Indebted(42)

“They said he was dangerous, out of control. They think I’m working with the FBI or something.” I sound just as Luccio did, and I understand the look on Jared’s face as he absorbs what it is that I have said. I had that same look on my face as Luccio told me.

I watch cautiously as his hands grip the steering wheel harder. “He’s dangerous, Bree. I know I don’t have to tell you that; I know you’ve seen him at his worst. However, he’s not out of control. He’s doing what he is meant to do in life. Luccio wanted him dead for an entirely different reason, I’m sure.”

I hear his words, but they mean nothing to me. The pure fact that Luccio wanted Zerro dead is enough for me to gather that I ended up in the middle of something that is sure to kill all of us. Hell, Zerro is already on the verge of death. Even I am. Being shot at isn’t something I plan on doing daily.

“It doesn’t matter because now Luccio is dead, and all of his men are going to come for us. Plus, there’s some fucking FBI agent, or pig, in on all of this.” My voice is growing louder and louder. I am scared and panicking. Where do we go from here?

“Just calm down. When Zerro wakes up, I’ll get the full story. You’re in shock, so just breathe and try to calm down.” My eyes grow wide. Is he fucking insane? Somewhere in my mind I know I need to listen to him, but I just shot a gun. I just killed someone. I fucking killed someone!

“I killed someone!” I cry out as if I am admitting my deepest sin. The gun slips from my lap and to the ground. I have seen death, my mother had died at the hands of cancer, but I have never killed someone. I feel the worst kind of hate eating away at who I am.

“You had to. It was you or them.” Jared doesn’t sound remorseful at all.

“That’s not me, though. I wouldn’t ever kill someone. I don’t even know who I am anymore….” The last part isn’t meant to come out of my mouth, but I can’t believe what I have done. I knew that the moment I pulled the trigger someone would die, but I feel like I did too.

“It is either you or him. I can promise you that he wouldn’t have felt anything if they shot and killed you. He deserved it.” My body trembles. Shouldn’t I be crying? Am I really in shock?

“That doesn’t matter. I killed someone.” The words are tumbling out of my mouth.

“You had to.” The way he says it makes it seem final. His stare is gentle, and I know he understands what I am going through. When I said I would pay my father’s debt, I didn’t think I would actually be doing this.

“Where are we going?” I ask, my eyes going back to Zerro. He is still breathing, but his body isn’t moving. When I touch his skin, it is hot to the touch. I keep my hand against his hot skin to remind myself that he is still here with me. Hot skin is better than cold.

“The safe house is up in the mountains. It’s about another thirty minute drive. Then we have to get the code for the security system from Zerro, and we can get in the house.” His eyes go from me, to the road, and back again. I wonder if he thinks I am going to shoot myself or something. I didn’t survive that to end my own life.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask, unable to stop myself. A smile pulls at his lips, and I wonder what he thinks is so funny. My body is still shaking, my hands sweating, my breaths still harsh. I don’t find any of this fucking funny. Plus Zerro is bleeding out next to me.

“Zerro clearly has his hands full with you. You don’t seem like his type by the way.” He says it all matter of fact like. I know I am not Zerro’s type. He went for the submissive, I’ll-let-you-fuck-me-however-you-want types.

“By type, you mean, he doesn’t usually go for the women that do whatever the fuck they want?” I ask, eyebrow raised. He laughs gruffly and the tension inside the SUV eases. I am still scared shitless, but my blood stops pounding in my ears.

“By type I mean he generally doesn’t have a woman who I can judge as his type. He doesn’t usually keep anyone longer than a night.”

“Fantastic. I’m going to end up going to jail with the mafia king who also is a manwhore, which I already kind of assumed.” Leaning over, I run a hand through my hair. My curls are everywhere, I’m sure, and I don’t even want to catch a glimpse of my face.

Laughing softly he says, “Just try and relax. Once we get where we need to be, I’ll let you know.” I nod and return to my thoughts. All sound is non-existent in the SUV except for Zerro’s soft breathing and a small amount of radio noise.

I watch out the window, afraid if I close my eyes that I will relive the scene over and over again. I killed someone. I fucking ripped him from his family and friends without even knowing it. I know nothing about him, and yet I put a bullet in his head, ending his life.