He was silent, his eyes turning dark.
“Why?” I asked David instead.
He looked extremely uncomfortable. “Tyros are . . . The Agrippans tend to celebrate their baser natures, and that’s especially true at their ceremonies.”
He’s talking about sex, isn’t he?
Yes.
He wants you to have sex with Naomi? I asked, ignoring as best I could the cold wave of nausea that hit me with tidal force.
He wishes for me to participate in the tyro. Unfortunately, that would require me to be a part of the group sex that is conducted during the ceremonies.
You can guess how I feel about that.
Yes, I can. And just so you stop thinking lovingly about a serrated grapefruit knife in relationship to my testicles, I will point out that the reason I haven’t attended a tyro is that I have no desire to engage in sex with anyone but you.
I will admit that both his words and the emotion behind them made me feel all warm inside, but David’s next words killed that.
“I know it’s asking more from you than I should, but, Fran, it’s important that we find out as much information as he can before Naomi discovers the truth about him. There’s a tyro scheduled for tomorrow night. Benedikt told Naomi he wouldn’t go, but she’s already suspicious, and if he misses yet another one . . . Well, it could make the last couple of years’ work all for nothing. Not to mention risking the lives of two of my pride members who have gone missing in the last six months.”
I stared at him in horror. “You are not asking me to sanction Ben having sex with a bunch of other people, are you? Because that’s what it sounds like to me, and if you are, you’re seriously in need of some mental counseling.”
“You have every right to be angry, and I completely understand your reaction, but it would be for just one night. You are Benedikt’s Beloved—he would never want to be with any woman but you.”
“No,” I said, wanting very much to punch David again.
“If you understood just how close we are to getting the names of the people involved, and how they are related to the disappearances of my pride members—”
“No!”
“If I can do it without the sex, would you agree?” Ben asked.
I looked at him thoughtfully. “Could you do that?”
“It might be possible.” He was silent for a moment. I could feel him considering and discarding various options. “I might be able to use you as an excuse. Naomi knows you are my Beloved, but that we’ve had some relationship issues. If I told her that you being here is hampering my ability to make a final commitment to her, she might believe it.”
And what if I wasn’t here? What if I was back home where you thought I was? Would you be going ahead with this tyro and all it implies?
He didn’t answer me for a good thirty seconds. When he did, his words were stark with honesty. If you weren’t here now, I would feel compelled to participate in the tyro, but in such a way that allowed me to keep my oath to help David at the same time it honored the bond between us.
You’d have sex with strangers.
No. I’d pretend to have sex with strangers.
How do you pretend to have sex?
You get naked and roll around with a bunch of other naked people.
Fury unlike anything I’d ever felt burbled up inside me. And you think that would be honoring me?
No. I think that would be getting naked and rolling around with other people. That is not sex, Fran.
It’s close enough to make no difference! I snapped.
You think not? Let me ask you this—you believed you had severed our relationship a year ago. How many men have you slept with since then?
You know full well I haven’t been with any man, sexually or romantically. What’s your point?
My point is that I did not believe our bond had been broken. I did not have then, nor do I have now, any desire to engage in sex with any woman but you.
I thought about that for a moment, strangely pleased by the little tinge of outrage to his words. But you would if you had to?
He sighed. There is no way I’m going to be able to continue this discussion without you becoming angry with me.
I was going to point out that was a cop-out, when Inner Fran piped up once again with yet another dish of wisdom: What might have been was not important. It was the here and now that mattered. You’re right. I won’t lambaste you for something you haven’t done.
I didn’t think it would happen, but you have changed, Beloved.
Matured?
Not in the sense you mean. Before, you were fairly insular, very reticent to become involved with anything or anyone. Now you are more aware of others. You are more . . . earthy.
I hope being earthy is a good thing.
Oh, yes. He let me feel his emotions. The little spark that had always been between us shimmered into an electrical charge of attraction that skittered down my back. I could feel him considering me, as if he was seeing me with new eyes, and what he saw pleased him immensely.