Heat swept up from my chest as I realized just what he was implying. I’d all but given him the go-ahead to jump into bed with me, but he really was going to do it? Excitement fluttered in my stomach. Naomi won’t like it.
He thought something extremely rude about her that made me smile. I entered the trailer, waiting for him to close the door behind himself before I looked at him.
“I’ve wanted to have you alone for a long time,” I said, every bit of me tingling at the nearness of him.
“Even when you thought I was trying to control your life?” he asked, one side of his mouth going up in a smile.
“Well . . . I won’t say there weren’t some fantasies about decking you with a two-by-four mixed in there, but for the most part, even then. Ben, I know I sound like an inarticulate, confused twit—”
“No, you don’t.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Perhaps you sound a little confused,” he admitted with a grin. “But I understand that this is of vital importance to you. Which is why I’m prepared to give you the space you need should you require more of it.”
“I appreciate that.” I bit my lip, trying to figure out how best to get his clothes off him without looking like that’s all I could think of. Which it was, but he didn’t have to know that.
“Are you sure you wish for me to be here tonight, Francesca?” he asked, and the meaning behind his words was extremely clear.
“I’m sure of that. But, I’m . . . uh . . . it seems a little crude of me to just tell you to strip, and then pounce on you. Although right now, that really does sound good.”
He laughed and gently pulled me into his arms. “We will do this slowly, all right? If you wish for me to stop at any time, I will.”
“You will? Really?” I gazed up into his eyes, those beautiful eyes now the color of gold-bespecked honey oak. “What if we had been going at it for a bit, and you were about to”—I waved one hand around in a vague gesture—“blast off?”
He grimaced. “Then I would stop. I’d probably die in the process of stopping, but it would be a noble sacrifice to know that I gave my life making you happy.”
“I never realized just what a big ham you are,” I said and giggled, nipping his lower lip. “Oh, Ben. Even when I didn’t want to be bound to you, I still couldn’t stop thinking about you. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
I know exactly how long, because I’ve endured each second of it wanting you, as well. And now, seeing you as a woman—my woman—so near to me, has almost pushed me beyond all bearing. His mouth was as hot as a furnace as he took charge of the kiss, making me squirm against him as his tongue twined around mine. I pulled off his shirt, my mind giddy with the sight and feel and taste of his bare chest.
I wrapped my arms around him, pressing little kisses to his bare shoulder. You don’t think I’m . . . um . . . You don’t think I’m wrong for wanting to have sex with you, but not Join with you, do you? It’s not against some sort of vampire code, is it? Because I haven’t made up my mind yet about the Joining, and if this is going to be taken as a tacit acceptance of the idea that I’m your Beloved—
If you do not wish for it to be an acceptance, then it will not be. His mouth moved on my skin, his hot breath making me shiver with pleasure as he pulled off my own top, his hands busy with my breasts.
It wasn’t exactly the words I wanted to hear, but it was enough.
I shivered when he nibbled on my shoulder, his hands stroking my breasts, the satin of my bra rubbing sensuously against my nipples. “You know, if we’d done this all those years ago—oh, yes, please!” My fingers clutched the thick muscles of his shoulders as he dipped his head and licked the valley between my breasts.
He chuckled into my mind as my bra fell to the floor, his mouth instantly claiming one of the aching nipples that were waiting just for that touch. I arched my back, stroking and clutching and pulling his shoulders as little spirals of pleasure and heat sank low in my secret parts.
There is a reason we did not, Francesca. You were too young to understand what a physical commitment would mean. Imogen urged me to give you time. She wanted me to show you that you mattered beyond my own base needs, and it didn’t take me long to realize that she was right. I wanted you to come to me without coercion. I wanted to know you were truly mine, and I was content to wait for that.
You think I was that much of a pushover, huh? I was a bit indignant about that. Until he kissed a path over to my other breast, his fingers and mouth working to bring me to a frenzy.