“First,” Eirik interrupted, burping and setting down his now empty bowl. “We will deal with your Dark One problems.”
“I don’t have problems—”
“Was he too rough with you when he bedded you? Were you concerned because you bled?”
“No, that’s not it at all—”
“All virgins bleed, goddess. It is the way of things. One of my wives, the second, I think, was convinced I had torn her up inside, but it was just her maidenhead. Took her three weeks before she’d let me bed her again, and although I don’t approve of you allowing the Dark One to rut with you, you have chosen to do so, and thus you should not keep him from your bed for three weeks because of a little maidenhead blood.”
“No, she shouldn’t,” Isleif agreed. “It’s hard on a man, that sort of a wait. Makes your stones ache.”
“Honest, there’s nothing I need advice about concerning sex—”
“Aye, it does.” Eirik fixed me with a stern look. “A man’s stones are not to be trifled with, goddess. If you insist on bedding the Dark One, then you must let him do so whenever he desires. Anything else would be cruel.”
I sighed. They were going to advise me whether I wanted it or not. Going with the attitude of the quicker it was over, the faster we could move on to important things, I said, “Right. Let him have sex whenever he wants. Don’t fuss over blood. Anything else?”
Isleif looked thoughtful. Eirik frowned at the empty bowl. “If he wishes to do unnatural things to you, allow it. It is not as unnatural as you think.”
“What sort of unnatural things?” I asked, picturing Isleif’s son-in-law with his sheep.
Eirik cleared his throat and leaned toward me, speaking in a confidential tone. “He may wish to put his mouth on your woman’s parts. Some men enjoy that. Others refuse. I, myself, find it entertaining to make a woman squirm with pleasure, so if your Dark One wishes to do so, you must allow him. It would wound his pride if you were to refuse.”
I bit back the laughter that wanted desperately to burst forth. “Okay. I won’t make a fuss if he wants to indulge in oral sex. Now, if you’ve—”
“And if he starts talking about how pretty a particular ewe is, call us. We know just what to do,” Isleif added with dark meaning.
A little chirp of laughter escaped, but I managed to keep the rest of it contained. “I will definitely let you know if Ben suddenly falls in love with a barnyard animal. I hate to change this fascinating subject, but it’s already almost noon, and we really need to get cracking.”
Naomi chose that moment to storm out of her trailer, shooting me a glare that probably would have dropped a horse on the spot, before marching off to her car.
I thought about seeing if Ben was all right.
I am fine. Just tired. I am going to sleep for a bit. What are your plans for the next few hours?
I need to find the Vikingahärta. Any ideas of where I should look?
None, I’m afraid. I will help you if you like.
I was conscious of his hunger and exhaustion. Evidently Naomi hadn’t fed him. That pleased me to no end until I realized that Ben was the one who would suffer for me pissing her off. That’s okay. You rest up for a bit. Imogen offered to help, and I have the Vikings.
He thought something extremely unflattering to the Vikings, then inquired in a cautious manner, If I ask you if you will be all right without me, will you lecture me?
Not now. Later, perhaps. I can feel how tired you are. Did Naomi rip you a new one?
Just about.
I’m sorry, Ben. I shouldn’t have taunted her that way. Are you very hungry?
Not terribly. I can feed from Imogen if I must.
A little pain inside me burst into being at the thought of him feeding from others.
Naomi demanded that I attend the tyro tonight. I told her I would. That seemed to keep her from wanting to smite you on the spot.
I said nothing, but thought a great deal to myself. Sleep well, Ben.
I will dream of you. And the shower.
“Er . . . what were we saying?” I suddenly realized both Vikings were staring at me. “Oh! Today’s plans.” I slumped back against the lounge. “I’m at my wit’s end what to do. We don’t have the Vikingahärta, and I don’t have the least idea of where to even start looking for it. Or the lich who might have taken it.”
“You are a goddess,” Eirik said, shrugging. “You will use your goddess powers and tell us what we must do to find the Vikingahärta.”
“I’m not really a goddess, and I don’t have any . . .” I stopped, a light dawning in what passed for my brain. I looked at my hands. They were bare because I’d been with Ben, which meant I had been very careful not to touch anything I didn’t absolutely have to. I’d even used my T-shirt wrapped around my hand to open Naomi’s trailer door. “I wonder if I could.”