven’t cried through this whole thing so I don’t know why I feel the need to do so now.
“Sometimes you have to pull the trigger, Piccolo. Sometimes it’s not about you and them as people. Instead, it’s about survival. You kill or be killed, love. That’s how this works.” His voice is so soft it feels as though he is wrapping me in a blanket of kindness. I feel myself leaning down to lie on him, my head on his chest. We have never done such a thing, performed such an intimate act.