The very thoughts make me think of my mother and the days before she died. She begged me to make promises to her. They were petty, little things, but I agreed to them simply to put her mind at ease. She was already going through so much, and if making a promise made her day better and brought the life back into her, I would do it.
My mind drifts to the most important promise I made. . .
“Promise me. Promise me, that you’ll take care of your father… He’s a man, a stubborn one, but with your guidance he can move on.” Pain showed in her eyes and I knew how hard it was for her to ask me to do something like that. She had always been the one to carry the weight, the one who made sure everything is okay.
With tears in my eyes, I promised her. “I promise, Mom. I promise to keep him in line.” She smiled at my gently. I cursed God, wondering how he could take such a precious person from us. My mother must have noticed my pulling away because she spoke to me with so much love that I was shaken to the core.
“Don’t fret, child. I will always be here. Right in there…” She pointed to my heart. She had given me life, had shown me the meaning of love through her relationship with my father, and I had always thought she would be here.
“When you get lost or you’re worried and you don’t know what choice to make, listen to your heart. I’m in there and I’ll guide you the best that I can. Remember that…”
Her words still echo in my mind as I pull myself from the sad memories. Tears form behind my eyes, and though I am not afraid to cry because I know it doesn’t mean I am weak, I don’t want to. I don’t want to cry over my mom or over the debt I am paying in my father’s name. I want to smile, to be happy and move on from all of this. Someday I will. At least I keep telling myself that. For now I will have to deal. It doesn’t stop me from wondering what my mom would think, though.
What is my father doing right now? My heart tightens as I think of him all alone. Will Zerro let me call him? Let me check up on him? Will Zerro even let me go after all this? Doubts swarm me, fear owns me, and courage is the only thing keeping me going.
I burrow myself into my blanket as I let the doubts eat away at me. I can’t run, or I will die. Zerro has threatened me, and I know that it isn’t an open ended threat. Wait…
A light bulb goes off in my mind. What if I turn the gun on him? What if I take him out before he can take me out? My heart beat skyrockets at the mere thought of shooting him. It isn’t fair that he can point a gun at me and feel nothing. If it were me, I wouldn’t have pointed it at him at all.
A clicking sound startles me as the door to my cell opens. Mack walks inside looking as if he would rather stab needles through his eyes than come and deal with me.
“Get up.” His voice is gruff, but is full of hateful promises. I know he will hurt me if I don’t listen to him.
I stand up slowly. My body aches with all the emotions that have been swirling through me. Living in this house gives me a serious case of whiplash. Just as I steady myself, the asshole grips me by the arm, pulling me into his body.
“If it weren’t for your pathetic ass, his head would be in the game.” Mack wants me to hate him, to feel his anger. I can see it in his eyes, and feel it in the way he grabs me. I want to bite my tongue, and I probably should, but something beyond me thinks it will be a good idea to talk back.
“His head is clearly in the fucking game, asshole. He killed a room full of people and you didn’t so much as blink.” I glare at him, my blood running cold.
A wicked smile pulls at his lips. It’s one that causes my knees to rattle and my stomach to heave. I wish I could smack the look right off his face.
“Has he tried you out yet?” His hand travels down to my ass as he grips it harshly. I pull away from him quickly, knowing that’s the last thing he expects. He will never think of me running or fighting back.
Running through the door, I go down the hall and head for the steps that lead to the first floor. I hear his heavy footfalls behind me and I look around in terror.
“When I get my hands on you… I’ll kill you myself.” His voice sounds as if it’s right on top of me. Not a moment later, the air shoved from my chest as I land against the stairs. His body is against mine, and I can feel his erection against my backside.
“Get the hell off me!” I scream. Gripping me by the arm, he twirls me around, his body pushed against mine again as he stares into my eyes. All I can think is I can’t let him do this to me; I have to get away. I push against him with all my might, but my arms are pinned, and my body is exhausted.